"This world has three different kind of ponies: Pegasi, that can fly! Unicorns, able of do magic! And Earth Ponies, masters of... (pause)... ummm... yeah, bit of a problem here, eh? Heck, they don't even have their special name: they are just "ponies" with something glued to it!"
"They get roped to the tree, but thankfully Twilight can teleport them out and go back to following Spike (nothing happens). Can teleport them out and go back to following Spike (nothing). Teleport out. (nothing) TELEPORT, DAMMIT!!!
"And even if this is a situation with a giant dragon threatening her friends Fluttershy doesn't use her "Stare" because... I guess it's Earth Ponies' day, where you don't use your special ability to make them feel better about themselves!"
"Spike arrives to the volcano where the dragons stopped to rest! And is now the times to see how many gender stereotypes this gender stereotypes-defying show will dare to play completely straight.
When he lampshades how the teenage dragons are a clear Take That toward those who don't like the show.
"Yeah,that will teach you critics to have an opinion...emh, I mean, this will teach you nasty dragons to harm innocent eggs!"
A Friend In Deed
After witnessing Pinkie's musical number:
"And no! I don't care if the music is good! It's still a three and a half minute waste of time song in an annoying voice that doesn't serve any purpose. So what, Pinkie likes smiles? Did they really think we've forgotten about that? I mean, if you have managed to forget about Pinkie (voice becomes desperate)Please, tell me how you did it! I'll pay you!"
Random Stuff Part II
He wants to know what is his greatest fear, so he takes a look in King Sombra's crystal: a scene from "Too Many Pinkie Pie appears.
It's even funnier because he admitted that "Too Many Pinkie Pie" is the only episode he didn't watch because of its plot.
A Canterlot Wedding
Saying that he loved Twilight's goofy look after reading the letter. "It's like if even she didn't know him!"
His comment about the giant force field around Canterlot.
"That's right, no freeloaders at MY wedding! The force field lets pass only those with a present!"
When he see the first images of the episode, where Spike is not shown entirely.
"What's up with these shots? I mean, are we really supposed to be surprised at the reveal that is Spike? Because it's clearly Spike! "Spike appears." Oh my god, it was Spike!"
His reaction when he realizes that everything that happened after Celestia asked them to retrieve the Elements Of Harmony, including the fight scene he really liked, was completely pointless since they are captured and brought back to the queen.
Time Raider: Did you hear it? It's Doctor Doof laughing at you because you are a crappy villain!
Spike At Your Service
How he introduces the episode:
Time Raider: "This is the story that a thousand monkeys would write in a thousand years...by using their butts!"