- Every single time Norma opens her mouth.
Norma: Whatever happened to the real men in this world? I might as well become a nun!Gangsters: A nun?!Norma: What's wrong with that? My MOTHER was a NUN!
- I'm hoorny. *pouts lips*
- From The Musical:
Norma: And don't kid yourself!(opens coat to reveal underwear)Norma: You ain't seen nothin' yet!Norma: Are you okay?
- Norma escorted by Squash on a train while ranting the whole way about King being hot for "Victor"...then she boards the train (still ranting) and Squash starts walking away, parallel to the train, with Norma keeping pace inside the train (still ranting), stopping at the end and flashing an uninterested Squash.
Sal: Dumped you for another woman, huh?Norma: No, a new man.(Beat)Sal: Can you say run that by me again?Norma: (instantly stops crying) Okay, there's this Polish fairy, ya see...
- "WAIT!!!!....lock the door."
- Her meeting with an old friend who just happens to be King's mob boss employer, bursting into tears over King. What pushes it over the top is the friend's face at the end of this exchange.
- Squash has just been stranded out in the blistering snow on the balcony outside Victoria and Toddy's hotel room. Sneaking back into the hallway, covered in snow, he encounters the neighbor across the hall.
Squash: Do you have heat in your room?Neighbor: (nods)Squash: Boy, you're lucky.
- Said neighbor has a Running Gag of starting to put his shoes out for the maids, but seeing one of the main cast acting suspiciously and deciding to take them back in.
- The bumbling detective, a Call Back of Blake Edwards' Inspector Clouseau character.
Manager: Be careful.Leclou Monseuir, I am always careful.Manager: That chair is broken.Leclou It is? (CRASH!)
- Of special note of when the Chez Lui manager, upon receiving the bill of services, takes an iron mallet and abruptly smashes the detective's bandaged finger.
- The reprise of ''Shady Dame'' in the finale with Toddy taking Victoria's place.
Toddy: (to dancers) You were marvelous! I never want to see any of you ever again.
- Supposedly, Robert Preston rehearsed the number exactly once so that the performance would be as hilariously bad as possible.
Police Inspector: You IDIOT ... that's a man!Labisse: That's not possible.Police Inspector: Oh yeah? Well when I walked in, the person in that room was naked from the waist down, and if that was a woman, then she was wearing the greatest disguise that I have ever seen.