Funny: Ultimate Spider-Man
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- Just from the first two episodes alone it seems like the series will be filled with these thanks to Peter's Imagine Spots.
- Blink and you'll miss it, but in the opening sequence in "Great Power", Spidey does a triple axel as he sails across the Jumbotron screen.
- His first three run ins with Trapster are shown in hand drawings of him being stuck on a school bus, on top of the Liberty Torch, and on the Thing's back.
- The Cut during Fury's lecture about how other heroes "started out clueless", to Iron Man first trying out the MK. III Armor, ricocheting around his private garage before crashing into and destroying one of his cars, embedding himself in it upside-down, and remaining stuck there for a couple seconds while the alarm blares for comedic effect.
- When the Frightful Four attack Midtown High, we get this jewel:
Wizard: If Spider-Man doesn't reveal himself, we'll tear this school down brick by brick!
Random Student: YEAH!
- In "Great Power," during a fight with the Frightful Four in Midtown High, Flash Thompson tells Spider-Man that he's his biggest fan and he wants to help. Remembering how he gets stuffed into a locker by this jerk on a daily basis, Peter responds as thus:
Spider-Man: Definitely, "bro." (Opens one of the lockers) Step in.
Flash Thompson (eagerly stepping into the locker): Now what?
Wait for my signal. Jump out, and we'll surround them. Remember, wait for my signal.
(Slams the door shut) Immature, I know,
but it felt so good!
- Spanish class, with Spider-Man.
- The SHIELD Helicarrier comes with a key fob. That is hilarious.
- Aunt May soundly trouncing Peter at video games and his shocked expression.
- Peter's "Wall of Shame" spot where we see Nick Fury crying his good eye out.
- White Tiger poking fun at Nova in "Great Responsibility." It's the insultingly cutesy-wootzy tone to her voice she adds that does it.
White Tiger: Look who thinks he's still in charge. It's so cute.
- Followed immediately by:
Spider-Man (chucking aside a torn up robot arm): Next?
Fury: Web-Parachute test. (Smirks) See you tomorrow.
Spider-Man: "Parachute Test?"
(Cue the floor opening up and sending Spidey plummeting to the ground below, screaming at the top of his lungs like a little girl all the way.)
- After Norman makes a comment about the possibility of Spider-Man being right under his minions' noses, Spidey floats into the background with a parachute made out of webbing.
Spider-Man: Gotta use the bathroom!
- Peter visits Harry in the hospital.
Peter: Hey hero! I brought you something from school.
- Norman compliments Peter having Harry's best interests.
Peter: Wouldn't it be nice if everyone had a dad like that.
- In "Great Responsiblity," MJ is wondering who Spider-Man could be, saying he could be anyone, a teacher, a student, and then, just like clockwork, Stan the Janitor walks by.
Stan (jokingly) Thwip! Thwip!
- Pete imagining how his interview with MJ would go.
- Minutes after that, Spidey meets Dr. Curt Conners, who actually manages to put one over on him by feigning his canonical missing arm.
- Of course there was Spidey's first test run on the Spider Cycle, which he barely has control over, and has him driving crazy over New York.
- While test-driving the Spider-Cycle for the first time, Spidey lands on the Jumbotron of J. Jonah Jameson in the middle of his daily rant against superhumans. He promptly uses the bike to draw a mustache on him via skidmark.
- Peter shaking hands with Nick Fury-than activating his web-parachute that covers them both. "...Awkward."
- When Peter finds out his teammates are now going to his school he says he has to talk to a guy. Cut to him at the Principal's office demanding a transfer. Funniest part? The Chair Reveal that Agent Coulson is the Acting Principal and Fury wants him to stay right where he is.
Coulson: Acting Principal Coulson. *Spidey hands* Thwip thwip!
- A lovely exchange between Coulson and Spider-Man:
Coulson: The Daily Bugle says that Spider-Man is a threat to public safety.
Peter: But I'm so cuddly.
- Sam proudly holding up his mashed potato sculpture of Coulson.
- Spidey and Nova's imaginary faces after White Tiger calls them Dork 1 and Dork 2.
- As the team has to clean up after Spider-Man and Nova's mess, Iron Fist provides an... interesting, zen rebuttal to White Tiger's complaining.
Iron Fist: The mightiest tornado gives off the gentlest breeze only when temperatures cool down.
White Tiger stares blankly at Iron Fist
Luke Cage: He does that.
- White Tiger shreds a Doombot the minute they land in Latveria. It lives long enough to bemoan one thing before exploding:
- During the fight against "Doctor Doom", when Spidey and Nova both go after Doom at the same time:
White Tiger: Stupidest. Boys. Ever.
Iron Fist: As a boy, I second that.
- During their fight with Doctor Doom(bot), Spiderman gets one Oh, Crap pun in after he realizes that Doom's more than a match for them:
(at which point the spider on his chest does a girly scream and leaps off of him)
- After Spidey captures Doom, he Imagine Spots a scene where he presents "Doom" to Fury at a dinner table. The funny part? During the scene, the tied up "Doom" demands to have a banana split.
- Agent Coulson losing his mind, as acting principal.
Fury: He's gone native!
- Power Man's foot being burned by a tiny, squeaky Doombot.
- Spiderman Describing Doom as wanted for rocking a DnD armor and green cape in the 21rst century.
Flight of the Iron Spider
Why I Hate Gym
- "Wheel of Excuses".
- After Venom crashes a party at Harry's house, everyone hears the crashes. Nova's reaction?
I hope he rented a lion! (beat)
What? Rich people rent lions.
- As guests are running for their lives, one girl stops, screams, gives Harry her number, and screams again before finally running off.
- Also, when MJ saves Harry from falling to his death by grabbing the front of his shirt:
Harry: GAH! I think you just pulled out my only chest-hair.
- Afer the battle, Luke and Ava pull Danny free from the Venom-goop that had stuck him to a wall. Unfortunately, doing so ripped off his costume in the process (save his mask), revealing that he wears briefs the same color as his uniform, with a tiny dragon symbol in the front right corner.
Iron-Fist/Danny (smirking nonchalantly): (shrug) It's a monk thing.
- MJ instructing Harry how to use a mop while they clean up the aftermath of the party/fight.
MJ: ...The floppy end does the cleaning.
- Ava and Peter poke fun at Coulson's underwear. "Leave that man's underwear alone, Pete. Or he'll get short with you!"
Back in Black
- The Incredible Hulk's Offhand Backhand, when Spider-Man jumps on his shoulders.
- Spiderman trying to hurt the giant while hitting his head and bouncing off of his shoulders, only pausing to give thumbs up
- Spiderman: You can edit that out, right?
- One of the news tickers in Episode 8 features this hidden gem: "Squirrel Girl Launches New Perfume Line".
- Pretty much all of "Freaky", especially once Peter and Logan switch bodies.
- When Nick Fury swoops in, Spidey explains to the viewers that Fury works for SHIELD, then gets nearly gets shot by viewers annoyed with having to sit through exposition of things they already knew.
- Peter accidentally shanking himself in Wolverine's body. Twice.
- One Life To Web.
- Logan failing at web-slinging.
- Sabretooth's completely "What the hell is going on?" reaction when he first sees Spidey in Wolverine's body trying to say he isn't, followed by the first self-shanking.
- A small dog barks at Sabretooth, Sabretooth barks back, dog drags owner away.
- Peter so freaked when explaining what happened to Logan he loses the Gutteral Growl and sounds much more like Spike.
- In "Me Time", when Peter finds a SHIELD hidden camera in his house, he looks up to the heavens and screams “FUUUUUURRRYYYYYYY!!!!!!"
- Lets not forget that after Fury saves Peter at the end of the episode, Peter asks Fury to delete the security footage that SHIELD places in his home and Fury agrees and will delete in 24 hours. 23 hours and 23 minutes later, Fury shows the other trainees Parker's embarrassing moments before deleting it.
- "This ain't my first rodeo, kid!"
- The one guy who gets a Jetpack is Nova. Spidey points out the pointlessness of that.
- The "comedy violation" gag. All of it.
- Peter's nightmare, including Aunt May with a spider head and bright hat.
- One of his extra arms tries to pick his nose as he's talking.
- This exchange, between Doctor Strange and Spider-Man.
Spider-Man: Guess what number I'm thinking of!
Doctor Strange: You aren't thinking of a number. You're thinking of flapjacks.
- The first thing Jameson says after being freed from Nightmare's magic sleep?
Jameson: Spider-Man stinks!
- Sam's fear of bunnies. Peter exploits this at the end of the episode when a rabbit pops out of a hat he was holding as he and Danny catch up on their sleep.
- Doctor Strange and Iron Fist discuss Spidey's Arbitrary Skepticism.
Doctor Strange: Honestly, Danny? This was the best you could do?
Iron Fist: A dull blade can make an excellent hammer.
Spider-Man: I heard excellent and dull. Am I offended or not?
- Doctor Strange gets a nice one over Spidey and Iron Fist: "Speaking of nightmares, ever had the one where you had to get back to school before anyone knew you were missing?" Cue Spidey and Iron Fist with panicked expressions on their faces.
For Your Eye Only
- When Spider-Man is looking for something to pass off as a science project in order to meet a deadline, he remembers that Curt Connors gave him free access to his laboratory and equipment. Spidey's good and bad angels clarify:
What Dr. Connors Actually Said: I want you to know, Spidey, I have an open-door policy. If you need any help for yourself or your teammates, I'm here.
- Iron Fist and White Tiger leading the "Awesome Android" away from downtown.
White Tiger: Come on Andy... That's a good boy...
White Tiger: This is embarrassing.
- Spidey preparing himself to confront Andy the Awesome Android.
White Tiger: Have you lost your mind?!
Spider-Man: You're only saying that because I'm wearing an ice cream bucket on my head.
- Juggernaught's disguise is just him wearing a trench coat and a fedora, even though he's the size of the hulk, he doesn't even remove his helmet.
- And judging from the fact that no one is reacting to him on the train it works
- The label maker came from Coulson who gave it to Aunt May, who gave it to Peter who gave it to Nick Fury for Christmas.
- "You've got 'Pew-Pew' guns! I love 'Pew-Pew' guns!"
- Spiderman using his new gadgets, and Coulson explaining what they are.
- Peter using one of the Zodiac agents as a puppet...and being really bad at using marionettes.
- Spidey thinks his team is gone off on missions...and it shows a montage of Luke on a Rollercoaster, Danny going to Yoga, Ava reading a romance novel and Nova going to a Rave.
- Not to mention there's a Marvel Universe version of Facebook.
- "Spiderman Will Return in Doctor Octopussy"...Seriously, that was in this episode.
Out of Damage Damage
- Peter imagines Mary Jane taking over Jameson's job, complete with the haircut.
At least she didn't have the moustache
- Mary Jane telling off Galactus for trying to eat the Earth. Spidey admits it didn't happen, but it's funny anyway.
- Spidey thinks his teammates ditched him for lunch after not getting a response.
- Wolverine at Anger Management...with Sabertooth in it and Spiderman caught on the crossfire.
- As the gang confront Beetle, Nova says that 5 against 1 may is not a fair fight but these guys wants some payback. That is until Beetle takes out multiple missiles from his suit causing the group to rethink their numbers.
Run Pig Run
- Spider-Man infiltrates Mac's office and destroys its security system.
Spider-Man: Maybe Mac won't notice.
(Cleaning bots come in and rebuild the room)
Spider-Man: OK, so Mac really won't notice.
- After the first battle with the Wrecking Crew, Fury has taken every opportunity to berate Team Spidey for the damage caused, even forcing them to work with Damage Control to clean up the mess. When they finally manage to prove themselves to him, he reinstates them as SHIELD-santioned superheroes...accidentally brushing against a pile of huge, metal pipes. Said pipes start rolling out of control towards one of the damaged buildings, causing it to collapse completely. Not only do we finally get to see what Nick Fury looks like when he screws up, but Spidey puts the cherry on the sundae by grabbing one of the vacuum devices he and the others had been using in the cleanup effort and handing it to Fury.
Spider-Man: "Special delivery for Director Fury!"
Gives Fury the vacuum.
- The Daily Bugle is televising everything...with an enthusiastic cameraman waving whenver we see him.
Cameraman: Yo Spidey!
The Iron Octopus
- Spidey lamenting the fact that he gets no respect.
Spider-Man: I save the world too. But do I get a billboard? No, I get...
Police Officer: Vigilante.
- Coulson in principal mode in Spider-Ham episode.
Coulson: Tuck your shirt in, then you can run for your life.
Flash, get out of here. It's going to get messy.
Thor: Beware, you are about to face the Prince of Asgard!
Coulson: (using a jetpack, has a S.H.I.E.L.D. gun and has his tie tied around his head) And the Principal of Midtown High!
- During the Hunt, Spider-Ham hides in a trash bin. Cue Loki, disguised as a mime, indicating the Hunters where Spider-Ham is. The Hunters, not understanding what Mime!Loki is doing, stand there. Finally having enough, Loki just flat out tells them where Spider-Ham is.
Spider-Ham: "You put all mimes to shame."
- Nova showing the pictures of Spider-Ham to the others (who laugh uncontrollably), showing Peter didn't quite avoid embarrassing pictures on Picture Day.
Spidey gets a dig in on Iron Man's security precautions.
Not a Toy
Doc Ock: The arc reactor... Why isn't it recharging?! It should be self-sustaining! I built it to your specifications!
Iron Man: Off the specs you stole from me. But I never keep everything on a computer. All the good stuff stays right up here. (points to head)
Spider-Man: Except for the activation codes, apparently.
(dramatic music stops)
Spider-Man: Shutting up now.
- The team is getting schooled by Captain America by every definition of the word. Spidey tries to web Cap, and gets Coulson instead. He ends up ripping off Colson's jacket and shirt... to reveal that he's wearing a replica of Cap's uniform under them.
- Spider-Man imagining if he had Cap's shield.
Spider-Man: Avengers assemble! (Iron Man, Thor, and Hulk come in) Avengers disassemble! (they leave) Avengers assemble again! (and they come back)
- When the shield lands on Dr Dooms embassy, Spider-Mans ask for the shield back, Doom replies with a missile.
- Spider-man imagining that with Cap's help, Doom would just give them back the shield.
Doom: (sniffs) I'm sorry. Here, take it... I just wanted to play with it for a bit.
Spider-man: Oh, I know, right? It's so light!
Doom: And colorful! (Enthusiastically rubs the shield before giving Caps a pair of adorable puppy-dog eyes)
- "Big ups to my boy Spider-man! For making all of my dreams come true." Those words should never come out of Doom's mouth.
Spider-man: I don't wanna be Doom's boy!
- At the very end, Agent Coulson loses Captain America's shield out the window again. Right after the beginning where he didn't want to get embarrassed in front of the captain.
- Spider-Man just discovered that it was Norman Osborn who was after him, he didn't now this and looked back at some cuts, where he is to busy hanging out with Harry, and was oblivious to Norman who was destroying pictures of Spidey who's right in front of him.
Peter: (To Harry) Oh yeah? Well your dad's a monster!
Norman: (comes up behind him, speaking in his normal voice and dressed in a suit despite being the Green Goblin) I'll be back later Harry. I left a thousand dollars in case you get hungry.
- "Wheel of Explanations".
Kraven the Hunter
- When Rhino is out to get Flash, Spider-Man tells Flash to run by getting in the school bus. Flash says he doesn't take the bus, but when he sees Rhino, he chickens out to the bus.
The Sinister Six
- At the end of "Kraven the Hunter", Spider-Man and White Tiger have a heartwarming moment together...which is then interrupted with Nova with his phone camera out and aiming a beam of light at her.
Nova: Hey, is she still catty? Get the dot, kitty! Make the internet smile!
[White Tiger promptly attacks him, causing him to drop his phone]
Spider-Man: [picks up the phone] Go get him tiger! But wait for me! Cat videos are huge!
- Spidey jumps on a Daily Bugle helicopter to perform an Epic Hail to his team in "The Sinister Six". JJJ of course, has a problem with this.
- This little gem.
Spider-Man: How many Sinister Six members does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Six. Four to hold Electro down, and one to screw in the bulb!
Electro: Heh, that actually works. You guys wanna... never mind.
- "Wheel of Bad News".
- When the team confront the Green Goblin as he's attacking Harry and Peter.
- Peter gets Iron Fist to fill in for him as Spider-Man in "Carnage". Besides the terrible acting, Iron Fist also gives his version of Spider-Man a very zen-filled vibe.
Itsy Bitsy Spider-Man
Journey of the Iron Fist
The Incredible Spider-Hulk
Stan By Me
- Before the battle starts, Spidey notes he doesn't want Flash Thompson touching his stuff. Gilligan Cut to Flash stealthily sneaking a lawn gnome under his jacket.
Guardians of the Galaxy
- The entire episode qualifies. However, there are some highlights.
- For starters, at the title screen Deadpool uses his katanas to slice "Spider-Man" off and replace it with Deadpool.
- In the Cold Open, as Spider-Man starts talking to the audience, Deadpool interrupts him and it cuts to him fighting ninjas.
- "It's like a Kung-Fu Fiesta! ARRIBA-SAN!"
- "Oh wait, healing factor. Yay me!"
- "ORIGIN STORY TIME! YEAH!!!!"
- "I was only a normal baby for 30 seconds. Then ninjas stole my mama." (Cue Ocular Gushers)
- The fact that Deadpool stole one of Tony Stark's jets...and left an "I.O.U." painted on the airway is HILARIOUS!
- Even funnier is that he crossed out Stark and spray-painted "Deadpool" on the side.
Spidey: Are you out of your mind?!
Spidey: Stop doing that! You can't attack me with puns!
Deadpool: Puns and bullets and pointy things, yes I can!
- Said fight goes between regular superhero brawl, running from various traps, and a Wimp Fight.
- Said Wimp Fight occurs while both of are *flying in the air from an exploding trap.*
- When we said "the entire episode" it was Not Hyperbole!
- Deadpool distracts Nick Fury by dressing up monkeys in Deadpool costumes!
- When both Deadpool and Spider-Man are falling out of a plane, they're both screaming...Spider-Man for dear life, Deadpool cause he thinks it's a screaming contest.
The Parent Trap
- Spidey getting listed low on the Super-Hero hierarchy in "Guardians of the Galaxy". Really low. Under Howard the Duck.
- "I am Groot!"
- Spidey's imagine spot of Rocket Raccoon mentoring Nova, he imagines Nova scavenging trash while Rocket was on his back like Yoda.
Blade and the Howling Commandos
Spider-Man: What if his parents have gone to the dark side?
(in Spidy's head)
Spider-Man: Come on, you were thinking of that, too.
- Coulson gives the info dump about the ankh. No one comments, but to do it, he uses a hologram program that turns the SHIELD helicarrier into an Egyptian temple and he's the only person to get a costume switch. He now looks like Indiana Jones. To top it all off, he knew exactly where they needed to look because he was a gold card member of the Museum of Natural History's FANCLUB.
- "Yeah, it's code for 'Dracula's coming back'"
- Spidey's exchange with Blade:
I see what you're doing. You sent Power Man
to punch a hole because you knew his invulnerability would protect him, right?
- Spidey's reaction to Max the Invisible Man...right after he gets pantsed by him and he actually gets excited at the idea of meeting Max.
- Spidey once again finding himself low in the hero hierarchy ranks.
Behind Hawkeye and
Nova? And who the heck is Squirrel Girl