- "Maybe he doesn't answer to Chuck, call him Charles. Charles!"
- The Exxon Valdez's oil reserve tankman's reaction when he sees the flare the Mariner dropped down a pipe is about to land in a pool of oil in the reserve.
- Oil Reserve Tankman: Oh thank god.
- When Helen asks about FOOD!!!
- Related: the Mariner offering Enola an eyeball from the whalephin and then drinking from it and eating it, much to her squickness.
Deacon: Y'ever hear any of your friends talk about [the mark on your back]? Like your mom? Or your pet fish?Enola: You shouldn't make fun of him. He doesn't like it.Deacon: I don't give a shit what he'd like! He took out my eye! And if I ever see him again, I'm gonna cut open his head, and I'm gonna EAT HIS BRAIN! ...You think he'd like that?
- "Well, I'll be, it's the gentleman guppy. Y'know, he is like a turd that won't flush!"
- "My boat."
- "Well, that made a hole."