Funny: Total Recall (1990)
- The Johnnycab scene:
Johnnycab: Please state the street and number.Quaid: Drive! drive!Johnnycab: I'm not familiar with that address. Would you please repeat the destination?Quaid: Anywhere just go! Go!Johnnycab: I'm not familiar with that address. Would you please repeat the destination?Quaid: Shit! shit!Johnnycab: Would you please repeat the destination?Quaid: [Quaid rips the Johnnycab out and starts to drive himself] Aaahhh!
Quaid: (confused) Where am I?
- In an earlier scene:
Johnnycab: You're in a Johnnycab.
Quaid: How did I get in here?
Johnnycab: I'm sorry. Would you please rephrase the question?
Quaid: How did I get in this taxi?
Johnnycab: The door opened, you got in. Hell of a day, isn't it? (rolls his eyes)
- Beeeny!! SHKLEEEEW EWE!!
- "Hahahahaha! You think this is the real Quaid? It is!"
- Ahnold's animatronic "big lady" disguise fails him, so he pulls off the fake head and throws to a guard coming for him:
Quaid: Here. Catch.
[A surprised security guard catches the head]
Disembodied Fake Head: Get ready for a surpriiise!
- After a door gets shut, causing Richter to lose Quaid, this happens.
Richter: Open the goddamn door!Everett: I can't.Richter: [grabs him] OPEN IT!Everett: [pushes him off] THEY'RE ALL CONNECTED!
[They both then just awkwardly stand and look at each other for a moment]
- "In 30 seconds you'll be dead, and I'll blow this place up and be home in time for cornflakes."
- This little exchange:
Richter: I want that fucker dead!Helm: I don't blame you, man. I wouldn't want a guy like Quaid porkin' my old lady.Richter: You saying she liked it?Helm: Uh... no... I'm sure she hated every minute of it.
- "They were going to kill me! BUT I KILLED DEM!"
- "You are not you. You're me." "...No shit."
- "Just shove real hard."
- Lori's death scene:
Lori: Doug, honey... you wouldn't hurt me, would you, sweetheart? Sweetheart, be reasonable. After all, we're married! [Lori goes for her gun, Quaid shoots her through the head]Douglas Quaid: Consider that a divorce.[Melina gets up]Melina: That was your wife? [Quaid nods] What a bitch!