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toys

• Basically the entire movie from opening credits to closing. But to be more specific:
• The opening montage shows Michael directly contradicting EVERYTHING he's teaching his acting students about following direction.
• The toast at Michael's birthday party:
  "To the man who's taught us what acting is all about -"
  "UNEMPLOYMENT!"
• George's reaction to his first sight of Michael in all his feminine glory:
  "God, I begged you to get therapy!"
• This exchange:
  George: Michael, you have nothing to say to women. You are a man.
  Michael: I realize that of course. But I'm also an actress!
• The reaction to The Reveal:
  Jeff: (watching from home) That is one *nutty* hospital.
• The conversations between Michael and George are generally comedy gold, but especially funny is when Michael wants to know why George can't get him work:
  Michael: Are you saying that nobody in New York will work with me?
  George: No, no, that's too limited... nobody in Hollywood wants to work with you either. I can't even set you up for a commercial. You played a *tomato* for 30 seconds - they went a half a day over schedule because you wouldn't sit down.
  Micheal: Of course. It was illogical.
  George: You. Were. A. ''Tomato''! A tomato doesn't have logic! A tomato can't move!
  • And then later, when Michael is trying to describe the craziness of his (and Dorothy's) life:
  Michael: You should have seen the look on her face when she thought I was a lesbian.
  George: "Lesbian"? You just said gay.
  Michael: No, no, no - Sandy thinks I'm gay, Julie thinks I'm a lesbian.
  George: I thought Dorothy was supposed to be straight?
  Michael: Dorothy is straight. Tonight Les, the sweetest, nicest man in the world asked me to marry him.
  George: A guy named Les wants you to marry him?
  Michael: No, no, no - he wants to marry Dorothy.
  George: Does he know she's a lesbian?
  Michael: Dorothy's not a lesbian!
  George: I know that, does *he* know that?
  Michael: Know what?
  George: That, er, I...I don't know.
• Dorothy's "Shame on you, you macho shithead!"