- Munny (after shooting Little Bill and nearly every deputy): "Any man don't wanna get killed better clear on out the back." (Everyone that can run does.)
- Right after that he goes to take a swig of liquor, and there is a sign right in front of him which says "No firearms on premises".
- The Running Gag whenever Beauchamp tries to describe his job as a writer: "What, letters?"
- The scene of the nervous deputies arming themselves as English Bob rides into town, as they argue over the merits of dying on a hot day or cold day as well as how bad a carpenter Little Bill is.
- Little Bill's reaction to Beauchamp telling him he should hang the carpenter who built his house.
- "Been talking 'bout the Queen again?"
Little Bill: It's been a long time, Bob. You run out of Chinamen?
- Pretty much the polite banter between old foes English Bob and Little Bill:
English Bob (stunned): Little Bill, well I thought you was, well I thought that you were dead. (waves his hat) I see you've shaved your chin whiskers off.
Little Bill: I was tasting the soup two hours after I ate it.
English Bob: Well, actually, what I heard was that you fell off your horse — drunk, of course — and that you... aheh, broke your bloody neck.
Little Bill: I heard that one myself, Bob. Hell, I even thought I was dead... 'til I found out it was just that I was in Nebraska.
- On their second night out riding to Big Whiskey:
Logan: I sure do miss my bed.
Munny: You said that last night.
Logan: No, last night I said I missed my wife, tonight I just miss my damn bed.
- The target practice scene. Munny missing the can repeatedly with the Starr revolver, then blasting it into next week with the shotgun.
- "The Duck of Death"
Beauchamp: "It says 'Duke' of Death."Little Bill: "'Duck,' I says."
- English Bob being railroaded out of town after Little Bill is done with him. He's good enough to give Bob his revolver back... with the barrel bent to the point of uselessness.
- How can anyone forget the scene where Ned asks our Celibate Anti-Hero if he masturbates?