Followed up with Rob's later comments: (when discussing R2's motivations) "Am I concentrating on this in a desperate attempt to ignore the fact that Optimus Prime's asshole is apparently the happiest, most beautiful place in the universe? POSSIBLY."
Rob on the fact that Jabba owns Jar-Jar Bink's severed, carbon frozen penis: "I'm beginning to feel that Jabba has some issues."
"OPTIMUS PRIME HAS DISNEYLAND IN HIS ASS, WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT"
"Leia, your leather clad bikini lighten up my boron buttocks!"
Rob: WARNING: WHAT FOLLOWS IS THE LYRICS TO A SONG TITLED "LOVE IS LASAGNA" AS WRITTEN BY GARFIELD. PLEASE HOLD ALL HEAD ASPLOSIONS UNTIL THE END OF THE PERFORMANCE.
Fic: "Oh Babe when I see your eyes / It is making my pants rise / The feeling is out of control / From my lovin there is no parole / Love Is Lasagna / Food that is Feeding my soul / Love Is Lasagna / It is not no casserole / Oh Babe I am at the end of my ropes / I want to taste your sweet cantaloupes / Your body is buffet of desire / In bedroom I will never tire / Love is Lasagna / We will be melting like Mozzarella cheese / Love is Lasagna / My appetite only you can appease / Oh babe you are delicious like lasagna feast / I will devour your body whole like beast / Lonely Man Walking Lonely Path Alone / Now we are together all night we will moan / Love is Lasagna / One serving is never enough / Love is Lasagna / You are knowing I like it rough / Love is Lasagna / Soft and gooey give me one more slice / Love is Lasagna / I will be taking you to paradise
Sango: "Why else do you think he's wearing a huge metal codpiece?"
Abraxas: "but a decepticon's balls are supposed to be properly displayed! a decepticon's balls make autobots question their trips through Potimus's rectum and make John Torturro bend over like a bitch! this...this is not how a decepticon's balls should be cared for. Devastator - I am filled with rage at how you abuse your matrix given balls!"
Sango: "Is there a certain way Decepticon balls should smell, Vegetacon?"
Abraxas: "like 137 octane gasoline!"
Sango: "Maybe Exxon-Mobil should tap the untapped reservoir of Deceptiballs."
Abraxas: "it's ... it's ... it's lucas - he's trying to break free of the colon! i'm deciphering the message, yes, it's coming in .. it's ... 'BEANO'? what could this mean?? george, we'll get you free of that colon, just hang on!"
Sago: "when 900 years old you reach, have sphincter control, you will not."
Q: I don't find Rosie Huntington-Whiteley that attractive.
A: Well, Michael Bay sure does, because the first scene after the title is a close-up of her ass, only in panties, walking up the stairs for a good 30 seconds. And again, all the males in the movie leer at her unsettlingly. Even Bumblebee, when he first sees Rosie, freaks out and breaks a chandelier. Ha ha, it's funny because she's so attractive ha ha ROBOTS WANT TO FUCK OUR WOMEN.