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Funny: Unda Vosari
  • A Storm Is Coming: Vincent and Malim discuss the weather.
    Vincent: "I fear no frightful squalls… They're not as frightening as they're supposed to be. Some of 'em are more cute then frightening. I call 'em squills."
    Malim: "If'n ye’ say so, sir. And do yonder clouds look like a squill, sir?"
    Vincent: "... No, actually, that looks like a big god damn storm."

  • Heroic BSOD: Vincent has a few of these. Malim has a hilarious one.
    Vincent: I wish people would just listen to me.
    Vincent (as himself): "Don’t sell my family!"
    Vincent (as Calavera): "Why not?"
    Vincent (as himself): "Because I will have to kill you."
    Vincent (as Calavera): "Oh, okay, I think I'll sell your family."
    Vincent (as himself): "Don’t invade the city!"
    Vincent (as Dagriz): "Why not?"
    Vincent (as himself): "'Cause we'll have to kill all the crews of whatever boats you send!"
    Vincent (as Dagriz): "Oh, okay, I think I'll invade the city."
    Vincent (as himself): "Don’t try to stop me from talking to the queen, who’s also my former crew member and apparently my ex-girlfriend."
    Vincent (as the Captain of the Guard): "Why not?"
    Vincent (as himself): "Because I’ll have to kill you and the army between you and I!"
    Vincent (as the Captain of the Guard): "Oh, I think I'll stop you."

  • Sarcastic Confession: Provided by Vincent when chasing a ship down, although it was true. Can also be considered False Reassurance.
    Vincent Lorimar (via signal flags): I do not want to waste cannons on your enchanted ship of sinking and leaks.
    (The ship begins to flee.)
    Vincent Lorimar (via signal flags): Wait, we just want to kill your crew and steal your boat.

  • Acceptable Ethnic Targets: The vertically-challenged.
    Vincent: "... You hit like a midget."

  • There Is No Kill Like Overkill: Bane protecting the crew.
    Janimba: "You’re 'protecting' me by killing people who are cowering in fear?"
    Bane: (While cleaving his axe into a dead crewman at every word interval) "I," THUNK, "AM," THUNK, "KEEPING," THUNK, "YOU," THUNK, "SAFE."

  • Stealth Insult: Played with. Vincent manages to turn somebody calling him out into the butt of an insult the target wasn't expecting.
    Vincent (clearly intoxicated): "Them dwarven nutsucks won't let me drink to my friend." (To an elf) "You sweaty dwarves testicle!"
    Winged Elf: "Hey! Landworm! You wanna say that to my fist?" (Clenches fist)
    Vincent: "... Yeah." (Staggers over, bends over, points to fist) "You... are a sweaty... *hic* ... dwarven testicle." (Still bent over, points to the other fist) "And you must be the other one..." (Stands upright, arm still bent and finger still pointing) "I think that makes you the dick in the middle."

The Ultra VioletsFunny/LITERATUREThe Underland Chronicles

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