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Funny: Total Recall (1990)
  • Beeeny!! SHKLEEEEW EWE!!
  • "Hahahahaha! You think this is the real Quaid? It is!"
  • Ahnold's animatronic "big lady" disguise fails him, so he pulls off the fake head and throws to a guard coming for him:
    Quaid: Here. Catch.
    [A surprised security guard catches the head]
    Disembodied Fake Head: Get ready for a surpriiise!
  • "In 30 seconds you'll be dead, and I'll blow this place up and be home in time for cornflakes."
  • "You are not you. You're me." "...No shit."
    • "Just shove real hard."
  • Lori's death scene:
    Lori: Doug, honey... you wouldn't hurt me, would you, sweetheart? Sweetheart, be reasonable. After all, we're married! [Lori goes for her gun, Quaid shoots her through the head]
    Douglas Quaid: Consider that a divorce.
    [Melina gets up]
    Melina: That was your wife? [Quaid nods] What a bitch!


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