Funny / Trapped in the Closet

Chapter 1

• The delivery of these lines:
  I said, "Why don't I just go out the window?"
  "Yes, except for one thing, we on the fifth flo'."
  "Shit, think. Shit, think. Shit, quick, put me in the closet."
• After Sylvester is put into the eponymous closet, he pulls out a "Beretta" pistol that isn't even a Beretta, and we're forced to think why the hell did this man bring a gun to a one night stand?
• The ending, which just has to be seen to be believed.
  "He walks up to the closet"
  "He comes up to the closet"
  "Now he's at the closet"
  "Now he's opening the closet..."

Chapter 2

• Sylvester's first instinct after getting caught is to shoot somebody. This isn't a trope that's going away.
• Sylvester almost leaves until his paramour asks him if he'd like to know "how it all began?". He stays, and then threatens to kill everyone when it takes them too long to recount.
• Sylvester angrily gestures with his gun when the pastor interrupts his rant.

Chapter 3

• Sylvester quiets everyone by shooting up in the ceiling, undoubtably killing a random person on the floor above them.
• Sylvester reacting the news, as follows:
  "I close my mouth, and swallow spit"
  (liquid slosh sound)

Chapter 4

• The first instinct Sylvester's wife Gwen has to the accusation she is unfaithful is to have violent sex with Sylvester. He does not enjoy it.
  "Oh my goodness I'm think I'm about to climax!"
  And I say, "Cool, climax, just let go of my leg!"

Chapter 5

• All curses are suddenly censored by R. Kelly softy singing "doo!". It even does this on the 12-chapter medley form the original CD. Then after chapter 5 it goes back to being uncensored. Why?

Chapter 6

• Sylvester laughs a bit and then Gwen joins in and everything is immediately forgiven. What even?
• The policeman decides it's a good idea to taunt Sylvester over the fact he slept with his wife. It doesn't turn out well.

Chapter 7

• Gwen's brother just sort of shakes off being shot.
• After Twan is shot, the policeman says he can't get involved since he has a wife to protect, and then cocks his gun like he's going to fucking kill the witnesses. What the fuck??
• Twan just goes into the bathroom with a bullet stuck in his arm and comes out with a bandage totally fine. Yep.
• Someone knocks on the front door the entire cast there freaks out considering their luck today with mysterious people pull out their guns and open the door, and when it turns out to be their neighbor Rosie, Twan is still pointing his gun at her.
• That being said: the reveal of Rosie, especially the backing echo of "Spatulaaaaa..."

Chapter 8

• The policeman calls his wife Bridget and, oh my God, her voice must be heard to fully capture how absolutely hilarious it is.
• Bridget is evidently the worst liar in the world, and is it totally obvious she is hiding something as soon as she appears. Apparently James the policeman is equally as stupid.
  She rushes to the door, kiss 'm on the cheek, says, "I was in the restroom"
  Then he said, "What'cha say that for?"
  Then she says, "I don't know" (nervous smile)
  Then he steps back, take a look at her, and says, "What'chu all jittery for?"
  Then she says, "Sweetheart (Beat) maybe it's that time of the month?"
  Then he says, "Maybe? Maybe that time of the month?"
• Bridget very obviously hiding the fact she's cheating on James.
  • This YouTube commenter perfectly sums it up:
    Censari Longmeat: why the fuck is everyone cheating on one another.

Chapter 9

• R. Kelly is just in the policeman's closet wathcing all this hell unfold silently.
• James figures it out:
  And then he say, "move"
  She say, "no"
  He say, "move"
  She say, "no"
  "BITCH MOVE!"
  She move!
• R. Kelly just nonchalantly spits out "Now he notices the pie on the counter! One slice is missing! Now the story's gettin' scary! As he comes to realise...Bridget is allergic to cherries!"
• R. Kelly bursts out the closet, pauses time, screams that the lover has dwarfism, then fucking walks back into the closet like something more interesting is in there

Chapter 10

• The entirety of chapter ten is almost as good as the end of the chapter that preceded it.
• James, as he is described to "continue to ruff up the midget as if the midget was under attack."
• James points his gun at "the midget" because he "has the right to shoot". "The midget" promptly shits himself. This goes mercifully unmentioned through the rest of the chapter...and then Sylvester and Twan break into the room, only to be disgusted by the smell and ask "What the hell?" - a sentiment probably shared by the audience at this point.

Chapter 11

• Sylvester tries to calm down the couple by asking them to put their guns down, and they bicker over who should do it first, so he tries to resolve it by telling them to do it at the same time. They refuse. 'Twan decides to solve the problem by demanding that Sylvester gives him the gun so he would shoot them all.
• James and Team are surprised to hear that "the midget"'s name is Big Man. Though, he reveals that it isn't about his body size.
  • Sylvester randomly says that he regrets going to Parjay's, and Big Man reveals that he works there which is why he looked familiar. Sylvester then decides to shake hands with a stripper in the middle of a possible three-way gun fight. A double random whammy!
• Sylvester and James bickering about the latter knowing Chuck and Rufus, despite James denying it five seconds later. In the middle of it all, 'Twan wonders who the hell are they talking about.
• R. Kelly randomly comes out of the closet to sing that Big Man is the baby's daddy. The sight of him standing in the kitchen while a shocked cop, an unconscious man with dwarfism, a crying woman and two disturbed men are present is hilarious.
  • Funny Background Event: 'Twan silently asks Sylvester for his gun, and Sylvester gives him the gun in a way that says, "Just take it, you hotheaded fool. I'm done." As Sylvester leaves the house, 'Twan switches between pointing at the shocked James, and the unconscious Big Man.

Chapter 12

• Catchy and Chuck duke it out after Catchy implies that Chuck has an STD, and Rufus' fooling around might have cause him to transmit it to her. She has no idea how right she is.
  • The music randomly stopping to emphasis the duo's catfight.
• Gwen calling Cathy to lay down everything that happened the last 8 chapters. But she starts by talking about the "old crusty wig-wearing ass hoe" that Sylvester came to Parjay's with. Catchy realises who she's talking about as she whips her head to look at the wig she took off in Chapter 1.

To be sorted:

• The dance Twan does when he yells "IMMA COME BACK HERE AND SET THIS MUTHAFUCKA OFF!" in chapter 17. It's at about 0:50.
• There's also a funny bit at the end of chapter 17, where Sylvester says to Twan "Bring your ass, nigga!" to the tune of the song just as the latter is motioning to strike Roxanne.
• R. Kelly's MTV Video Music Awards performance of the song. He can never un-perform it.
• Twan tries to light up a joint in Sylvester's car, and: "Sylvester says, 'You're crazier than a fish with titties if you think I gonna let you smoke that shit up in my car".
• In Chapter 22, where the rumor of The Package is being spread throughout the cast, Gwendolyn calls Sylvester to urgently talk about it. Sylvester immediately begins denying that it was a drug deal.

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