Funny / Tootsie

  • The opening montage shows Michael directly contradicting EVERYTHING he's teaching his acting students about following direction.
  • The toast at Michael's birthday party:
    "To the man who's taught us what acting is all about -"
    "UNEMPLOYMENT!"
  • During "Dorothy"'s screen test:
    Producer: I'd like to make her look a little more attractive. How far can you pull back?
    Cameraman: How do you feel about Cleveland?
  • George's reaction to his first sight of Michael in all his feminine glory:
    "God, I begged you to get therapy!"
  • This exchange:
    George: Michael, you have nothing to say to women. You are a man.
    Michael: I realize that, of course. But I'm also an actress!
  • The reaction to The Reveal:
    Jeff: (watching from home) That is one *nutty* hospital.
    • Also John's stunned reaction:
      "Does Jeff know?"
  • The conversations between Michael and George are generally comedy gold, but especially funny is when Michael wants to know why George can't get him work:
    Michael: Are you saying that nobody in New York will work with me?
    George: No, no, that's too limited... nobody in Hollywood wants to work with you either. I can't even set you up for a commercial. You played a *tomato* for 30 seconds - they went a half a day over schedule because you wouldn't sit down.
    Michael: Of course. It was illogical.
    George: You. Were. A. ''Tomato''! A tomato doesn't have logic! A tomato can't move!
    Michael: That's what I said. So if he can't move, how's he gonna sit down, George? I was a stand-up tomato: a juicy, sexy, beefsteak tomato. Nobody does vegetables like me. I did an evening of vegetables off-Broadway. I did the best tomato, the best cucumber... I did an endive salad that knocked the critics on their ass!
    • And then later, when Michael is trying to describe the craziness of his (and Dorothy's) life:
    Michael: You should have seen the look on her face when she thought I was a lesbian.
    George: "Lesbian"? You just said gay.
    Michael: No, no, no - Sandy thinks I'm gay, Julie thinks I'm a lesbian.
    George: I thought Dorothy was supposed to be straight?
    Michael: Dorothy is straight. Tonight Les, the sweetest, nicest man in the world, asked me to marry him.
    George: A guy named Les wants you to marry him?
    Michael: No, no, no - he wants to marry Dorothy.
    George: Does he know she's a lesbian?
    Michael: Dorothy's not a lesbian!
    George: I know that, does he know that?
    Michael: Know what?
    George: That, er, I... I don't know.
  • Dorothy's "Shame on you, you macho shithead!"
  • Dorothy is quite the snarker:
    John Van Horn: I'm just an untalented old has-been.
    Dorothy: Were you ever famous?
    John Van Horn: No.
    Dorothy: Then how can you be a has-been?
  • Sandy tearing huge mouthfuls out of the scenery, chewing them up and spitting them out during her break-up scene with Michael. She is indeed a professional actress.
  • Les: "The only reason you're still alive is I never kissed you."
  • Dorothy: What kind of mother would I be if I didn't give my girls tits... tips?
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Funny/Tootsie