Funny / Video Game Confessions

  • The first episode involved Mario, which can best be summed up by this sentence:
    Dominic: Where was I? Oh, right. His wife's a kinky slut.
  • Link hitting on Sheik, then pathetically backtracking when Zelda takes off the mask. And then Samus Aran comes in...
    • The Sheik/Zelda episode:
      Dominic: She had this story involving a pig-man... Eh, it didn't sound that epic anyway.
  • Video Game Confessions turns Samus into a godlike Heroic Comedic Sociopath with a hilariously hair-trigger personality (namely, a Berserk Button that's nearly impossible not to press-body issues) as well as a Crosses the Line Twice approach to everyone (her "logic" being that she's reminding them that a body is a fragile thing by inflicting great pain on it). Just watch it.
  • The Solid Snake episode. Hearing all the insane things the killer did to Snake's parents is funny enough, but there's the little issue about how Snake, being cloned, doesn't really have parents... which, when Doug learned about it, immediately followed up with Dominic confronting Snake about it. What happened from then has to be heard to be believed. Why? Well... here's the line where things get interesting:
    Dominic: I said, "I know what this is; you like your box, you can't explain why, it's some sort of childish connection, and you made up some bullcrap story for it." ...then, all of a sudden, the box started talking.
  • The Princess Daisy episode is probably the most clever one in the entire series. And also one of the most hilarious.
    "... So I asked very kindly..."
    Dominic: What is [Princess Peach] to you, exactly? I mean, are you her friend, are you her sister..?
    Daisy: Clone.
    Dominic: Oh! Okay... What?
  • The Portal episode. 1. Chell being a political radio talkshow host before the tests, and 2. Killing herself simply because she was offered a piece of cake.
  • The Duke Nukem episode, short version it's just a long list of Serial Escalation after Serial Escalation of why it took so long for Duke Nukem Forever to be made, which ended with Canada being nuked.
  • The Pac-Man episode's just too funny to only include one example. Some highlights:
    • Pac-Man: Me and my wife, we have an understanding. Link: Oh yeah, me and my wife have an understanding too! Dominic: (Rolls his eyes).
    • Dominic: What gender are you anyway? Link: It better be a fucking man!
    • Pac-Man: Well, have you ever wondered what it's like to be two people? Link: No, but my wife certainly has...
    • Dominic: What's your maiden name? Pac-Man:...Woman. Pac-Woman.
    • Dominic: Ms.Pac Man comes back and lo and behold, there's no Mr. Pac-Man with her. She flirts with Q*Bert a bit and gives him a pat on what I pray to god is his behind.
    • Dominic: And she just smiles and pinches his...well I know it wasn't his cheek But I Digress.
  • Sub-Zero's episode. To pay the bills he's an ice cream truck driver. When asked what he did with an annoying child who insulted his mother, this is his answer.
    Dominic: He says he froze him and then decapitated him. Like biting the head off an animal cracker he said.
    • It's revealed shortly after that he's been hiding the body by putting pieces of it in the ice cream he sells children. Also in the ice that he delivers to the Pixel Palace.
  • The Infinite Bits installment is loaded with them: