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Funny: Twisted
  • Drunk Jo in the Pilot was pretty funny.
  • In the second episode:
    • Jo and her friend Rico have a pretty funny dispute about the latter's love of Murder, She Wrote.
    • Danny and Jo on the swings outside his house:
    Jo: My parents left. They're giving Rico a ride home.
    Danny: They left their daughter behind with a psychopathic murderer? That's very irresponsible.

    (later)

    Jo: Try not to kill me, okay? It'll make me look really bad in front of my parents.
  • In the third episode:
    Scott: It's like [Jana's] giving my soul an STD.

    (Discussing an elementary school play on photosynthesis)
    Jo: I was such a kick-ass leaf.
    Danny: I was the sun.
  • Danny and Lacey are talking when Archie walks up:
    Archie: (to Lacey) This freak bothering you?
    Danny: Archie, I'm glad you asked. She kind of is.
  • Danny and Jo in the fifth episode:
    Danny: Well, I came, I saw, I didn't exactly conquer. But no one spat on me. Right? Bonus.

    (Jo shows up at Danny's house with her formal-dance dress)
    Jo: It was all Tess. You should have seen her. She was, like, foaming at the mouth with mom joy.
  • Danny has sneaked in to see Jo in her room (it's a dream):
    Danny: Jo Marie Masterson, are you hiding something from me?
  • At Danny's party, discussing Jo's date (which was not with Danny):
    Danny: Jo Marie Masterson, are you smitten with this guy?
  • Jo and Lacey talking in the ninth episode:
    Jo: I saw [Lacey's father] in the pantry with the gymnastics coach. Um... Mitch... he was Mitching... He's kissing Mitch... with his mouth... on his mouth.
  • After Rico sees the video of Lacey and Danny making out:
    Rico: You wore a mask?! Of the guy you were filming? Are you trying to be the creepiest guy in the world?
    Doug: No, it just happens.
    (It is kind of funny in context.)
  • "Out With the In Crowd". Chief Masterson notes that Rico doesn't like Tyler either.
    Chief Masterson: I guess, but [Jo's] taste in men leaves a lot to be desired.
    Rico: Amen to that. (beat) Did I say that out loud?
  • "Dead Men Tell Big Tales":
    • Jo bumps into Lacey at the diner, after which Lacey takes off and skedaddles back to Danny's hideout at Rico's place:
    Lacey: But I probably won't find him, so... (laughs) 'cause why would I find him? So I hope you find him. Let me... lemme know if you... I'll see you later.
    (later)
    Lacey: (Sighs) Of course I ran into Jo at the diner. She was looking for Rico, but I doubt she suspected anything, because... I was smooth, played it cool.
  • "Sins of the Father": Jo and Danny are having second thoughts about his escape plan. She'd originally promised to pack a bag with clothes and money.
    Jo: Fleeing is not the best plan.
    Danny: Plus I don't think your clothes would fit me all too well.
  • "Home is Where the Hurt is": Lacey and Danny attempting to "start over", and amusing themselves doing it.
  • "Danny Indemnity":
    Charlie: So do you come to this thing every year?
    Jo: Yeah. Attendance is kind of mandatory at my house.
    Charlie: Well, just do me a favor and slap me if I use the wrong fork or something. I am a little out of my element.
    Jo: What's your element?
    Charlie: Ah, I don't know if there's an actual name for it, but a microwave is usually involved.
  • "The Son Also Falls":
    • Karen at first doesn't realize who the attractive woman in Jack's place is, then she realizes who she is.
    Karen: Wow, you've - you've grown.
    Whitney: Power of boobs.
    • Jack arguing with his daughter Whitney and then telling her he'll take her to the "Fashion Farm", an apparently rather uncool place to go.
    • The guidance counsellor isn't quite the sixties-hippie retread type featured in Heathers, but she manages to get in a couple of rather overenthusiastic lines:
    Counsellor: Here at Green Grove, this isn't a "hallway," it's a corridor of learning.
    Danny: God, I barely recognized you without the pigtails.
    Whitney: Oh, little Danny Desai. Are you still afraid of spiders?
    Danny: Only the big ones.
  • "You're a Good Man, Charlie McBride":
    • Rico and Andie joking about resting her Presidential brain. Doubles as heartwarming as they decide to make a date night of it.
    • At the food truck night, Rico and Andie meet Jo and Charlie:
    Rico: Yep, just taking my lady out on the town.
    Jo: "My lady?" Are you a 15th-century knight all of a sudden?
    • Later, Rico and Andie are eating their dinner, and her phone rings; it's a call from someone at student council.
    Andie: (puts phone down on picnic table) Don't you hate it when people return calls at the dinner table?
    Rico: (Chuckles) Yeah.
    Andie: Okay, well, I'll be right back. (Picks up phone and leaves the table, leaving Rico dumbfounded)
    (It turns out later that it isn't that Andie has no social graces at all, it's that she's getting seriously rattled at thinking Rico wants to have sex with her that night.)
  • "Danny, Interrupted":
    • Lacey trying not to admit she's still a little bit uncomfortable about kissing Whitney; Whitney's gently sarcastic rejoinders add to the funny.
  • "A Tale of Two Confessions":
    • Chief Masterson has picked up Charlie and is driving:
    Charlie: (points at self-inflicted gash on his forehead) You know, Danny did this to me.
    Chief Masterson: Knowing Danny, he had a pretty good reason.
    • The Snark-to-Snark Combat between Whitney and her mother. It's even odds as to which of them can be more of an Alpha Bitch in that conversation, and then, right after ordering Whitney to "pack her bags".
    • Rico falling all over himself as he realizes he completely screwed the pooch missing his dinner date with Andie and her parents. Her parents' very brusque acknowledgement and conveyance of lack of impression with him is also amusing.
Twin PeaksFunny/Live-Action TVTwo and a Half Men

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