Early in the Horde game, you get the quest of the Blackmaw Doublecross. It doesn't really matter what you say to sabotage the negotiations... but it's all funny.
Some of the Stop Poking Me the NPCs will give you. One of the best is one from the male draenei. "You require medication?" The accent sells it.
One of the wolf-mounted patrols that wander Durotar: "What's that smell? Ohhh! Bad dog!"
The newest race, Pandaren, really go the extra mile with the Stop Poking Me. It takes more pokes than you'd think (inner peace and all that), but when they get angry, they get ANGRY!
Another has Pandarens spending a couple minutes (far longer than any other Stop Poking Me quote) describing all the wonderous sights in Pandaria before saying.
Pandaren: What I am trying to say is, go away and bother someone else.
Li Li has some pretty good ones..."So I'm like 'What's up?' and you're like "I'm gonna poke you!" and I'm like 'Ok,' and you're like "I'm gonna poke you some more!"
The Klaxxi also have some amusing ones. At first they get angry at you and make the expected threats to your safety. Keep doing it, and they start begging you to stop.
The various /flirts can be quite hilarious as well.
Male Draenei's Mood Whiplash really sells theirs: "You know, I had a girlfriend, but I lost her in the crash. That is the bad news. The good news is, I'm available!"
Male Orcs: "You have six different smiles. One for when you're angry. One for when you tear flesh. One for when you chew flesh. One for when you loot bodies. One for when you skin game. And one for when you want to kill something."
Female Tauren: "I'm tired of the same old bull."
The little foot-fidget, when it's made by a seven-foot tauren female with hooves, is pretty funny too.
Male Pandarens have the best:
"I will sing for you, the love song, of my people... *rings dinner bell* COME AND GET IT!!!"
"Sweet thing, imma romance all three of your kingdoms... Meditate on that."
There are a number of non-combat pets with silly and/or hilarious animations, but my vote for funniest ever has to go to the Plump Turkey, obtained as a reward for completing the Pilgrim's Bounty holiday achievements. When near a cooking fire, the poor brainwashed bird takes a running jump into the fire and cooks itself.
The turkey narrowly supplants my other favorite, the Rocket Chicken, which is Exactly What It Says on the Tin, a robot chicken with huge rocket boosters strapped to its back. After warming itself up for a few minutes, the chicken will spontaneously launch itself skyward... and explode in a loud squawk and puff of feathers.
For Hunters only, but:
Step 1 - Get someone to shoot you with a Turkey Shooter.
Step 2 - Find an empty plate on one of the feast tables.
Step 3 - Feign Death.
Upon doing all of the following, you will become a roasted turkey sitting on a plate.
During Children's Week, you get to shepard around some orphans. Along the way, they make some random commentary, some of which is delightfully adorable and hilarious:
Dorna, the Draenei:
"Is the Twisting Nether shaped like a pretzel? And just what is a Nether? The orphan matron says I shouldn't ask people about their nethers..." "If a horse gets horseshoes, will I get draenei shoes?" "If the Burning Legion is such a problem why not just throw water on them? Then they'll just be a legion." "If I hold my breath, what color would I turn?"
Shalindria, the Blood Elf
"I bet ice cream would taste better if it were socketed!" "If the demons fell, where did they fall from?" "Would a tauren paladin be a holy cow?" "Boys have cooties and girls have beauty!"
"What does 'zug zug' mean?" "When lightning strikes the ocean why don't all the fish die?" "Would a fly without wings be called a walk?" "I have a rock in my nose."
If you try to fail and succeed, what did you just do? Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas. If overalls are held up by the snaps at the top, then why do they have belt loops?
Belbi's Eyesight Enhancing Romance Goggles, an Alliance head item obtainable during Brewfest which when equipped causes players and most humanoid NPCs to appear as male gnomes. The Horde equivalent, Blix's Eyesight Enhancing Romance Goggles, is arguably more hilarious since it causes them to appear as female orcs.
Among the many items with amusing descriptions in the game there's Queen Azshara's Dressing Gown, a garish cloth robe the description of which reads "The rumors of the Highborne's poor fashion sense seem to be true".
Amusingly, many players commenting on the item think it looks great, contrary to the ironic description!
Human Commoner: For the Horde! Human Commoner: You know... why do we celebrate this holiday?
One of the new masks introduced in 2011 is a murloc. Each race has two masks, one male and one female, but murlocs have no apparent gender, so the female mask looks exactly like the male mask except orange while the male mask is the traditional murloc green.
The female ogre mask has long eyelashes and lipstick, because nobody has ever seen a female ogre and Blizzard has no idea what they would look like (this is a bit of an in-joke; ogres were considered to be the new Horde race for Cataclysm, but Blizzard hit a brick wall designing the females and gave up).
More than a few quest names are funny moments all by themselves. Just a couple of examples include:
The Forsaken Blight and You: How Not to Die
Bros Before Hozen
Some of the /silly emotes are just funny, but the Tauren, usually serious and noble, are pretty dirty.
Tauren: You know how hard it is to get your groove on with the spirit of your Great Grandmother looking over you? Tauren: I once laughed so hard I milked all over the floor! Tauren: In my native tongue my name means "Dances with tassels!"
In true Blizzard fashion, Dataminers found information for a "Karazhan Restoration". The name gets Denser and Wackier every time it's changed, first into Medivh's Big Birthday Bash, then Karazhan 2: Eclectic Boogaloo and finally Medivh Presents Chessmaster: Illustrious Edition.
Classic Old World
The conversation with Azuregos in the epic Scepter of Ahn'Qiraj questline. It's just a "tiny minnow".
Azuregos's saga of sillyness continues post-Shattering, where he falls in love with a Spirit Healer of all things.
Here's a singing telegram for [you]! Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll kill any [race] I see, including you!
Way way way way waaaaaaay back in Classic, someone took out a pet with the "Living Bomb" debuff and didn't know that it paused the timer on it. So imagine everyone's shock when all of a sudden, every single person in the auction house had a mysterious "Click to resurrect" message wondering what on earth happened. It's hard to say where this first happened; but this happened to Horde and Alliance at around the same time.
One quest in the Redridge Mountains once rewarded you with a Dwarven Fishing Pole. It'sagun, and its description reads "Dwarves aren't known for their subtlety".
In Zul'Farrak, after defeating the trolls and saving Sergeant Bly and his men, he will refuse to even thank you for what you did, and you can call him out on it. He then will accuse you of threatening him (which is all the funnier considering that your fellow party members can't see your exchange with him), and then try to kill you, which will likely end in his and his men's deaths.
The quest "Blackhand's Command" that is required for entrance into Blackwing Lair, where the letter you got from the NPC you just killed shows how little Blackhand expected him to carry out his mission.
I hold very little faith in your ability to prevent outsiders from accessing the master's lair. In the very likely event of your death, this orb has its own failsafe built in to prevent outsiders from teleporting directly into Blackwing.
Only those with the Mark of Drakkisath branded upon their hand may make use of this orb. Thankfully, Drakkisath is not nearly as incompetent as you, Quartermaster. He guards the brand himself!
-Warchief Rend Blackhand
P.S. Destroy this letter, idiot.
The Burning Crusade
Kael'thas was originally a raidboss in Tempest Keep. Later he was revived as a 5 man boss. His monologue included "... Tempest Keep was merely a setback". From then on, "merely a setback" was a new meme in WoW circles.
Then we got the Blood Princes, 3 blood elves turned vampires who you could kill during leveling. When you first engage them, one says "Naxxanar was merely a setback".
Hogger, of all... people uses this line in Cataclysm. Glorious.
"By the foul teat of Kil'jaeden's rotted torso, the entire backside is blown out!"
In the blood elf starting zone, there's a quest where an apprentice mage asks you to find a spellbook in a river and tell his mentor you dropped it in a puddle so he won't take the heat. As righteous as you are, you tell the mentor the truth. He then asks you to discipline his two apprentices using a rod that polymorphs them into boars.
And even more fun is that based on their reactions, this is nothing new for them.
Similarly in the night elf starting zone there's a quest where a satyr has you gather items from the local wildlife. When the Council of the Forest hears about what you did you're sent to gather fel cones (pinecones containing fel magic) and give them to him. He eats them and gets polymorphed into a frog.
Millhouse Manastorm. Possibly the best gnome ever, even after you discover he's part of the Twilight's Hammer.
"Hahaha, alriiight! Who ordered up an extra large can of whoop-ass?"
When you fight him in the Stonecore he escapes from death three times and will let out a random line, one of which is "Prison taught me one very important lesson, well, two if you count how to hold your soap, but yes! SURVIVAL!" The last time he escapes he begins to cast "Impending Doooooom!", the spell description for which reads:
Delivers a strike so diabolical, it is unable to be described accurately in text. Affected targets will similarily be unlikely to have understood the full effect of this spell as its blinding brilliance washes over them like [a] tidal wave of devastation.
He never finishes casting it, since every time it reaches halfway he trips. Once you get close enough, he's interrupted as he and his allies are knocked away by the giant gyreworm that acts as the actual first boss.
He makes a reappearance for Brawlpub as a level 8 opponent. Naturally, Deepholm was merely a setback.
Archimonde has a spell named "Finger of Death". While this isn't funny by itself, the spell description reads:
Strikes an enemy with the finger of death, inflicting 20000 shadow damage upon them, their children, and their children's children.
For Alliance, one of the quests at Toshley's Station requires you to sign a waiver before submitting yourself to using a device to launch yourself into the air with mininal harm, which reads:
RELEASE DISCHARGE OF LIABILITY.
THE TEST PILOT IS FULLY AWARE AND ACKNOWLEDGES THERE IS A RISK OF INJURY, DISMEMBERMENT, OR DEATH IN THE FORM OF: PULVERIZATION, ELECTROCUTION, BLUNT FORCE TRAUMA TO VITAL ORGANS, CONSUMPTION BY INDIGENOUS FAUNA, OR TIME/SPACE PARADOXYSM DURING USE OF THE ZEPHYRIUM CAPACITORIUM (THE "DEVICE"). TEST PILOT HEREBY ELECTS TO VOLUNTARILY ENTER INTO THE DEVICE AND ASSUME ALL THE ABOVE RISKS.
TEST PILOT AGREES TO WAIVE, RELEASE AND DISCHARGE ANY AND ALL CLAIMS FOR INJURY OR DAMAGE AGAINST TALLY ZAPNABBER AND HIS FAMILY, AND IN THE EVENT OF <HIS/HER> DEATH, AGREES TO DONATE <HIS/HER> REMAINS TO THE ZAPNABBER ESTATE FOR STUDY.
Wrath of the Lich King
Drakuru's questline in Grizzly Hills, specifically the final quest where he asks you to summon him to Drak'Tharon Keep. The quest itself isn't really that funny, but the reaction of everyone in the dungeon group when the Lich King steps out of the portal is simply priceless. Too bad everything from there's a bit of an anti-climax.
The books in the Death Knight starting zone. Subjects include, Scourge table manners, a nutritional handbook for zombies, a Scourge-written romance novel, four journals written by a new Death Knight, retelling his perspective of both Scholomance and Stratholme, lampshading how idiotic and crazy the bosses of both areas are, and also that he was being hit on by a Nerubian, and finally a book listing new Death Knights, including Harmony, who was "struck down because her name was against Scourge decency."
The Death Knights of Acherus updates itself the farther into the starting zone you get, with the bit about Harmony getting the addendum "The ashes of Harmony are to be disposed of in a human outhouse, the Lich King takes his names very seriously."
Mysteries of the Infinite, along with its sequel. In the first, your future self appears to help you, and then it turns out that you are in a time loop, and must aid your past self (aka you from the first part). Both your future and past selves are quite snarky and hang quite a few lampshades.
The Winterfin Murlocs in Northrend, who all have their names in gibberish to reference their incomprehensible language. They also have their own version of Demoralizing Shout, amusingly named Demoralizing Mmmrrrggglll.
One of the quest givers in the Murloc area is a ... scientist of some sort ... doing research on Murloc society. He is wearing a verycrummy Murloc costume (the same one given to players at BlizzCon 2007), complete with visible seams, googly eyes and a big, blatant zipper on the back. It's hard to say what's funnier, the costume itself, or the fact that the Murlocs he's studying don't realize it's a costume (then again, Murlocs don't seem to be that smart).
A lot of things you can interact with on the upper floor of Acherus tend to be silly. For example, a book containing information and whereabouts of certain Death Knights that changes as you progress through the quest line. It contains, among other anomalies:
A Death Knight who was turned into the ghoul minion of another Death Knight and retained his excellent cooking abilities.
One Alliance quest chain in Grizzly Hills starts with the player eating some amberseeds out of a bucket. When they want more, the NPC they turn to tells them how vital the seeds were and that he needs them back before you digest them. Take a wild guess how you get them out of your system. I'll give you a hint; it's not the same way they entered.
Even better if you stick around after you're done. The NPC you give the seeds to after you've finished your... business then turns to another NPC and hands him the seeds telling him to do the usual with them. The response?
"I know, I know, back in the bucket."
Overlapping with Video Game Cruelty Potential, Death Knights have a spell in the Unholy talent tree called Corpse Explosion (removed in Cataclysm but now available in Mists of Pandaria with a minor glyph), which as the name implies causes dead mobs (except mechanicals and elementals due to them being inorganic) and players to explode leaving behind chunks of flesh or a ribcage.
You were also previously able to cast it on your ghoul minions and turn them into suicide bombers.
As a druid, one of the funniest things ever is the Gunship Battle in ICC. Why? Rocket bears.
One of the Death Knight starting zone quests has you collect skulls of Scarlet Crusaders and New Avalon citizens for Noth the Plaguebringer. When he asks you if you notice anything missing from the pumpkin patch he's standing in front of he snidely tells you "Of course you don't, because you're a moron! Your brain was probably the first thing to die." Made funnier by this being during a particularly dark quest chain.
For player-induced DK silliness, the Acherus Deathcharger sub-chain first requires you to steal a Scarlet Crusade horse. You can either steal an adult horse or you can steal a foal, which becomes epically hilarious if you're playing as a larger race like an orc or tauren.
Later in Ulduar, we get the XT-002's creator, Mimiron, who sports some of the best quotes in the game. What else would you expect from a demigod in the form of a giant clockwork gnome?
Doing some of the quests in Grizzly Hills as a worgen can be unintentionally entertaining. Worgen are werewolves. Before the Cataclysm expansion, they were not a playable race, and one questline has you fighting against the mindless cursed ones. Now that worgen can be players...
NPC: Did they bite you? DID THEY BITE YOU?! Worgen PC: Woof?
Patch 4.0.3a changed a good chunk of the quests for the old world, and some of the new content is glorious.
Also in that area is Deep Mine Rescue. This is your commander's response upon saving Dumass:
"Ever heard the saying survival of the fittest? What you're doing conflicts with natural law."
Similarly you have Get Me Outta Here. The reaction from the local commander is pretty much the same. (For the details, check further down.)
A post-Cataclysm quest chain in the Thousand Needles area involves running around and freeing a bunch of captured baby wyverns, called pridelings. For a while after freeing them, they'll follow you around. The quest chain eventually has you taking on the Jerkass responsible for ordering the pridelings trapped. When you finally find him, and work him down to about 10% health the pridelings you freed earlier swarm him, pick him up, and throw his ass off a cliff. Even the quest giver thinks that's a hoot.
There is a discovered quest in the Vashj'ir zone truly called "A Case of Crabs". You find a case of crab meat and take it back to a stranded NPC, the item itself has the flavor text of "An unexpected find" and the NPC thanks you for your thoughtful present and that if anyone questions your character they will tell them that in her moment of need, you gave her a case of crabs. Your reward for this selfless endeavor is a "finely toothed comb".
And after that, she offers three more quests: A Girl's Best Friend (she has lost the items her previous "suitors" have given her and you must go find them), A Taste for Tail (collecting the tails of lobster-like monsters for food) and, finally, Ophidophobia (she tells you kill sea serpents because she can't stand snakes). While the last one would not be so bad on its own, by the time you can get it your mind is probably so deep in the gutter that you just can't look at it quite right. A Girl's Best Friend also gets bonus points because of the quest text saying that she's "no stranger to love".
In the goblin starter area there's a quest where you free goblins captured by pirates by... attaching rockets to the cages to make them fly to town. Some of them when you attach the rockets yell "The pirates have the keys!". Sure enough after killing a pirate you may loot a key... as vendor trash. The flavor text even says "We don't need no stinkin' keys!"
And at the end of the Lost Isles, if you wait on the dock long enough, eventually the goblins you launched will fall back onto the boat...frozen in blocks of ice from having flown into low orbit.
The very first quest you get for a goblin character involves taking a "surprise" from your assistant to the foreman in appreciation for his hard work. He gleefully opens the package as soon as you give it to him and it turns out to be a bomb. Pretty much tells you everything you need to know about goblins, right there.
This joke, which fits Goblin Rogues perfectly:
Goblin: Yeah, so she told me to tie her up and do whatever I wanted to her. So I took her stereo.
The Uldum quest 'Gnomebliteration' will probably end up being this for anyone who isn't big on the race. I'm not going to spoil it, but I advise everyone to do it (the chain starts with this quest). Guaranteed to be aball.
One of the prerequisites to 'Gnomebliteration' requires you to distract corrupted gnomes with a device that's supposed to manifest holographs of their suppressed "adolescent fantasies". As the tooltip says, "[t]his ought to prove interesting". One of them: An undead rock star standing atop a devilsaur (i.e. giant T-Rex)...in turn standing atopa shark...that's equipped with thrusters and a plasma cannon mounted on its head. Beta testers for Cataclysm had a lot of fun manifesting this character throughout Azeroth.
The undead rock star riding a dinosaur riding a rocket-powered laser shark was originally added to the Maelstrom area in the Cataclysm beta, when testers said the maelstrom wasn't "epic enough". The shark is called "Epicus Maximus, Paragon of Epicosity", the T-Rex is called "And a Dinosaur", and the rider is called "ROCK ON".
With the addition of Brawlpub, Epicus Maximus makes a reappearance as one of the level 8 opponents. The lasershark's now robotic, but it's still a paragon of epicosity.
Baby turtles are sweet, even if they can be somewhat bitey. <Mylune holds up a bandaged finger.> But they're so slow with their tiny little legs, they can't escape the fire creatures who are attacking Hyjal! <Mylune claps her hands together.> PLEASE save them, <name>! Pick up the wee turtles and punt them into the water of the Ashen Lake. Don't worry about the kicking, they have hard shells. They also have hard teeth, so don't pick them up by the mouth.
Also from Hyjal is Kristoff Manheim, who was sent into an ogre cave to research the Eye of Twilight and who you encounter hanging from a chain.
Player: So how is your researching coming along? Kristoff: <name>. Can I call you <name>? I am hanging from a meathook in the back of an ogre cave. How do you THINK my research is progressing, you pompous dirt-sucking ass-<class>? C'mere! C'mere you son of a swineheard! <Kristoff flutters back and forth on his chain, trying desperately to kick you in the face>
When you retrieve the key to his chain but opt not to immediately free him:
Player: Um, no. Would you mind hanging out a little longer? I have some stuff to take care of first. Kristoff: You... WHAT? Come over here and say that! <Kristoff kicks and flails his limbs in a frothing rage, his head twisting around to glare at you.> So help me, I will - I am going to - I will knock your brains out! I will fill the empty cavity left behind with my boot! Come here! GET BACK HERE! <Kristoff strains to grasp your neck, his fingers wriggling inches from your face.>
And, finally, when you turn in the last quest, informing the person who sent him into the cave in the first place of the rescue:
Royce Duskwhisper:' Kristoff, Kristoff... Oh yes I remember now. I recall sending him on what amounted to a suicide mission. He survived? I suppose that means he failed.
Getting the turtle mount from the trading card game (which doesn't increase your movement speed at all), and going around a capital city singing "Slow ride! Take it easy!"note A sea turtle (which increases movement speed in water, but not on land, and is obtained through fishing) will also work.
By the time you get to the Cho'gall encounter in Bastion of Twilight, you will likely have become somewhat tired of his long-winded speeches, with the (insane and possessed) "Gall" head continually interrupting the "Cho" head to make rambling declarations of doom and chaos. Well, when you get to the room where you actually fight Cho'gall, his introductory speech shows that Cho is getting as fed up with Gall as you are, because he tells himself several times to just shut the hell up and stop interrupting him...self.
The rare spawn in Western Plaguelands, Scarlet Judge, has an aggro of "I judge you.... DELICIOUS!"
Upon handing in the quest "Mystery of the Sarcen Stone" in Azshara, Malynea Skyreaver has a short conversation with Custer Clubnik.
Malynea: Did you hear that, Clubnik? Those that died defending Lake Mennar are heroes. Their selfless actions may have even saved this entire world! A memorial should be erected. Clubnik: Sure, I hear ya. Howsabout a... Memorial Fuel Depot? It'll be very tasteful! Malynea: Clubnik? I hope you die. In a fire.
In the revamped Zul'Gurub, Bloodlord Mandokir (As part of his fight mechanic) will one-shot a player and level up, having since apparently become aware of how leveling works, he goes...
Mandokir: Ding! Jin'Do (the final boss, heard from the distance): 'Ey! Gratz mon!
The "leveling" mechanic was part of the original Mandokir fight as well (and yes, he did sometimes say "Ding!"). Don't think Jin'Do's response was, though.
The Butcherbot in Tanaris is possibly the most hilariously disturbing thing in the game. It's a little robot with claws that you're supposed to call to butcher freshly killed animals. While it's doing this, it yells things like,
"Yaaaaaaaaaaay!" "Chop chop chop!" "I want the arterieeeeeeeees!"
Chromie's reaction to seeing Mannoroth being pulled through the Well of Eternity and back into the Twisting Nether.
"Sorry we're late, did we miss anythi—Oh wow!"
A rare-spawn graverobber in Duskwood lampshades the fact that graverobbers like her are considered scum, but your looting corpses is totally OK.
You help a goblin priest (who airdrops in via parachute) exorcize a "haunted tractor" in Azshara. Unfortunately you both get the tractor destroyed... and yet, the priest still tells you to remind the owner about the bill for the exorcism services.
Maximillian of Northshire is a blowhard knight in Un'Goro Crater, who hires you as his squire. You join him as he helps three fair maidens... (by chucking one off a cliff to save her from being trapped, killing another's pet bird because it was an "evil phoenix", and retrieving the purse of the last one, a very insulted male blood elf) Later, you help him slay evil "dragons" (dinosaurs) until you anger the "Dragon Queen" (actually the Devilsaur Queen) and are forced to flee her wrath on Maximillian's horse... and try to defeat her by chucking rocks, which doesn't work out so well. Eventually, Maximillian gets desperate and takes off his armor until he's down to his boxers... and asks you to chuck the armor at the rampaging dinosaur For Massive Damage.
During the earth segment of the Elemental Bonds questline, Aggra gets frustrated when Thrall's only response to her pleas for help is "We are patient."
Aggra: He did NOT just say that. — Aggra: Oh, don't tell ME to be patient, you green-skinned...
The reasoning for the quest you get after being attacked by an eel in Kelp'thar Forest, and essentially give yourself a quest to kill them because fuck eels.
Eels are among the creepiest of Azeroth's creatures. Sure, there are those who pretend that they don't mind them - and others who actually claim to favor them. They are lying. Truth be told, no one likes eels. Eels don't even like eels. Azeroth would be a better place if no one ever had to envision an eel slithering out from the murky depths and biting them. In the face.
The best part is that you give yourself gold as your reward. Somehow.
You do two similar quests in Uldum with hyenas and vultures, whom are much more likely to have previously sparked your ire.
(On inspecting the Furlbrow murder scene, including the death of Old Blanchy) "Looks like they really put the cart ... before the horse."
And, yes, he does don a pair of sunglasses before delivering the punchline each time.
During the Axis of Awful quest in the now mostly drained Loch Modan, the player is given supplies and instructions to spy on a meeting between local murloc leaders and representatives from the local gnoll and kobold groups. In order to arrive at this meeting undetected, you're given a makeshift bush under which to hide.
Almost as awesome is the Firefly shout-out that occurs when the meeting is finally sabotaged.
An Alliance quest in Twilight Highlands sends you to kill a pair of two headed ogres. You cut off their heads figuring the questgiver will want proof of their demise (like always). Instead, he peers into the bag you give him and says (paraphrased)
The Horde intro quest for Stonetalon Peak has a couple of sergeants talking when this gem comes up:
Utvoch: "You know I can't resist tauren women Donty. They're my one weakness."
Dontrag: "You're a sick sick orc Ut."
Herbalists can find Livegiving Seeds that can be used to disguise themselves as a plant. It's not entirely useless since it restores health and mana over time, and it does change the character model into an herb... with the player's name and guild still prominently displayed. More or less an inversion of Paper-Thin Disguise, as the disguise actually looks pretty convincing otherwise, but it's not actually going to fool anyone who has name tags displayed. Even more hilarious if that herb is somewhere you would *never* find it in the wild, like on well-maintained decorative stone, or Azshara's Veil/Stranglekelp anywhere but in or near water.
One of the revamped quests in Loch Modan has you collect Bear Rumps.
When travelling to the Twilight Highlands for the first time, a Horde player has to wait for the zeppelin to arrive. During the wait, a pair of engineers give you a rundown of various features of the zeppelin and safety protocols. Of course, they are goblins... This exchange occurs around the two-minute mark:
Hobart Grapplehammer: Should your zeppelin be attacked en-route, panic is inadvisable. Instead, look for a number of deck-mounted flak cannons positioned for just such an emergency. Assistant Greely: Nothing keeps a fleet of combustible dirigibles safer than randomly flinging molten metal in every conceivable direction! [proceeds to demonstrate the flak cannons] Hobart: Simply aim and pull the trigger. Or don't aim. I wash my hands of the whole thing. Greely: I can hit my house from here! Hobart: Greely, you're not randomly firing that thing into Bilgewater Port, are you? Greely: No. Maybe. A little.
Finally the zeppelin does arrive, and the goblins send you off with the following:
The way that Chen replaces the torch is worth a laugh too. He puts it back on the pedestal it was on...then adjusts it, causing it to make a cartoonish "squeak!" noise. This is all done with a very serious expression on his face.
The best part is that he replaces the torch and adjusts it with the end of his staff without ever so much as glancing at it.
You can then find the same spot in the Jade Forest, where the torch is askew again. And fix it for an achievement. With the same squeak.
One of the new minor glyphs introduced in MoP grants Priests the Confession ability, which as its name implies makes a friendly target confess a random secret. See them all here.
A minor, often overlooked one from the Nectarbreeze Orchard storyline of the Jade Forest. One of the quests involve you spitting cider to put out fires. You can also spit cider on the Mogu you fight in the Orchards, and they either respond with "Argh!! It stings!" or "My eyes! The goggles do nothing!!"
One of the quests in the Krasarang Wilds involves retrieving a Pandaren affected by magic-induced Wangst. You find that he's lying a ways away from the village, waiting for the thunderbirds (giant vultures) to take him. That's not the funny part; the funny part is how you get him back. After trying to inspire him, he continues to refuse to move, and the dialogue option changes to "I don't have time for this. Move your ass or I'll move it for you". Thus, you literally kick him all the way back to town, while fighting off the thunderbirds. At one point, he pukes from rolling so much.
He's rooting for the thunderbirds.
The quest "Li Li's Day Off". The quest involves you escorting smart-mouthed young Li Li to several landmarks. If you wish, you can also take a full tour of the zone. She comments on other landmarks as well. In addition, you also have several quests to do near the three quest-required landmarks. Li Li also has comments on those. Highlights include the muddy water quest (and the fact that you can't avoid splashing her with it), and her taunting the giant turtle.
Her comments about a quest to retrieve some dreamleaf are doubly hilarious if your character is a herbalist (to get the latter dialogue, you have to have a certain level of herbalism, otherwise she chides you for "manhandling" the bush and asks if you have ever picked an herb before).
Li Li: Wait a minute, so now we need to go pick a flower for these guys? Seems kinda girly. Player: ... Li Li:Player Name, you picked that flower like a champion! You're like a... a professional flower-picker! Have you done this before? Player: MUST...SUPPRESS...RAGE...
And the fact that Chen blithely leaves his young niece to be essentially baby-sat by you has some potential for dark hilarity. Your character could be anywhere on the alignment spectrum depending on how/if you roleplay, from a noble and spiritual shaman to a baby-eating warlock (or vice-versa!). Of course, Chen is a martial arts expert Badass that makes Po look like Wimp Lo, so woe betide any who try to harm his family...
The Horde version of meeting Cho is mostly serious, reflecting on the trials and nature of your race, but if you're a goblin, your ancestor spirits appear wrapped in fire "Oh my... it seems most of your ancestors died in a fire." Cho doesn't know what to make of it, but very quickly puts together that it means goblins sacrifice their personal safety for innovation, his tone trying very hard to not make it seem like a backhanded insult.
Several books around Pandaria tell quaint little stories. One in particular has a monk and a farmhand playing a question game. If the monk can't answer the farmhand's question, he pays 50g. If the farmhand can't answer the monk's, he pays 5g. The farmhand asks, "What has the heart of a tiger, the wisdom of an eagle, and the strength of an ox?" The monk tries for hours but in the end pays the farmhand his 50g. Afterwards he asks, "What was the answer to your riddle?" The farmhand responds by handing back 5g.
One NPC in the Vale of Eternal Blossoms complains to the player about a Pandaren insisting that feeling negative emotions is a very bad idea in Pandaria. If the player points out that a Pandaren knows more about the land than he does, he'll respond,
NPC: What do you know? You act like you're the savior of Azeroth? Player: *Glances up at Savior of Azeroth title overhead.*
With Skeer the Bloodseeker, he wants to research his regenerative powers via trauma induction, tissue samples, and "a session of micro-sonic deep-gene probing. Nothing terribly invasive!"
Skeer the Bloodseeker: What was that last part? Rik'kal the Dissector: Tissue samples? Skeer the Bloodseeker: After that. Rik'kal the Dissector: Nothing terribly invasive? Skeer the Bloodseeker: We are done talking.
With Kaz'tik the Manipulator, he gets too eager in wanting to research Kaz'tik's pet kunchong Kovok, so he simply reminds him that Rik'kal probably has no protection against sonic manipulation, and that he could make Rik'kal perform invasive surgeryon himself if he continues pestering him. Rik'kal promptly shuts up.
Rik'kal's daily quest "Putting An Eye Out" opens with him asking the player for help followed by him saying under his breath "(You will help me, or else I will help myself to you!)" Naturally, this isn't the only time that they threaten to eat you.
A minor laugh, but the quest "The Emperor" starts off similarly like the one where you helped a dwarf make a jungle alcoholic drink in the Nesingwary basecamp in Sholazar Basin. Then...
Chen Stormstout: Very well, <player>. I will need your help making this beer. When I yell out the names of the ingredients, you throw them into the pot... AHAHAHA!! I am kidding! I am the best brewer across three continents! I think I can handle this part. Mudmug: DAMN STRAIGHT YA CAN!
Stormstout Brewery. A dungeon in which even the ghosts are drunk off their asses. Among the highlights:
The first room, in which the ghost of an old lady thinks Chen Stormstout is someone else and tries to offer him cookies. Chen tries to explain... and then accepts one cookie.
...which, after a moment (at which point most groups have started on the trash), he realizes is a ghost cookie and is not filling at all.
A Hozen dance party going on in the first section. After you defeat the Hozen boss, the rest begin a dance party in your honor as the new Ook.
After the second boss you begin fighting elemental creatures made of beer called Alementals.
The above-mentioned drunk-off-their-ass ghosts' response to those Alementals:
Then the final boss of the place, a series of Alementals created by the Cloudcuckoolander Uncle Gao, ending in "Yan-Zhu the Uncasked."
The dialogue between Uncle Gao and Chen Stormstout at the end.
Chen Stormstout: Uncle Gao, this brewery was left in your care! What have you done? Uncle Gao: You again? Don't you see? I have made a name for myself at last. I have brewed perfection! Chen Stormstout: At what cost? The brewery is trashed! Infested! Uncle Gao: Details, details. Chen Stormstout: And there are Virmen in the main store! Uncle Gao: Look, "Chen Stormstout," we can't all be heroes, running from our responsibilities, tromping around the Dread Wastes, saving the world. Some of us are "Artists." Chen Stormstout: I think the brewery might be on fire. Uncle Gao:Yes, yes. That happens.
One final boss of the Xuen series of August Celestial dailies is the P.U.G., a trio of sauroks consisting of a healer ("Healiss") a tank ("Tankiss") and a rogue ("Hackiss"). They constantly blame each other when things go wrong, and Xuen's comment that strength in numbers is a respectable idea when properly executed is an amusing Take That to poorly organized PUGs.
Hackiss also parodies the typical greedy player by constantly trying to pickpocket anything in sight.
One of the Klaxxi daily quests is to destroy spider eggs with a flamethrower. If you accept the quest then talk to the questgiver again, he asks "I don't have to explain how to use that, do I? You point the scary end at something that isn't burning, and you FIX THE PROBLEM."
Bonus hilarity if you know that the quest name ("Nope Nope Nope") is a Memetic Mutation regarding how the appropriate response to a spider in your house is to burn the house to the ground.
Sho's note, which can be found at her usual spot on the days she's in Halfhill. Doubles as Heartwarming Moment.
If you find this note, then I am either dead or at Halfhill market. Hopefully I have temporarily left my post to enjoy a mug of ale in town. Perhaps you should go check, just in case. If indeed I have failed my mission, please send my love and effects to my family in Zhu's Watch. -Sho
At the end of the Alliance Pandaren quest-line, you can spar with Varian. When you hit him, a cutscene ensues with Varian slowly tumbling onto his back. The look on Aysa and Jojo's faces with jaws dropped. Possibly due to the way the models worked, this ended up looking hilariously◊ derpy.◊ Particularly that second one.
One quest on the Wandering Isle has you burning pandaren scrolls that the hozen have written their own "wisdoms" on. The hozen have written some incredibly odd morals, such as
Peel banana first, eat second.
Wet fur not fun to sleep on.
Don't roll in own poo unless you want to smell like poo all day.
Steal a banana from a hozen, expect an angry hozen.
In the Dread Wastes, you come across a prophecy of doom while helping some traveling brewers in the area. While one member of that group accepts the prophecy for what it is and has you collect the necessary MacGuffins, the rest of them assume it's a beer recipe and send you ingredient hunting at the same time. The brew doesn't turn out so good.
Han Stormstout, named after Star Wars character Han Solo and is found encased in a chunk of amber referencing the latter being encased in carbonite in The Empire Strikes Back. When Chen finds him he assumes he's dead, but when you complete the above storyline you can pour the failed beer on him to break him out. He wakes up confused, then pukes and falls asleep.
In the "Cloak of Virtue" quest, after Wrathion has had to sit through all four August Celestials telling him about their virtue, and in particular comparing their understanding of it with his, he has this to say.
Wrathion: Excellent work with the celestials. Can you believe how chatty they were? I just wanted them to hand us our reward, but they were just, "talk talk talk talk talk."
Also, when speaking with Niuzao about "fortitude".
Wrathion: So, strength is developed on the outside, and fortitude is developed from within? Niuzao: Precisely. Wrathion: ...Sure. I knew that. Niuzao: Hmhmhmhm, of course you did.
At the end of the quest chain after you've defeated Garrosh, Wrathion is furious that Varian did not use the opportunity to wipe out the Horde as he'd anticipated. His rant is interrupted by resident innkeeper Tong the Fixer, who delivers an epic verbal smackdown which Wrathion refuses to listen to. Tong reacts to Wrathion's dramatic exit with the calm Understatement we've come to expect from the pandaren:
Tong the Fixer: He destroyed my inn. He left no tip. He is not nice.
In the Valley of the Four Winds, there's a hozen questgiver who tells you that the local virmen tried to start their own farms, but, not being clear on the concept, tried to plant the farm equipment. Just from this dialogue, you get the understanding that the virmen's unintelligence gives both gnolls and troggs a run for their money.
Shortly after, you're asked to recover some vegetables stolen by virmen from one of the farmers. The virmen are using the turnips for target practice (they reallyDo Not Like Turnips), and the watermelons as buoys and boats. When you return the vegetables to the farmer, he sees the bruising on them and asks, "what were they doing with these?"
Li Li exploits the virmen's hatred of turnips later, by painting them orange and disguising them as carrots. The virmen's reaction to finding the "carrots"—and then to the revelation they're actually turnips—is quite the sight to behold.
Before that, you're asked to gather the components for an orange dye to paint the turnips. This is accomplished by combining the coloring of marigolds...and animal blood. Li Li, of course, has something to say about this:
And then she goes and makes the dye anyway, chuckling as she does so.
When you first meet Koro Mistwalker in the Krasarang Wilds you can see he's holding a saurok by the neck.
The Kunzen Collector mob in the Valley of the Four Winds is a hozen wearing a stylish hat which is accompanied by a buff saying that it's most likely stolen, and they also have a debuff where they steal your pants appropriately called "Gimme Pants!"
Another example of gnoll (un)intelligence with Captain Ripflesh in Kun-Lai Summit: when he's at half health, he hides in a barrel and attempts to use a mirror image attack, which is triggering several decoys and he tells you to try to find the real one. After a brief pause, during which most players doing this quest for the first time will be confused, he leaps out from one of the barrels and when slain asks how did you know which was real.
The decoys in question are purchased from the Darkmoon Faire; when you loot his body you'll find a bill of sale with a disclaimer saying that their effectiveness depends on the intelligence of the target and is not warranted for use against humanoids, dragonkin, or anything else semi-sentient. The price of the decoys is shown to be 60g 20s 300c, ergo they conned him into paying an extra 3 silver.
The Story Breadcrumbs to the Valley of the Four Winds (Sending the player to meet Chen and Li Li): "A traveler came through here recently. He told a better story than Pan, drank twice as much as Lee, then beat me up in front of the bar. All while his little niece made fun of us. It was awesome."
When you plant a new crop in Sunsong Ranch, it will face some random problem such as being dry or infested with insects that you'll have to solve before it can grow. The funniest is when a tendril grows out of the soil and you have to wrestle it by using the Flex command until you have 50 stacks of Dominance, while also biting it whenever it tries to slam you into the ground.
Both of the quests with Bluesaddle and his Cousin Bag-of-Rocks. In Niuzao Temple Bluesaddle thinks that the temple staff will trade in defective yaks and he asks that you see for yourself how unruly the yak is. You have to attempt to pet it, feed it, nudge it (you have no animation for such an action, so your unarmed and kick animations play instead), and mount it, all while the yak-keeper is arguing with him behind you, then when you're done the yak-keeper tells him that he can find yaks at a nearby lake. Bag-of-Rocks then points out that they could've gotten a new yak in Kun-Lai.
The following quest has you helping Bluesaddle find a good yak. The yaks will attack you until you find the right one, and they all have prefixes attached to their names which also give them certain abilities: Mean, Smelly, Angry, and Stabby, then eventually they get multiple prefixes coming to a head at Mean, Smelly, Angry, Stabby, Very Bad Townlong Yak.
Foreman Mann's dialogue during the Greenstone Quarry storyline after she hands you her first quest, which shows that she's really not good at creative dialogue:
When the player completes the farming daily for the August Celestials, a student will come by and pick up the Striped Melons that the player grew and comment "I just love the sound they make when they explode!"
During Master Bruised Paw's storyline he at one point sends you to steal eggs from the birds on a nearby hill, with 10 eggs from terns, 4 eggs from cranes, and 1 giant egg from a large purple strider. During your third Training Montage it's shown that the tern and crane eggs were so he can eat them and so he can throw them at you while you trained, while the strider egg was so you can break it open yourself. After you do, another strider comes and repeatedly knocks him down and your character runs offscreen.
In the Siege of Orgrimmar raid, the path between the second and third bosses has two trash mobs representing vanity and zeal. They both have a 10-second stun that causes the target to become self-absorbed and entranced by their own reflection.
The Trial of the King fight in Mogu'shan Palace, which shows that one of the reasons the mogu are so easily defeated is their open distrust of each other; the boss is a trio of warring mogu clan leaders who fight the dungeon group to prove to Xin the Weaponmaster why they're the superior clan. When you've defeated the leaders of all three clans, the Gurthan leader Kuai the Brute accuses Clan Harthak and Kargesh of hiring the group to disrupt the peace. The Harthak leader Ming the Cunning accuses Gurthan of pointing fingers and the Kargesh leader Haiyan the Unstoppable sides with Gurthan, then Kuai assumes that Ming and Haiyan are secretly in league with each other and a fight between the armies of the three clans breaks out.
In July 2014, Blizzard released a Deleted Scene of the opening cinematic showing what the human and the orc did after Chen kicked their ass: get hammered.
Warlords of Draenor
A test item in the alpha is a legendary two-handed mace called Fudgehammer, with a tooltip saying that it's the weapon of Rend Blackhand and its legendary status is derived from its name and not its power, as its only stat is +2 Attack Power.
One placeholder item being literally called Placeholder, Blessed Holder of Places.
Mounts in the player's collection now have flavor text. One in particular for the Crimson Primal Direhorn sold by the Sunreaver Onslaught:
Leave it to the blood elves to pick the red one.
Lost time is never found again. Oh, never mind I found it. -Chronormu