Funny / Topless Robot

Fan Fiction Friday
  • The Tohts in Fan Fiction Friday never cease to crack me up.
  • This gem of a line from the Comics Nix classic tale of star-crossed lovers Optimus Prime and Princess Leia about Optimus's anus, which R2-D2 enters...yes, really: "A beautifully adorned rectum, full of portraits of Prime's human friends that already visited the place."
    • Followed up with Rob's later comments: (when discussing R2's motivations) "Am I concentrating on this in a desperate attempt to ignore the fact that Optimus Prime's asshole is apparently the happiest, most beautiful place in the universe? POSSIBLY."
    • Rob on the fact that Jabba owns Jar-Jar Bink's severed, carbon frozen penis: "I'm beginning to feel that Jabba has some issues."
    • "OPTIMUS PRIME HAS DISNEYLAND IN HIS ASS, WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT"
    • "Leia, your leather clad bikini lighten up my boron buttocks!"
    • That penis was the property of a long dead alien. Jar Jar Binks to be more exact.
      • *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* ("I think only four Head Explodes at this news shows a remarkable amount of restraint on my part.")
  • *whickers*
  • Yoda and Tequila. All of it.
  • Rob's response to a line about a baton stuck up Parappa's rear end in this FFF:
    "Fic": CHAPTER 3 MEANWILE suny was at police car wit Parapa and say "woooooooow it really in their like a sord in a stone! how we get it out"?
    Rob: WE MUST FIND THE TRUE KING OF ENGLAND
  • Rob's reaction to the infamously Sick and Wrong fic Chibi Usas Seventh Birthday:
    Fic: "I should go first, I'm her mother!
    Rob: *Toht*
    —-
    Fic: "Chibiusa, you're a bit too tender for anything vaginal, so I'm goingto push this banana up your asshole.",
    Rob: *Scanners head*
  • Rob taking on an incomprehensible Mind Screw of a Saved by the Bell fic.
  • The thoroughly disturbing Rebecca and Brianna's [REDACTED] Adventure original character fic, which so horrified Rob that the ending earned eight Scanners pictures.
  • One particularly unsettling story (listed on the site under the heading "???") was summed up by Rob's fantastic line: "When chickens purr in an erotic fan fic, you know bad shit is about to go down."
  • "INTRODUCE YOURSELF TO THE GODDAMN PUMPS, FUCKSTICK."
  • The complete and total insanity of Garfield: Royal Rescue 1 and 2.
    • Especially the song "Love is Lasagna"
      Rob: WARNING: WHAT FOLLOWS IS THE LYRICS TO A SONG TITLED "LOVE IS LASAGNA" AS WRITTEN BY GARFIELD. PLEASE HOLD ALL HEAD ASPLOSIONS UNTIL THE END OF THE PERFORMANCE.
      Fic: "Oh Babe when I see your eyes / It is making my pants rise / The feeling is out of control / From my lovin there is no parole / Love Is Lasagna / Food that is Feeding my soul / Love Is Lasagna / It is not no casserole / Oh Babe I am at the end of my ropes / I want to taste your sweet cantaloupes / Your body is buffet of desire / In bedroom I will never tire / Love is Lasagna / We will be melting like Mozzarella cheese / Love is Lasagna / My appetite only you can appease / Oh babe you are delicious like lasagna feast / I will devour your body whole like beast / Lonely Man Walking Lonely Path Alone / Now we are together all night we will moan / Love is Lasagna / One serving is never enough / Love is Lasagna / You are knowing I like it rough / Love is Lasagna / Soft and gooey give me one more slice / Love is Lasagna / I will be taking you to paradise
      Rob: *10Head Asplodes*
  • "Kids come running for the great taste of Tits!"
  • "BATMAN JUST TALKED TO HIS OWN DICK."
  • "Now imagine it covered in vaginal lubricant. IF I HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT YOU DO TOO"
  • "Oooorrrrgggghhhh!"
  • "Um, yeah. There's nothing quite as erotic as rubbing your dick on a pile of rocks. Why, I can't walk down a cobbled road without wanting to drop to the ground and start humping it."
  • The entirety of Rob's reactions throughout "The Miracle Of Life", including "This is happening", and his reaction to Starscream's caesarean section.
    • Also funny: the author saw the review (as have other fanfic writers when Rob covered their works) and was very passive-aggressive and miffed. Because lord knows the right one in this equation was the guy who made Starscream pregnant.
  • The utter insanity of what Rob calls "The Fievel Story."
  • "DARTH VADER JUST BLUSHED. ... FUCKING THINK ABOUT THAT."
  • "Coming Back to Me is a goldmine of hilarious Rob reactions.
    • Ahem. (screams incoherently)
    • WHEN WILL DEATH COME
    • THERE IS NO GOD
    • OH MY FUCKING GOD THIS IS A MENTAL THREESOME INVOLVING ELLIOTT, E.T. AND A FLOWER AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
    • Ahem. NUCLEAR EXPLOSION

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