Funny / X-Men Origins: Wolverine

  • Wade Wilson.
    • "Okay. People are dead."
    • "You whip out of a couple of swords at your ex-girlfriend's wedding and they will never, ever forget it."
    • "Granted it's probably not as intimidating as having a gun or bone claws or the fingernails of a bag lady."
    • "Thank you, sir. You look really nice today. It's the green. It brings out the seriousness in your eyes."
    • "Great! Stuck in an elevator with five guys on a high-protein diet; dreams really do come true."
  • Remy's sudden re-appearance at the end, and Wolverine's annoyed reaction.
    Remy: You miss me?
    Logan: Oh, Jesus...
  • Remy's introduction itself is very him. Wolverine marches up the table looking for him.
    Remy: Do I owe you money?
    Logan: No.
    Remy: [grins] Then Remy LeBeau I am.
  • The Brick Joke with Duke's tattoo of his previous girlfriend.
  • This little exchange:
    Logan: C'mon, bub, for old times' sake!
    Dukes: ...Did you just call me... BLOB?!
    Logan: [genuinely confused] No, but...
    Dukes: ARRRRGGGHHHH!! [charge at Logan and bump him out of the ring]
    • And later:
      Wraith: I told you not to insult his weight! Why'd you have to call him "Blob"?
      Logan: I don't call him "Blob". I said "bub"!
    • Wraith's bright idea to endear Logan to Dukes again? An impromptu boxing match.
    Wraith: I'm trying to help you out here, Logan. Dukes don't like you that much and you know it!
    Logan: The feeling's mutual.
    Wraith: Then use those gloves, man. Dance with him a little bit! Let him get his anger out on you, I figure if you do that he'll tell you anything you want to know.
    Logan: *watching Dukes stretch wearing a shirt at least two sizes too small for him* Oh come on, man, look at him! He's got a big ol' ass coming out the front of his shirt, Jesus...
  • After being put through the adamantium bonding process, Wolverine somehow loses the pair of briefs he was wearing while in the tank, during his escape.
  • While Victor is waiting for Logan to show up after faking Kayla's death, he's carving a smiley-face into the bar counter. Then he hears Logan bellowing his name, and idly asks the bartender if he has insurance.
    Bartender: Insurance? No.
    Victor: Hm. Too bad.
  • Victor finds himself tied up next to Logan, the two of them facing a firing squad... and is totally nonchalant about it.
    'Wake me up when it's over.'
  • Victor's condescending reaction upon seeing Logan's adamantium coated claws for the first time.
    Logan: *SNIKT*
    Victor: Ooh, shiny.