Funny / Xavier: Renegade Angel

  • "I pulled the guy's heart out, and showed it to him, and he was like, 'Nice.'"
  • "They say when you die, you **** your pants. But not me; I'm gonna **** my heart."
  • "Are you so retarded you even answer rhetorical questions?"
    • The entirety of "Shakashuri Blowdown".
    • "You look so superficial, you probably judge things by their appearances".
  • "At least he died with God in his heart. You can taste it. Could use a little coconut."
  • "It's an earthquake, a SOULSHAKE!"
  • The hot dog business meeting.
    Xavier: I know I was moving my hot dog in and out of Peterson's wife's buns last night. (Laugh Track)
    Peterson: My wife is dead. (Audience goes "Aw...")
    Xavier: I never said it was consensual. (Laugh Track) Don't worry, I used condiments. (Laugh Track) She enjoyed it with relish. (Laugh Track) Her mouth passed mustard. (Laugh Track) I could hardly ketch-up to her vagina! (Laugh Track)
  • How to distract sports fans: Simply pump your fist and chant "SPORTS!"
  • Four words: Blue Chocolate Chip Tampons.