Funny / Victor/Victoria

  • Every single time Norma opens her mouth.
    Norma: Whatever happened to the real men in this world? I might as well become a nun!
    Gangsters: A nun?!
    Norma: What's wrong with that? My MOTHER was a NUN!
    • Norma escorted by Squash on a train while ranting the whole way about King being hot for "Victor"...then she boards the train (still ranting) and Squash starts walking away, parallel to the train, with Norma keeping pace inside the train (still ranting), stopping at the end and flashing an uninterested Squash.
    Norma: And don't kid yourself!
    (opens coat to reveal underwear)
    Norma: You ain't seen nothin' yet!
    Norma: Are you okay?
    • "WAIT!!!!....lock the door."
    • Her meeting with an old friend who just happens to be King's mob boss employer, bursting into tears over King. What pushes it over the top is the friend's face at the end of this exchange.
    Sal: Dumped you for another gal, huh?
    Norma: No, a another guy.
    Sal: Run that by me again?
    Norma: (instantly stops crying) Okay, there's this Polish fairy, ya see...
  • From the Musical, Toddy offers Victoria his flat to stay in.
    Victoria: Ah, no, you've been very kind but...
    Toddy: Relax. I'm gay.
    Victoria: Oh, that's the nicest thing anyone's said to me all day!
  • Toddy's matter of fact statement on why he can't be fired: "I can't afford it."
  • Squash has just been stranded out in the blistering snow on the balcony outside Victoria and Toddy's hotel room. Sneaking back into the hallway, covered in snow, he encounters the neighbor across the hall.
    Squash: Do you have heat in your room?
    Neighbor: (nods)
    Squash: Boy, you're lucky.
    • Said neighbor has a Running Gag of starting to put his shoes out for the maids, but seeing one of the main cast acting suspiciously and deciding to take them back in.
  • The bumbling detective, a Call-Back of Blake Edwards' Inspector Clouseau character.
    Manager: Be careful.
    Leclou Monseuir, I am always careful.
    Manager: That chair is broken.
    Leclou It is? (CRASH!)
    • Of special note of when the Chez Lui manager, upon receiving the bill of services, takes an iron mallet and abruptly smashes the detective's bandaged finger.
  • The reprise of ''Shady Dame'' in the finale with Toddy taking Victoria's place.
    Toddy: (to dancers) You were marvelous! I never want to see any of you ever again.
  • Police Inspector: You IDIOT ... that's a man!
    Labisse: That's not possible.
    Police Inspector: Oh yeah? Well when I walked in, the person in that room was naked from the waist down, and if that was a woman, then she was wearing the greatest disguise that I have ever seen.