Funny / UHF

A movie written by and staring "Weird Al" Yankovic, one of the funniest men alive, is about as gut-bustlingly hilarious as one might expect. Here's proof.

  • For starters, "SUPPLIES!".
  • The Raiders of the Lost Parody opening scene. All of it.
  • "Let's see what's in the box! ... Nothing! Absolutely nothing! Stupid! YOU'RE SO STUPID!"
  • The second bit with Uncle Nutsy's Clubhouse, wherein a recently dumped George tells the children about how horrible life is, followed by an incredibly pessimistic explanation of the Roadrunner cartoons as George slips into tears.
    George: Right now I'd like to show you one of my favorite cartoons. It's a sad, depressing story about a pathetic Coyote who spends every waking moment his life in the futile pursuit of a sadistic roadrunner, who mocks him and laughs at him as he's repeatedly crushed and maimed! I hope you enjoy it!
    • The fact that the above quote is the page quote for those cartoons on This Very Wiki.
    • The preceding bit where one of the children complains "I wanna go home" and George immediately snaps back with "Shut up, you little weasel!"
  • "Oh, Joel Miller! You just found the marble in the oatmeal! Oh, you're a lucky lucky lucky little boy, 'cause you know why? You get to drink from... the FIRE HOSE!"
    • What really makes the bit work is that the kid is as excited as an adult who just won the lottery would be; he can't get in front of the hose fast enough.
  • We don't need no stinking badgers!
  • "...With just a hint of cheese."
  • The end, where we find out Philo's true identity.
  • George's desperate phone call to Teri. Especially the high-pitched intake of breath at the end of the clip.
  • John Paragon's performance as Richard Fletcher, the middle-aged news correspondent still desperately trying to seek the approval of his father, who just happens to be R.J. Fletcher.
    R.J.: What do you think R.J. Fletcher Senior would be saying if he were alive today?!
    Richard: [whispered to his associates] Help! let me out of this box! I can't breathe in here! Hey, let me out!!
  • "Today, we're teaching poodles how to fly!" Tears. Breathing problems. Falling out of furniture.
    • Then there's the fact that Raul & his show just mysteriously appears with no input from either George or Bob.note 
      Bob: "Where did you find this guy?"
      George: "Me?! I thought you hired him."
  • Stanley basically driving Fletcher's gang of thugs bonkers while being held captive... especially his sudden, out-of-the-blue rendition of the Bonanza theme song. Stanley waving his mop around as a light saber (complete with *WHOOM WHOOM* sound effects) as well.
  • Stanley's speech (the Shout-Out to Network is of course a Moment of Awesome, but the fact that he takes the original angry rant and turns it into something about cleaning floors... And all set to the "Battle Hymn of the Republic".
    "This is my new mop. George, my friend, he gave me this mop. This is a pretty good mop. It's not as good as my first mop. I miss my first mop, but this is still a good mop. Sometimes you just have to take what life gives ya, 'cause life is like a mop and sometimes life gets full of dirt and crud and bugs and hairballs and stuff... you, you, you gotta clean it out. You, you, you gotta put it in here and rinse it off and start all over again and, and sometimes, sometimes life sticks to the floor so bad you know a mop, a mop, it's not good enough, it's not good enough. You, you gotta get down there, like, with a toothbrush, you know, and you gotta, you gotta really scrub 'cause you gotta get it off. You gotta really try to get it off. But if that doesn't work, that doesn't work, you can't give up. You gotta, you gotta stand right up. You, you gotta run to a window and say, 'Hey! These floors are dirty as hell, and I'm not gonna take it any more!'"
  • George at the Channel 8 building and finding Stanley fighting one of Fletcher's goons over the mop.
  • Spatula City, for being more than just a fleeting one-off, but drawn out to a full 60-second commercial with thoroughly-detailed set.
    Announcer: What better way to say "I love you" than with the gift... of a spatula?
  • When George first meets R.J., even the phone stops ringing.
  • Even the beginning has some hilarious moments:
  • Stanley's introduction in the film, where we get this exchange which establishes him as a total Cloudcuckoolander.
    Stanley: Uh, you wanted to see me sir?
    R.J.: That's right! I think you know why I called you in here?
    Stanley: Uhhhhhh...Because you're lonely?
  • Some of R.J. Fletcher's insults: "irresponsible pus-brains" & "a festering bowl of dog snot" come to mind. What can I say? The old guy loves his mucus.
    • "I own this place now." "You what?" "What's the matter, kid? Ya got wax in your ears?!"
  • Emo Phillips and his cameo as Joe Earley, shop teacher and (as usual with Emo) major Cloud Cuckoolander. Particularly, the Major Injury Underreaction to slicing off his thumb.
    Joe: Just call me Mr. Butterfingers! Is my face red.
    • In one cut longer version of the scene, Joe casually puts the thumb in his pocket and, in another cut, in his mouth, then continues, "Now over here, we have the drill press!" causing a look of pure horror on George's face.
    • Not really part of the film, but in Al's episode of VH-1's Behind the Music, Emo discusses his role in UHF and says, "I still get residuals," then holds a check up to the camera. It's a check for $0.06. "The gift that keeps on giving," Emo says.
  • George goes to Teri's place for dinner.
    Teri: "George, did you get fired again?"
    George: *screaming* "YES! YES! IT'S ALL TRUE! *bangs head on counter* I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT'S WRONG WITH MEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" *quick mood change* "So what's for dinner?"
  • Considering Al later said the scene was kind of tacked onto the movie, the whole "Town Talk" sequence is pretty funny. Especially....
    Announcer: "America watched in amazement as he unlocked the mysteries of Al Capone's glove compartment!"
    George: "Ahhh-hah...ROAD MAPS!!!"
    • And the big upcoming episode preview:
    George (with bandaged up nose): "Lesbian Nazi Hookers Abducted By UFOs and Forced Into Weight-Loss Programs, all this week on TOWN TALK! *gets violently hit by chair* "
    • Also:
    George: Sex with furniture. Whaddya think? (puts mic in front of an old woman in the audience)
  • The station's mop being revoked from Stanley after his termination from Channel 8. R.J., Jr. is tugging at the mop trying to pull it out of Stanley's hands, and Stanley ends up being dragged around on the floor as he desperately holds on. The funniest part is when George walks around the corner and finds them like this with no context.
  • Everything about the trailer for "Gandhi 2".
    Gandhi: "I'll have the steak, medium-rare!"
  • The DVD Commentary is truly something to behold from start to finish, although you may find yourself wondering why you can't switch the commentary on and off mid-movie. Well, here's why: with the commentary on, during the scene where Stanley's escaping the baddies in a huge chase, Al suddenly stands up into the frame out of nowhere, and shouts "THEY'RE COMING IN THROUGH THE WINDOW!!!" Later on, Al gets up to fetch Jay a donut. These and other Easter Egg content from the DVD didn't make it to the Blu-ray, unfortunately.
  • The awkward way that one of the Channel 62 commercials ends, with Stanley saying, "Be there!...... yeah."
  • Very blink-and-you-miss-it: When Stanley is first fired, he stumbles into the door and turns just in time to see it slam in his face. He then turns and starts mumbling angrily under his breath... then looks up and, realizing that he isn't on the other side of the door, immediately bolts.
  • The Overly Long Gag of the beggar helping the blind man solve a Rubix Cube.
    Blind Man: Is this it?
    Beggar: Nope!
    (Shuffles it)
    Blind Man: Is this it?
    Beggar: Nope!
    (Shuffles it)
    Blind Man: Is this it?
  • The entire scene of George prepping Stanley like a prize fighter as he breaks from the telethon, especially when Stanley asked George to get him some "really big bubbles."
  • In the scene where George is planning the new line-up and finds out that U62 is "number one", he mentions getting a call from "...a guy who says he can swallow his own face...can you believe that?..."
  • Conan the Librarian, anyone? "Don't you know da Dewey Decimal Seestahm?"
    • "I'm sorry... these books are a little overdue." "RAAAAAH!" [slices kid in half, literally, with his sword]
  • The Plots R Us commercial showing random body parts sticking out of the ground at the cemetery.
    Narrator: Remember, there is always plenty of free parking. And don't forget to visit our new salad bar.
  • George trying to get Bob to "cheer up" by hooking his fingers into either side of Bob's mouth and pulling them up to force him to smile, followed by that goofy "jowl" sound when he takes them out.