Funny / X2: X-Men United

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  • Professor X dissuades Wolverine from smoking in Cerebro.
    Xavier: Logan, my tolerance for your smoking in the mansion notwithstanding, continue smoking that in here, and you'll spend the rest of your days under the belief that you are a six-year-old girl.
    Logan: Would you really do that?
    Xavier: I'd have Jean braid your hair. Welcome back.
    • Even better, Wolverine puts out his cigar by pressing it in the palm of his hand. Thanks to his healing factor, all he does is wince slightly.
  • Whenever Nightcrawler tries to introduces himself ("My name is Kurt Wagner, but in the Munich circus I was known as the Incredible Nightcrawler"), he's interrupted.
  • The whole scene of Logan and Bobby in the X-Mansion kitchen late at night. They make a surprisingly good comedy duo.
    Logan: Got any beer?
    Bobby: ...This is a school.
    Logan: So that's a no?
    Bobby (coyly): Yea, that's a no.
    Logan: Thanks.
    Bobby: No problem.
  • Bobby introducing Wolverine to his alarmed parents as "Professor Logan". His mother asks him as he's leaning against a doorway in an undershirt what he teaches and he deadpans: "Art."
    • Bobby's brother is not amused.
  • While hiding out at Bobby's parents house, he brings Rogue some new clothes and turns around while she changes in his room...but not before getting a little sneak peek.
  • More of a heartwarming example, but when Nightcrawler explains the markings on his skin it becomes quite humorous.
    Storm: How many?
    Nightcrawler: One for every sin. So quite a few.
  • A tense moment in the jet is interrupted by Magneto and Mystique laughing like the popular girls in a high school movie. "We love what you've done with your hair." At that, Rogue takes a glove off and needs to be held back.
  • At Bobby's house, Wolverine is drinking some beer, when he hears something approaching. He turns and lets his claws out, sticking them right in the face of... the family's pet cat. Who is completely unperturbed and starts licking at one of them.
    • You can also hear the cat yelp when he retracts them in surprise when the Drakes return.
    • Adding to the humor, he doesn't retract them right away, letting the cat check them out with a bemused look on his face.
    • Of course the the cat is unperturbed, retractable claws are nothing unusual to a cat.
  • As a Call-Back from the first movie, Wolverine moves from stealing Cyclops' bike, to his car. Lampshaded by Pyro.
  • When Bobby is freezing his mom's tea cup, this exchange follows.
    Mrs. Drake: This is all my fault.
    Pyro: Actually they discovered that males are the ones who carry the Mutant Gene and pass it on, so, actually it's his (Mr. Drake's) fault.
    Mr. Drake: ...
  • Nightcrawler, excluded from the secret planning session along with Rogue, Pyro, and Bobby offers to spy on it for them and is promptly caught
    Nightcrawler: (hanging upside-down from a tree) Oh, hello! (Aside Glance) [[beat]] (back on the ground) I didn't mean to snoop...
  • When Stryker pits Logan against Yuriko, the first thing she does is knock him on his ass. Getting up, he draws his claws, only for her to respond in kind. His response? A very subtle Fascinating Eyebrow and an utterly bemused "Holy shit".
  • When Mystique has sneaked into Stryker's lair and is fighting guards, she escapes by sliding under a door while giving Stryker the finger.
    • And then, when she's gotten to the control room by disguising herself as Stryker, and seals herself in just as Stryker arrives, she blows him a kiss and gives him a wave just before the doors shut, while still using his form.
    • Both become even funnier when you watch X-Men: Days of Future Past and find out that Stryker's got kind of a track record of being tricked and beaten up by Mystique, possibly explaining why he immediately ordered her to be shot when he realised who "Wolverine" actually was.
  • On the trip from the school to Boston in a Cyclops's car, they reveal their dislike of boybands:
    Pyro: I don't like uncomfortable silences.
    Rogue: What are you doing?
    Pyro turns on the radio; N Sync's "Bye Bye Bye" blasts out.
    Pyro/Rogue/Iceman/Wolverine: (groans)
  • Lady Deathstrike's first attempt at knocking Cyclops out. She strides into the room and casually shoots at him with a dart gun... which does nothing because Cyclops is wearing body armour. He just stares at it for a second before blasting her into the wall like this happens to him all the time.
  • When Wolverine returns to the mansion at the start of the film:
    Wolverine: Who's this guy?
    Rogue: This is Bobby, he's my...
    Bobby: I'm her boyfriend. (shakes Logan's hand and freezes it) Call me Iceman.
    Wolverine: Boyfriend? So how do you guys...?
    Bobby: Well, we're still working on that.
  • When Magneto breaks out of jail:
    Mitchell Laurio: Have a nice sleep, Lensherr?
    Magneto: There's something different about you today, Mr. Laurio.
    Mitchell Laurio: Yeah, I *was* having a good day.
    Magneto: (gets up) No, it's something else...
    Mitchell Laurio: Sit down.
    Magneto: No.
    Mitchell Laurio: (draws his club) I said, sit your ass down! (He starts for Magneto, who holds up his hand. Laurio stops forcibly and gasps) What are you doing?
    Magneto: Ah, there it is... (he lifts his hand, and Laurio lifts into the air) Too much iron in your blood! (he draws a cloud of iron particles out through Laurio's skin, and squeezes them into a set of ball bearings. Laurio collapses to the floor, unmoving) Mr. Laurio, never trust a beautiful woman, especially one who's interested in you.

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