- Many of the treasures and their descriptions. Here are a few:
Back Massage Coupon: "A fine, fine gift from a loved one, but a terrible, terrible gift from anyone else. If a stranger gives you one, it's probably a scam. Best to run away."Fishin' Hole Fishin' Pole: "This magic fishing pole will catch a fish every time you dip it in the water! But only crappie. Which actually taste better than they sound."Grizzled Prospector Candy: "These lovingly handmade candies contain large pieces of real gold. Give them to your beloved and watch the teeth fly."Spectacles of the Fool: "Diamond-encrusted specs that are rumored to doom the wearer to a lifetime of suffering, misery, and woe. The diamonds are also kind of pokey and uncomfortable."Jurrasic Snot: "This big hunk of dino nose goo was excavated from a giant nostril at the price of millions of dollars and three failed marriages. Don't ask about the details."Haunted Television: "A haunted ectoplasma TV that features outstanding picture quality, unbelievable surround sound,and murderous poltergeists bent on revenge.