Funny / TUGS

    Original Series 
  • Little Ditcher's reaction to Warrior's plan to stop the logs from destroying Uptown Quay in Up River
    Warrior: "I'll stick Little Ditcher across the river, he'll put his stakes down on the riverbed, then he won't move!"
    Little Ditcher: No, I'll get smashed to bits instead!
  • Grampus taking Bluenose away in Munitions
    Grampus: "I've been used for a few strange jobs before, but never have I pulled in a switcher and taken away, a twitcher"
  • Top Hat, the Snark Tug.
  • The running "devious" joke in Sunshine.
  • Billy Shoepack's Epic Fail in "Trapped:"
    Billy: 3...2...1...FIRE!...... Wot's happened?
  • "There's no garbage today!"
  • In the finale episode we get this gem:
    OJ: Got an idea between us?
    Top Hat: No bright ones, OJ.
    OJ: ...Anybody got a stupid one, then?
    • When Top Hat wonders why he couldn't have been a liner instead:
    Salty's Lighthouse segments 
  • In "Otis the Movie Star" from "Sound Off", one scene has Mr. Boffo and Mr. Socko (Burke and Blair, respectively) looking around the harbor for future movie stars.
    Mr. Boffo: Hey, what about the fireboat, huh?
    Mr. Socko: Hmm... too young.
    Mr. Boffo: Hmm, what about the submarine? Looks old enough.
    Mr. Socko: And remake Underwaterworld? Never!
    • Speaking of making puns off movie titles, the two make a total of three in no less than three seconds.
    Mr. Boffo: You've probably seen our Boffo/Socko movies.
    Mr. Boffo Jurassic Harbor?
    Mr. Socko: Tugrats?
    Captain Star: Sorry, haven't seen too many movies lately.
  • "Grampus' Song" from "Stop the Music" has the Z-Tugs singing Grampus' song as a rap number. Sunshine's reaction is priceless.
    Grampus: That's not the song I wrote!
    Zorran: I know! We made it better!
    • Grampus first asks Big Stack for help, but it turns out he can't sing. After trying to sing it again, but louder, Warrior tells him to stop, saying he could sink a rock barge with that voice. He sings one last time, and that actually happens.
    Big Stack: Oh... Maybe it was just the wrong key.
  • "Bluenose Buds In" from "Boss Man" ends on Bluenose getting his comeuppance. It also doubles as a nice Mythology Gag to "Munitions", which the episode is loosely based on.
    Bluenose: What?! Grampus, what are you doing?
    Grampus: Sorry, Bluenose. Gotta take you to Drydock.
    Bluenose: Drydock? What did I do wrong?
    Grampus: Oh, nothing! Rule 63b: "Any vessel exposed to fire shall undergo a complete inspection, stem to stern".
    Bluenose: But I feel fine!
    Grampus: Sorry, sir! Rules are rules!
    Bluenose: At least save me the embarrassment of being towed in. I make it on my own steam!
    Grampus: Ah! 64q!
    Bluenose: Since when did you become such an expert?
    Grampus: Since you made me take your course! The rulebook! Know it and love it!