Funny / Ultra Fast Pony

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    General / Running Gags 
  • Other ponies think Rarity is gay. She vehemently denies it.
    From UFP 8: A Library With No Twilight:
    Gilligan Cut to AJ and Rarity in the same bed.
    Rarity: "This doesn't prove anything!"
    Applejack: "Stop it or I'm going to stab you in the eye!"
    Rarity: "Ah, would you?...would you?"
  • Fluttershy steals all the catchphrases.
    Fluttershy: 'Cause I'm so shy.
    Fluttershy: Oh, why am I so bad with animals?
    Fluttershy: Snoop Dog! note 
    • Except for Princess Luna's, which everyone hates.
      Luna: Saaaaaaand!
    • She also says, "Balls to you!" a lot.
  • Pinkie is obsessed with Lord of the Rings.
  • The Mayor gets heckled during her speeches. By the same pony every time.
    Random Citizen: Boo! You suck!
    Mayor Mare: Yes, well, you're a cow. No, wait...
  • Twilight is always getting interrupted.
  • Rarity is never allowed to introduce an episode, even if it's an episode primarily about her.

    Season 1 
  • UFP 1: The Canon Has Misfired
    • This exchange:
      Twilight: Are you like... the mob?
      (Beat)
      Applejack: Why don't ya have an apple, Twilight.
    • Twilight forgets about saving the world because she wants to get revenge on Rainbow for ruining her hair.
    • Twilight needs a stealth suit. Rarity offers her a gimp suit.
  • UFP 2: Fillen' Dem Plot Holes, Bro
    • This episode introduces Equestrian racism.
    Twilight: All the ponies loved the White Princess of the day, but they were scared of the Evil Black Princess and her foreign ways. So the White Princess banished the Evil Princess to the moon to work the lunar cotton fields for a thousand years.
    • The sheer amount of exposition condensed into the first 30 seconds to make up for the lack of detail in the first episode.
    • About 2 minutes in, everyone announces their names, leading to the title card reappearing as the last, major plot hole has been filled.
    • Rarity kills Steven Magnet (again) while shouting "Croc hunter!", leading to the hilarious editor note: "Steve Irwin>Steve Magnet".
    • A great exchange between Twilight and Nightmare Moon:
      NM: I will murder everyone you love!
      Twilight: I hope you get crabs!
      NM: Well, that's kind of a mean thing to say.
      Twilight: And the crabs give you cancer!
      (Beat)
      NM: What?
      Twilight: Crabancer!
    • When the Mane 6 use the Elements of Harmony on Nightmare Moon, she's stunned. Because it had literally zero buildup in this series. Twilight outright tells her that "It's a Plot Hole. Deal with it!"
    • Celestia appears ranting about being lonely at her tea party- which Twilight wrote to her about in the first episode, telling the princess she wouldn't be coming.
      • She then shoots down Pinkie's idea to throw a party and insults Luna. Luna tries to stab her in the neck, and fails (because the visuals were from a scene where Luna was giving her sister a loving hug).
      • Twilight asks if she can go home now and get away from the stupid ponies. Celestia basically says, "You ditched me, now I'm ditching you. Enjoy your new life surrounded by morons, bitch." Twilight tells the Mane 6 that she was just kidding about the whole "stupid ponies" thing.
    • The ending card: I'M BEING STUPID AND YOU CAN'T STOP ME!
      Trolling at its finest.
  • UFP 3: Now With A Sound Effect
    • At some point between episodes, Twilight accidentally teleported most of Applejack's family to hell. She's given indentured servitude as punishment. Not because she basically killed her "friend's" family, but because now their chores aren't getting done and someone has to do them.
    • Twilight compliments the lip synching- while not opening her mouth at all.
    • Rainbow Dash appears out of nowhere, leading to this:
      Applejack: How the hell are you awake? I gave you enough drugs to knock out an elephant for 10 days!
      Rainbow: Like, I don't know. I got, like, bored.
    • Apparently, hanging around Rainbow for one day is as painful as getting your legs broken by Applejack.
    • Rarity's Gala fantasy isn't just dipping into the pool of Too Much Information- it runs headlong off the diving board and cannonballs the deep end.
      Rarity: That's where I'll meet... him.
      Twilight: I really don't want to know what you're talking about.
      ~~
      Rarity: And we'll get married. Right there on the floor!
      Twilight: Well that's just... really horrifying.
      Rarity: And then on our honeymoon night, he'll carry me into the bed chambers, and gently lay me down; whispering sweet, soggy nothings in my ear. After that, he'll tie me to the bed and pull out his-
      Twilight: Dammit Rarity, what is wrong with you?
      Pinkie: And I thought I had the erotic imagination!
      Rarity: I was going to say branding iron.
      Twilight: So many damn mental images!
      • Later; Rarity: Give me the ticket and I'll let you join in.
  • UFP 4: Mob Wars
    • Twilight: Run everypony, it's dirty illegal immigrants!
    • Applejack has just declared war on a rival gang (of cows). But, since Big Mac is off training for a rigged fight, she's on her own. She decides to recruit some ponies from town...
      Twilight: And that's why we're giving this award to Snuggle Berry, for being a cutesy-wootsie cuddle pie.
      ~~
      Applejack: Ah, damn, I'm going to die.
    • Snuggle Berry died in the stampede. The second stampede. The one of cute little bunnies.
    • Twilight is about to confess something to Applejack. There's background music, and it's really sweet, it seems like it's going to be a love confession- and then she reveals she poisoned all of Applejack's apples. Applejack then tests the poison on her friends. And declares that they'll be having steak for dinner.
  • UFP 5: Everybody Hates Gilda
    • Rainbow Dash, the most annoying character in all Equestria, gets annoyed by Pinkie talking about her fan fiction. Rainbow tries to fly away, with Pinkie chasing after and still explaining the fic, and eventually smashes into a cliff; Pinkie is still explaining the fic. Rainbow begs for someone to kill her.
    • Rainbow: Pinkie. I've been thinking. You're annoying. And I'm annoying. We should team up, and totally annoy everyone.
      Pinkie: Yeah, okay!
    • Later:
      Rainbow: Go away Pinkie. You've been friend dumped.
    • In contrast to her usual personality, Gilda is a polite and posh British person. She's also stereotypically ugly.
      • Fluttershy mistakes her for a slave driver and runs off crying.
      • Gilda gets injured in a lot of ways at the party when Pinkie tries to murder her... and maintains her calm accent throughout all of it.
        Gilda: I am quite sorry that I have to leave the party everyone, but I am going to have to go to the hospital, as I am in rather gratuitous amounts of pain.
  • UFP 6: Hippocratic Oafs
    • This Twilight is already becoming far too genre savvy:
      Twilight: I already regret asking this, but how do you deal with the show-off?
  • UFP 14: Little Miss Montage
    • Their responses to their "Gala dresses"
      Rarity: Dresses are done!
      Fluttershy: Oh my Lord...
      Twilight: That...is a lot of leather.
      Rarity: What? Hang on, those are my personal...umm...let me just put those away...
      • Becomes a bit of a Brick Joke. When she later shows the final dresses to Hoity Toity, she accidentally pulls out the leather instead.
    • Then the real dresses come out:
      Rainbow: Guys, we need to find a nice way to tell Rarity that these dresses look like ass.
      Rarity: You know I'm standing right here.
      Rainbow: Uh, guys? I think she heard me say that the dresses look like ass.
  • UFP 21: The Butts Family
    • Rarity accusing Applejack of having stolen her tree. She denies it...even if the tree has the word "Rarity" carved in it...and she left a note saying "Ha Ha! I stole your tree! Signed AJ!"
    • Also Applejack is apparently a kleptomaniac.
    • For the same episode, Applejack's cousin thinks Ponyville is racism-free, Applejack tries nervously to confirm this only for Twilight to snicker in the background.
    • Though this entire episode may have just been a scary story Pinkie was telling.
  • The Entire Gala Song

    Season 2 
  • UFP 27: The Penny And Clyde Show
Twilight: Dammit! Why must everything be so hard? Discord: Oh Twilight, if life was hard, it'd be full of innuendos...like my ostrich penis- Twilight: SO MUCH MORE INFORMATION THAN I WANTED!

  • UFP 51: The Longest Engagement
    • Celestia watching Cheerilee and Big Mac doing something... interesting...
      Celestia: Is that Cheerilee and Big Mac? What are they doing? WOAH! Oh, I should not be watching that. Oh, who am I kidding? I'm going to keep watching it anyway. It's my country, if they don't like it, they can get out!
      [Later]
      Celestia: OK, this is just ridiculous! It's been two hours and they're still going. Wait, what's he doing with that pie? OH MY ME! That is so wrong! I never knew Cheerilee was that flexible!
      [Later]
      Celestia: Oh, come on! At least stop for a drink of water or something!
      [Later]
      Celestia: OK, I'm counting at least five midgets in there and I don't even know what they're doing. Oh, that's what they're doing!
      [Later]
      Orb: [Letting Luna in] Oh, sure, just enter the orb! Everyone else is doing it!
      Luna: Shut up! I want to watch what's going on!
      [Later]
      Luna: Celestia was right, they are freaky!
      [Later, as Twilight is running to tell her friends what Cadence (really Queen Chrysalis) is doing to Shining Armor]
      Luna: Hey, Twilight! You won't believe what Cheerilee and Big Mac are doing! Go and get my VHS recorder!

    Season 3 
  • UFP 65: The Longest Recap
    • #Watching ponies having sex! Oh, de-doo-da-day!#

    Season 4 
  • UFP 68: Survivor: Equestria
    • Rarity and Fluttershy's team is called "Team Apitikitangawallawallabeendurgamagaalarmisalamisamichameedlebutuchawitchapantsoff"!
    • Rainbow Dash offers to let Applejack join her alliance to vote off another pony:
      Applejack: Really? And what's this other pony's name?
      Rainbow Dash: It's Apple.
      (Long pause)
      Applejack: Apple?
      Rainbow Dash: Yeah, the name's Apple!
      Applejack: I'm not joining your alliance.
      Rainbow Dash: Well, fine! Maybe me and Apple are gonna join together and we'll vote you off! Ha ha, see you later, loser!
    • Rainbow Dash eats the map and Applejack chews her out for it.
      Applejack: You'd better still know the directions!
      Rainbow Dash: Of course I do! It's just down here, and then through here, and then we saw this old faint heart, we pet the fish, and then we're here!
      Applejack: We're back at the start of the castle!
      Rainbow Dash: Huh. Sorry, I must have eaten the map upside down.
      Applejack: I hate you so much.
  • UFP 84: Sweetie Dreams
    • The intro:
      Rarity: What do you want, Sweetie Belle?
      Sweetie Belle: Just wanted to make sure you could make it to my play tomorrow night.
      Rarity: (Groans) How can I put this in a way you'll understand? (beat) No.
      Sweetie Belle: I DON'T UNDERSTAND!
      Rarity: Sweetie Belle, you know how you get at plays. Remember when we went to see Phantom of the Opera?
      Sweetie Belle: Oh, you mean when I saved everyone when I killed that ghost?
      Rarity: That wasn't a ghost, that was the Phantom! He was the main character!
      Sweetie Belle: Well, how was I supposed to know that?
      Rarity: I don't know! Was him screaming "Stop bludgeoning me to death! I'm just an actor!" too subtle of a hint for you?

    Other 
  • A good portion of the teaser-to-theme transitions. For example, from "Winning":
    Apple Bloom: Do it with the music or I'll have you reported!
    Zecora: In the words of the immortal Mr. Rogers, get the hell off my property!
    Theme music: Frieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeends!
    • Another good example is from "Purple Party Pooper":
    Twilight (uncharacteristically happy) It's my birthday Spike, and although I know we don't always get along, my friends have agreed to all come and help me celebrate.
    Spike: Oh right, I forgot to tell you, all your friends told you they couldn't make it.
    Spike: (stares wordlessly at her.)
    Theme music: Frieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeends!
  • In the episode "Time":
    • After meeting herself from the future, Twilight has this realization:
    Twilight: I learned me from the future, is an annoying jerk!
    Spike: Good to know nothing has changed in the future.
    Twilight: What?
    Spike: Nothing, I'm going to bed.
    • And later
    Twilight: Attention Ponyville! I just met me from the future and me from the future is annoying jerk! So if you ever see me in the future, I want you to punch her in the face for me!
    Pinkie: I feel like Twilight doesn't really understand how time works.
    (Smash Cut to Twilight looking at her black eye in the mirror)
    Twilight: I didn't mean the immediate future!!!
    Spike:: I think it was sweet, that so many ponies were willing to help you in your time of need.
  • The Longest Recap is literally UFP Kai, fitting all three seasons into sixteen minutes.
    • "Watching ponies having sex, doo-dah, doo-dah..."
  • Lexington Snowbottom the talking sunflower... and I can already hear a mix of suppressed laughter and regular laughter.
  • " Rainbow Dash, you need to get some mental help or something. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some invisible fairies with terrible Scottish accents to serve alcohol to because I'm their god."
  • Applejack is horrified of the idea of Applebloom listening to Hitler's speeches on the record player, but not for the reasons you might think:
    Applejack: Doesn't she know we have that whole thing on DVD?
  • Maud is a demon summoned by Pinkie for the Apples to start their army to take over the world. She also has a pact against violence.
    Applejack: You summoned me a pacifist destroyer of worlds?
  • From episode 85, "Communion Whine":
    • The Flim-Flam brothers are back, and they are selling a holy tonic provided by their false god. They go through a whole spiel of trying to convince Applejack to let them sell it. She simply says, "No", and they leave.
    • Apple Bloom likes to count to 10 for fun... from -10,000,000. Granny Smith's reaction is pure This Is Gonna Suck.
      Granny Smith: I learned that Apple Bloom needs to die!
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