Funny: War Horse

  • After the English (Colin) and German (Peter) soldiers meet in no-man's-land, Colin tries to compliment Peter's English:
    Colin: You speak good English.
    Peter: I speak English well.
    • From the same scene, after a coin flip: "I see the face of my Kaiser. He is not pleased with me right now."
    • Also, the response Peter gets when he asks for more wire cutters.
    • In the play version, they don't even speak a common language, so they stumble and pantomime through the scene, which is capped off with the allied soldier proclaiming (quite passionately) that: "There would be a lot less cryin' widows in the world if blokes would just talk to each other like you and I have!" The german soldier is very confused, and simply extends his hand and gives his name as Manfred. To which the allied soldier responds: "Same to you!"
  • The comparison between Italian food and Italian women.
  • The French girl trying to teach Joey to leap.
  • The goose trying to get in the house at every opportunity. And also chasing the Landlord out the gate.
  • The English and Germans in their respective trenches - both sides trying to call Joey to them before they realize he is tangled up in barbed wire.
    English soldier: How do you call a horse?
    Another English soldier: *begins clicking his tongue*
    Entire English line: *begin clicking their tongues*
    German soldiers: *look at each other in confusion*
    Entire German line: *begin whistling*
  • Albert trying to impress a pretty girl riding in the car driven by his landlord's son. He and Joey manage to outrace them but when Albert tries to get him to jump over a stone wall, Joey stops short and Albert falls off. He looks up at Joey and says resignedly "Well, you're clearly not going to be a jumper."
  • Lt. Waverly being proud of his new silk cap:
    Lt. Waverly: (admiring himself in the mirror) Silk lining. I quite like it.
    Capt Nicholls: I'm not sure it's going to make a lot of difference to the Germans.
    Waverly: Oh, I don't know about that. Think about it. You're a Boche, just working out which of two chaps to shoot and you thought - "Good Lord - one of them really is wearing a very stylish cap indeed!" You might shoot the other one instead.
    Capt Nicholls: Or, alternatively, think - "I fancy that cap" and kill you first of all.
    (Waverly removes his cap)