Funny / Thomas the Tank Engine

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  • In "Edward and Gordon", there's Gordon ranting angrily when he is pulling a goods train instead of the express, much to Edward's amusement:
    Gordon: "A goods train! A goods train! A goods train! A goods train! The shame of it! The shame of it! Oh, the shame of it!"
    • Later, as Edward came to push Gordon's train up the hill:
      Edward: I'm ready!
      Gordon: No good!
  • In "The Sad Story of Henry", The Fat Controller tells the passengers that his doctor had forbidden him to pull and push the Henry out of the tunnel.
  • In "Edward, Gordon, and Henry", Gordon breaks down in front of the tunnel where Henry is walled up. Since Gordon has been taunting Henry about his predicament for months, Henry -and the audience- both enjoy a good laugh at Gordon's expense.
    • Also, there's The Fat Controller leaning out of the window to wave at Edward and Henry, but the train was too fast that his top hat blew into the fields that a goat came to eat it, much to The Fat Controller's dismay.
  • In "Thomas and the Breakdown Train", there's Thomas' expression as he watches James being lifted by the breakdown cranes.
  • Just like above, Thomas shows this face in "Thomas Goes Fishing" when he hears about fish in his boiler.
  • In "Thomas, Terence, and the Snow", there's Thomas' driver yelling at Thomas for damaging his snowplough and the shed doors shut.
    Driver: You're a very naughty engine!
    * Door slams*
  • "Tenders and Turntables" has some amusing moments:
    • The beginning scene where Gordon, Henry, and James are grumpily shunting their own coaches:
      Gordon, Henry, and James: We get no rest! We get no rest!
      Coaches: You're lazy and slack! You're lazy and slack!
    • The narration mentioning that Gordon thought The Fat Controller had given him a tender to show how important he was.
    • There's Gordon pulling the Express backwards and a young boy mistakes him for a tank engine. This is followed up with Thomas' snark.
      Thomas: Hello! Playing tank engines? Sensible engine. Take my advice: Scrap your tender and have a nice bunker!
    • After that, it was James' turn to laugh at Gordon:
      Gordon: Take care! You might stick, too!
      James: No fear! I'm not so fat as you!
    • Let's not forget James spinning around the turntable. Then Gordon, who was watching him, tease him.
      Gordon: Well, well, are you playing roundabouts?
    • In the ending, Gordon, Henry, and James discuss their misfortunes earlier that day - Gordon pulling the Express backwards, James spinning around the turntable, and going to dirty sidings, all complete with Gordon saying "Eeech!"
  • In "The Flying Kipper", there's this dialogue between the driver, fireman, and conductor inside the brakevan.
    Conductor: The Kipper is due.
    Fireman: Who cares?! This is good cocoa.
  • Whistles & Sneezes, some boys throw stones at Henry. He gets his revenge on the return journey by "sneezing" all over them, covering them in ash.
  • Toby and the Stout Gentleman: Bridget mistaking Toby for an electric tram is good for a laugh.
  • Thomas In Trouble: Thomas telling the Policeman that he doesn't catch cows when the policeman asks where his Cowcatchers is.
    • From the same episode, yelling "Oi, You!" at Toby, when Toby rings his bell at him and frightens him.
  • In Dirty Objects/James in a Mess, there's James expressing his disgust at pulling trucks by shouting "Dirty cars from dirty sidings! Eeech!" It's funnier in the UK version where after his theme ends, he says "Eeech!"
  • Off The Rails is particularly amusing, as Gordon is being more pompous than usual, thinking how large and splendid he is. Henry arrives and completely destroys that image by calling "Peep! Peep! Peep! Hello! Fat face!".
    • Also, there's Gordon's reaction about having to pull trucks instead of coaches. Then there's his grumbling when Edward has to push him to the turntable when his fire wouldn't start.
      Gordon: I won't go! I won't go!
    • The song some boys sing to insult Gordon.
  • Thomas and Edward's exchange at the start of "Saved from Scrap":
    Edward: I'm going to the scrapyard today.
    Thomas: What, already? You're not that old!
  • The part where Percy annoys Gordon and James at the start of "Duck Takes Charge" in this exchange:
    Percy: Do you know what?
    Gordon: What?
    Percy: Do you know what?
    Gordon: Silly! Of course I don't know what! If you don't tell me what "what" is!
  • In "Percy Takes the Plunge", there's the scene where Thomas reminds Percy of the time went past danger and fell down a mine:
    Thomas: I went past danger once and fell down a mine.
    Percy: I can't see a mine.
  • Another unintentionally funny part is of course the reaction when a similar accident happens of Duck crashing into a barber's shop in "A Close Shave". The barber is annoyed because he frightened the customers and decides to get back at the engine by covering half his face in shaving cream. The Barber and his customers are lucky to be alive, frankly.
    Barber: It's only an engine.
  • This line from "Thomas Comes to Breakfast":
    Stationmaster's wife: "Just look what you've done to our breakfast!"
    • This is especially funny because before, Thomas had crashed into the stationmaster's kitchen and demolished a good part of his house's frame. The wife's response is to yell at him for ruining breakfast.
    • Just to reiterate, she was more upset about having to make another breakfast than about an engine suddenly being INSIDE THEIR HOUSE.
    • Lady! He nearly crushed you and your family! Get some perspective!
    • The stationmaster himself, who's described as furious at Thomas for wrecking their home, but the expression on him is more of depression than fury; given there's a freaking engine inside his house, he SHOULD have looked furious.
    • Similarly, when Thomas' driver praises him and wishes he had more of him, Thomas is described as having "become conceited"; Oddly, his expression too looks more like one of feeling let down or being depressed, not smug as he should otherwise have looked.
  • In "Woolly Bear", a crate of treacle looks like it's about to slip right out of the chains it's being held up with and fall onto Percy. Instead, the chain snaps.
  • In "Thomas, Percy, and the Dragon", Percy, who has to stay in a siding until the jammed points were repaired, has a speechless reaction after his crew tells him that they are going home for tea.
  • From "The Trouble with Mud", there's one moment when Gordon bumps the trucks one by one.
    Gordon: That's for you! And you! And you!
  • This Exchange from "Tender Engines":
    Duck: I wouldn't drink all that water if I were you. It might give you boiler ache.
    Gordon: Pah! What's this? Educating Gordon Day? First James, now you, Duck! Big Engines have big needs, little engines are just annoying.
    Duck: Don't say I didn't warn you.
  • From "Percy, James, and the Fruitful Day", Percy gets covered in fruit after an accident. The Fat Controller gives him this lecture:
    The Fat Controller: "Percy, you are not to blame for the switch failure, but I do not run a jam factory!"
  • There's the Fat Controller reprimanding Duncan for his rough travelling at the end of "Home at Last".
    The Fat Controller: Listen to me! There is nothing wrong with that tunnel. You stuck in it because you tried to do Rock and Roll! Tunnels are not dance floors, and you are not a pop star!
    • Even funnier is his closing threat:
    "If it happens again, I shall find ways to cut you down to size. In other words, your career is...(clears his throat/chuckles)...on the line! Need I say more?
  • The Refreshment Lady's famous "WHAT DO YOU MEAN-A BY LEAVING ME BEHIND?!!"
  • Sir Handel vs George in "Steam Roller".
  • This gem from "Henry and the Elephant":
    Henry: An elephant pushed me... An elephant hooshed me.
    • While the other narrators just make a screaming noise when the elephant squirts Henry, George Carlin makes an actual elephant noise. It's hilarious to listen to.
    • Also in the start of the episode, there's Henry's retort to James after the latter reminded him of his initial fear of the rain:
      Henry: I'm not afraid of getting wet anymore! Anyway, you look silly enough to be a clown! You should join the circus!
  • Cranky Bugs Cranky gets knocked over due to a ship crashing into the engine shed and the roof pushing Cranky down. The engines are crying for help, but Cranky rather pathetically says he can't. Despite the seriousness of the situation, it was poetic to see Cranky being brought down a peg due to him being a Jerkass to Thomas and Percy.
  • Horrid Lorry The episode about a group of rude lorries who take over the engines' work sees one of the lorries lose control and fall into a gorge. Instead of the usual "No one was hurt" narration, we see the driver recovering by the accident, cross-eyed and with a cartoonish lump on his head along with a bird tweeting sound effect, complaining about the road conditions.
    Driver: Rotten roads...
  • Most of Lady Hatt's Birthday Party. The Fat Controller's attempts to get the party. The whole journey was downright hilarious.
  • Many moments with the trucks, but specifically in the episode "James and the trouble with trees".
    Truck: "Your colour's nice James, pity about your face though." (Cue that goddamn laughter the trucks have)
  • One of the episodes is called Baa!. No really.
  • This gem from Haunted Henry:
    Edward: Whenever that owl hoots, a mist rolls in. And there's a legend that when the mist's about, there's a ghost about too. Take care on the old line, Henry.
    Henry: Stupid bird!
  • in "Thomas, Percy and the Squeak", While Thomas is picking up alecia botti he keeps hearing a squeak, despite having just been cleaned. When Alicia Botti is about to board she spots a mouse inside Clarabel, she screams so loud and long that windows break all over the island!
  • "Thomas and the Jet Engine":
    • Cranky's reaction after accidentally starting the jet engine with his hook.
      Cranky: Uh-oh...
    • Gordon at one point boasts about being the fastest engine. Then Thomas whizzes by.
    • We also get this gem:
      Bertie: Wanna race, Thomas?
      (Thomas whooshes past)
      Bertie: Uh... never mind.
  • This gem from Scaredy Engines
    Duck: It was naughty of Thomas to tease you, Percy.
    Percy: He's only playing! I hope he hurries up. I don't want him to be late for the fireworks.
    Duck: I don't think he'll be late.
  • In Thomas' Trusty Friends, the construction team is sent to demolish a factory. They have to knock down a specific wall of the factory first. After an accident by Ned, the whole factory gets destructed in a marvelous fashion. When we see the smoke clear, the wall they were meant to knock down first is still standing before slowly collapsing. The aftermath of the destruction for Thomas and Oliver the excavator is rather funny too.
  • Gordon's reaction when Percy informs him that he's temporarily in charge for today in "The Green Controller".
    • One mangled recollection of the Fat Controller's orders leads to James getting painted like a bee. Even funnier that Percy gives this order with utter sternness while James looks completely mortified.
  • In "Thomas and the Birthday Mail", there's Rosie shouting "It's meeeeee!" when she finds Thomas trapped in the avalanche.
  • Most of James and Toby's interaction in "James To The Rescue". After being assigned to rescue a derailed Gordon, Toby meekly interrupts James' less than well-tactized plans to rerail Gordon, continuously suggesting to get Rocky, to an increasingly frustrated but adjustedly polite "NO!...Thank you...Toby". Toby's reaction to James trying to shunt Gordon upright is pretty funny too.
  • This conversation in "Jumping Jobi Wood!":
    Dash: Please, please, can we go too?
    Bash: We know just what to do!
    Ferdinand: That's right, boss.
    Sir Topham Hatt: (offended) Boss?!
    Thomas: (whispering) Sir Topham Hatt.
    (The Logging Locos are embarrassed.)
    Dash: Sir...Topham...
    Bash: ...Hatt.
    Ferdinand: That's right...
  • Edward's confused "what just happened?" expression as Flynn pulls up beside him and sprays water all over him, in "Fiery Flynn". Also, the conversation afterwards:
    Edward: I don't need saving!
    Edward: No!
  • Bill and Ben's arguments from Season 17. Their new accents help too.
  • Whenever Sir Robert Norramby is on scene.
    • Especially his first scene. To give you a summary: Everybody throws Sir Robert a party at Knapford Station. When he arrives on Spencer, everybody cheers and the Brass Band plays. Robert, gets out of the coach, just waves at the people, says "Oh, who's the party for? Anyway, I must go" and gets in the coach again. The band plays while they leave the station and everybody is shocked.
  • In the ending of "The Thomas Way", Duck discussed with Thomas that there are three ways of doing things - The Great Western Way, the wrong way, and The Thomas Way, yet The Great Western Way is usually the best. Cue to both engines laughing.
  • In "Splish, Splash, Splosh!", Thomas splashes through a puddle, sending water on top of the Fat Controller and Alicia Botti. As it comes down on them, the Fat Controller tries, in vain, to shield Alicia with his top hat.
  • Percy falling into a pit of moat alongside Stephen in "The Phantom Express". Then Stephen says, casually, "I see you've found the meeting place."
  • In "Not So Slow Coaches", Annie and Clarabel are accidentally coupled to Caitlin's train, causing them to panic when Caitlin accelerates down the Main Line.
    Annie: I don't like this at all!
    Clarabel: I've got my eyes closed!
    Annie: Does it help?
    Clarabel: No! Not really!
  • "Flatbeds of Fear": "I don't want to hear the Flatbeds of Fear...I don't want to hear the Flatbeds of Fear..."
  • In "Disappearing Diesels", the diesels are hiding from Paxton as part of a joke. Den and Dart are hiding behind a line of trucks. Paxton calls out if anyone's there. Den says "No" out loud... and then Paxton rolls away.
  • Dowager Hatt's awful singing in Toad's Adventure.
  • In "No Snow for Thomas", Thomas' reaction when he sees Emily pulling Annie and Clarabel. Emily then promptly rubs it in his face.
  • "The Smelly Kipper" has a great deal of humor around the engines' playful teasing of each other. First we have a cocky James agreeing to Henry's dare to pull the Flying Kipper. After he eventually changes his mind, he manages to slyly convince a groggy Henry he just dreamed the whole thing. However when the Fat Controller comes to query the whole thing, Thomas and Gordon point out James really did agree to Henry's bargain (complete with hilarious "busted" smirks). The following morning James comes back, irritable and smelling of fish ("I...had a little accident!"), the other engines erupt in laughter.
    Gordon: *laughing, eyeing the fish on his buffer beam* It looks like he's brought a present for the Fat Controller!
  • Bill and Ben tricking Connor (twice!) in "Bill or Ben?". And the scene where Ben tricks Kevin into repainting him while Victor is away.
  • During the seasons animated by Arc, you can't help but feel Thomas' face is a constant Crowning Moment of Funny, what with all the eye rolls and mischievous looks he gives.
    • James supplies well in this area as well, Arc does great conveying what a smarmy bastard he is.
  • The ending to "Old Reliable Edward" has quite possibly the cleverest usage of Gordon's infamous catchphrase of all time.
    Edward: And what do you say?
    Gordon: Oh, the indignity...
    Edward: Sorry? (smug look)
    Gordon: I mean...thank you. Thank you, Edward.
    • Basically Gordon got stuck on his hill because he mistook a pair of red pants for a danger signal.
  • Henrietta's face when James and The Fat Controller find out Toby was right about the signal in "Signals Crossed."
    • Plus, forcing James to apologise to her as well as Toby (albeit as dryly as possible). Also a MOA.
  • In "Duck in the Water", we're briefly treated to a scene with some ducks swimming across the flooded track right in front of Duck, who is waiting to be pulled out. Duck's face tells you everything.
    • Also, Duck's rather annoyed "Can I get out of the water now?"
    • When the Fat Controller first enlists James (who was pretty much begging he wasn't going to pick him), the engine makes every possible excuse not to fetch Duck, even getting snarky with his boss. Made even funnier due to the Fat Controller's deadpan treatment, as if he's had this argument with James a million times before.
  • "Duck and the Slip Coaches": Emily pulls up to the sheds and sees that all the births are full because Duck is staying the night. Disheartened, she sighs and goes away. Then, at the end of the episode, she finds a spare birth...only for Henry to speed past her and take it.
    • Becomes significantly less funny when you remember what fans think about Emily...
    • The revelation James stole Duck's idea, all played through facial expressions between the Fat Controller and James, is priceless.
  • "Duncan and the Grumpy Passenger": At the end of the episode, Duncan starts grumbling and gives us this gem.
    Duncan: Why do people always think it's me who's grumbling? I mean, I've never grumbled in my life! Me? Grumbling? Don't think so!
  • In Marion and the Pipe, Marion's face when she tries dumping dirt on the leaking pipe.
    • The way she clears the boulder off Gordon's line. "FORE!" *thwack*
  • This is probably more worthy of a facepalm, but in "Missing Gator", Percy gives us the absolute most brainless rhyme in all of the show. (It sort of Makes Sense In Context though.)
    Percy: Keeping busy, keeping busy, never thinking isn't easy! Push some more trucks down the line—who needs thinking? I feel fine!
  • Ben's "nyah nyah!" to Timothy in "No Steam Without Coal". His facial expression is priceless.
  • "Spencer's VIP" has the annoyed Deputy Minister giving the Fat Controller a newspaper while voicing how unreliable he thinks Spencer is. Just look at what the Fat Controller's doing there—he actually thinks it's his award for a few seconds.
    • And then there's Oliver shutting up Duck in the middle of his "Great Western Way" spiel.
  • "Toad's Bright Idea" has Oliver catching himself short on a bad pun.
    Oliver: See you later, Gator! In a while, um...Toad.
  • "Samson At Your Service". Samson alone is a Walking Moment of Funny, but the other engine's reactions to him obliviously dragging the Express along are classic.
  • Near the beginning of "No More Mr. Nice Engine", Hiro stops for some ducks crossing the railroad. One of which stops and quacks at him.
  • In "Gordon Runs Dry", one part has Gordon naming stations to keep his mind off water:
    Gordon: Let's see... Tidmoth, Knapford, Crosby, Willsworth, Marron, Kronk, a lake... (screams, as he passes an actual lake)
  • "Thomas Toots the Crows" has Thomas blowing his whistle to get some crows off of Gordon while he's being painted. Right after doing this, the painter manages to give Gordon a mustache.
  • Paxton playing the role as The Ghost of Christmas Present in "Diesel's Ghostly Christmas".
    Diesel: There's no such thing as ghosts!
    Paxton: (soliloquying) Then I must be good at pretending!
  • "Goodbye, Fat Controller", when the Controller is surprised by the engines arriving early and doing their jobs ahead of schedule, causing him to think that his watch is wrong. At one point, there are no engines at the station, but when he looks up from his watch, there they are in front of him!
  • "Who's Geoffery?" has Thomas shunting the Troublesome Trucks too hard, causing Cranky to drop a crate of red balls that bounce all over the place.
    • Thomas' face and voice when imitating Geoffrey is downright hilarious.
  • Basically the whole plot of "Henry Spots Trouble". Henry freaks out when he sees Thomas, Paxton and Gordon with spotted faces, thinking they got chicken pox. Funniest when he sees the third, causing him to instantly reverse.
  • In "Long Lost Friend" when Gator first greets Thomas, Thomas casually says good morning back to him, only to instantly stop with an "Oh, Crap!" face upon realizing whom he has spoken to.
  • The Controller's face in "Buckled Tracks and Bumpy Trucks" when he accidentally-on-purpose loses his hat, and the expression he gets when a porter 'finds' it.

     Feature-length specials 
  • Diesel 10's expression when Mr. Conductor threatened to pour sugar in his tank in Thomas and the Magic Railroad.
  • This exchange during the Windmill scene: Thomas' reaction is like he knew who was going to be on the end of the phone.
    Mr. Conductor: Junior, I want you to listen to me and I want you to listen to me very carefully...
    Thomas: Uh oh...
  • When Thomas meets up with Junior:
    Junior: Thomas! Now, don't look so surprised. I know you haven't seen me since —
    Thomas: You stuffed party poppers down my funnel!
    Junior: Hey, we had a laugh.
    Thomas: YOU did.
  • "Misty Island Rescue" is goddamn funny if you take the time to lampshade the rhyming and the Fridge Brilliances.
  • Paxton interrupts a conversation that the Narrow Gauge engines are having to tell them he's covered in rubble and he needs help at the beginning of Blue Mountain Mystery.
  • The resolution of the "Special Coal" issue in King of the Railway.
    Toby: Henry's broken down!
    Gordon: Don't tell me he needs Special Coal again...
    Toby: No, Gordon, that was fixed years ago!
  • Quite a few from Tale of the Brave. Seriously, it flips between Awesome, Heartwarming, Tear Jerker, and Funny incredibly rapidly.
    • Marion being a Motor Mouth is quite funny, especially when she says "And chickens!" when talking about big animals.
    • Armageddon erupts in the docks as Porter rushes in shouting about Runaway Trucks, Percy rushes in shouting about a monster, Cranky panics and drops a bunch of sandbags on Thomas, and even Salty looks visibly worried...then Gator just rolls in and says "Oh! Hello!" like it's any other day.
      • Gets even funnier when Cranky denies thinking he was a monster, only for Thomas to clear his throat and give him a look.
    • The quick jab at Season 15's Up, Up, and Away!, especially because Thomas pulled that response out of nowhere.
    • A horrified Thomas, Annie and Clarabel thinking that James is getting scrapped, when really he's just going to collect scrap.
    • Emily's Ironic Echo of a teasing remark James made towards Percy, as James is forced to pull the Flying Kipper that night.
    • James goes into a panic and derails while pulling the Flying Kipper...just from Gator greeting him.
      • Right after the red engine runs away, Gator groans that he scared another engine away, as his driver walks over and turns his lamp on much too late.
    • Thomas tricking an apathetic James into helping him just by asking if he's scared. James immediately opens his eyes. Cue Gilligan Cut of James storming off to find Percy with a very smug looking Thomas following.
    • Sir Topham Hatt of all people using one of the engines' catchphrases when he finds Percy disappeared during the presentation of the fossil.
  • The Adventure Begins:
    • When Gordon pulls into Wellsworth Station with Thomas coupled to his coaches, he stops...just before the time changes (presumably to his normal arrival time). Gordon's line cements it perfectly.
    Gordon: Oh, yes.
    • Edward quickly correcting Thomas when addressing Sir Topham Hatt.
    Edward: (whispering) Sir! You're supposed to call him Sir!
    • When Edward tells the story of how Henry was shut up into a tunnel, he starts to talk about what happened when Henry was let out...only for Gordon to quickly cut him off before one of his embarrassing moments can be talked about.
    • Jerome and Judy (or rather, the Breakdown Train) are incredibly jumpy. At least, when they're not napping.
    • When James arrives in the yard, Thomas comments that he can smell something burning. The second time this happens, James simply blows away the smoke from his wooden brakes.
    • Sir Topham Hatt has many silly moments, such as tripping over a stray steel bar, holding his telephone the wrong way to his face, and sheepishly claiming his doctor has forbidden him to pull or push. The way he does that last one makes it seem like he's telling Blatant Lies.
    • Even in the most serious of circumstances, James gets off an Incredibly Lame Pun.
    James: Oh, dear!
    (A deer promptly runs away from him.)
    • Gordon being distraught at the idea of fetching his own coaches.
    • When Thomas is being repainted, the painters open a jar of pink paint much to his horror, but is quickly relieved when it turns out that the pink paint is just an undercoat as they quickly paint his iconic blue over it.
    • Thomas humming "Really Useful Engine" shortly before Edward asks what he's so happy about.
  • Sodor's Legend of the Lost Treasure:
    • Most of Marion's scenes. Two that particularly stand out are the scenes where she first meets the Arlesdale engines and the scene where she traps Mike on top of the chute.
    • The entire "Never Overlook a Little Engine" sequence is as hilarious as it is bizarre. Particularly the beginning, where Thomas looks absolutely bewildered by the fact that three engines just started singing in front of him out of nowhere.
    • Kevin's Captain Obvious moment.
    Kevin: I fell over.
    • Before that:
    Kevin: Don't worry, Thomas, I drop stuff all the time, and I still work here!
    Victor: Only just, Kevin.
    • This exchange between the Arlesdale engines:
    Bert: Is she talking about us?
    Rex: (chuckles) I expect she's talking about Mike.
    Mike: Me?! Why me?!
    Rex: Just because.
    • While it remains a rather tense scene, Marion and the Pack members tossing the lit dynamite around until they end up throwing it back into Ryan's trucks can get some laughs.
    • Skiff singing the Banana Boat song.
    • Sailor John's reaction when Thomas refuses to help him any more.
    Sailor John: I WANT MY TREASURE!
    • Sailor John posing as a figure in a poster to avoid being seen.
    • As the climactic chase scene begins, Annie and Clarabel see Henry running past the sheds shouting about a ghost ship, followed by Sailor John and Skiff with the treasure. Their response?
    Annie: I'm having a very strange dream.
    Clarabel: So am I.
    • Ryan's involvement in the climax is actually hilarious because he quite literally in the wrong place at the wrong time, and spends almost the entire time screaming and running away. Even when he gets (literally) roped into helping, his first instinct is still to scream and panic.
    • Sailor John's final line as he is being arrested.
    Sailor John: You've got the wrong pirate!
    • Marion mistakes Oliver for Oliver and thinks he magically became an excavator. When Oliver (the engine) returns at the very end of the movie, she is utterly bewildered.
  • The Great Race:
    • Thomas' race with Gordon, complete with Thomas' impression of an announcer.
    • Some of the things said in "Will You Won't You" are pretty funny.
    Henry: Take me, sir! I pull the heaviest trains!
    I'm such a mighty engine, sir, It's never a strain!
    (Henry promptly struggles to pull the train he's currently coupled up to.

    Gordon: Ha ha ha! It's not a tough decision, though I have to confess-
    It's hard to find a better engine for the Express!
    The Fat Controller: Hm...precisely!
    Gordon: But... I didn't mean not to take me, sir!

    Philip: I know I'm kind of small sir, but I'm not a beginner!
    I had a race with Gordon once and I was the winner!
    (The Fat Controller looks at Gordon skeptically, while Gordon grumbles in disgust, before Diesel suddenly bumps Philip out of the way.)
    Diesel: You ought to take me, sir; I'm modern and new!
    Your first diesel ever, I'm loyal, kind, and true!
    (At this point, the Fat Controller walks out of the station, looking like he's forcing himself to stay calm.)
    • Later on in the same song, Donald and Douglas bump into the Fat Controller in Winston and bump from behind. Along with all the clips of the engines running around, this gives the impression that they have been chasing the Fat Controller all over the island after the scene with Diesel.
    • At the very end of the song, Thomas joins in, only to wear out as the engines laugh at him.
    • Thomas imitating Sir Topham Hatt while in the yard with Percy. Percy laughs at such.
    Thomas: (as Sir Topham Hatt) I do have to keep some engines on Sodor! Blah, blah, blah! We still have a railway to run!
    Thomas: Ha-ha-haa! I did it! I did iiit! Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo...
    Samson: Thomas?
    Thomas: (beat, looks at which line he's on) Uh oh. Cinders and ashes...
    (Conner's whistle blows, and Thomas sees he's right in front of him)
    Conner: Get out of the way!
    (A signalman switches Thomas onto another line, barely missing Conner...but now leading right to Hiro!
    Thomas: (gasps) HIRO-OOOO!
    (Thomas is BARELY switched back onto the other line....where SIDNEY is coming down with a goods train.
    Thomas: SIDNEY!
    (Signalman switches Thomas away from Sidney and finally onto the proper line)
    Thomas: Whew! I really must stop doing that!
    (Thomas puffs away...and the signalman faints.)
    • After Henry places last in the strength race:
    Philip: How did you get on in the Strongest Engine Competition, Henry?
    Henry: I...I came fifth!
    Philip: Wow! That's great!
    Henry: There were only five engines.
    (Philip looks confused)
    • James thinks he won the Best Decorated Parade, but is shocked when the announcer says it's Rajiv.
    • Philip unintentionally imitating the announcer's voice when the Great Race is being announced.
    Percy: How did you make your voice do that, Philip?!
    • When Thomas meets up with Gordon before the race begins...
    Thomas: GORDON! (whistles) GORDON!!! Thank goodness I found —
    Gordon: Stop calling me that! My name is "Shooting Star"!
    Thomas: Okay! Sorry Gordon—I-I-I mean uh...Falling Star...
    • The looks on the faces of the Great Race participants as Gordon steadily overtakes them are pretty funny, particularly Axel's.
    • The outcome of Diesel's failed attempt to get to the Great Railway Show. As he's yelling at Den, Dart, and Paxton for not knowing the difference between his horn and Thomas' whistle, he ends up getting Dart's crate stuck on him. The turntable goes down.... but Diesel is left up in the air, running his wheels at top speed before PLUMMETING to the ground and moving out and bashing into things outisde the Dieselworks! He's even seen in the background of the following scene with the three diesels chasing after him!
    Diesel (faintly audible in the background): GET! ME! OUT!-OF!-HEEEERE!!!
    • This continues to the mid-credits scene halfway through the credits, following the first half which consists of Den, Dart, and Paxton searching for him at Brendam (with Cranky being the only visable part of the docks)...
    Diesel: OVER HEEEERE!
    (Screen cuts from black to Brendam, where Cranky, Den, Dart and Paxton (all bewildered) are watching a ship loaded with crates sailing away with Diesel onboard)
    Diesel: I'm full of sur-PRIS-es!

    DVD Extras 

Mr. Awkright/Mr. Perkins segments

  • "Mr. Perkins and the Parrot"
    • At one point, Mr. Perkins steps away from his chair, and says that parrots are usually very naughty, but he then says Beaky hasn't been naughty at all... Then he goes back to his chair to find a big hole in one of his magazines.
    Mr. Perkins: Beaky....
    Beaky: (squaks) Yum yum.
  • "Mr. Perkins' Fancy Costume"
    • Every time Mr. Perkins answers the phone, he stumbles on the words "engine driver's common room" coinciding on what he's dressed as. We go from "engine driver's cowboy room" to "engine driver magic room" and finally, to "engine driver's custard pie room".
  • "Mr. Perkins' Seaside"
    • Mr. Perkins talking to a picture of Thomas on the wall.
    Mr. Perkins I was just telling this picture of Thomas... telling this picture of Thomas indeed!
    Mr. Perkins: And where is the best place on the island to relax? (beat) That's right! Knapford Sta- No! Not Knapford Station. Now, you're just being silly!
  • "Mr. Perkins' Trainee"
    • This the only segment so far to have a second actor, Archie (played by Gareth Cassidy). Let's just say their chemistry is legendary.
      • When Archie introduces himself as "Mr. Higginbottom", Mr. Perkins snaps at him saying that only engine drivers get to call themselves "Mr.". After complaining that it's not fair, he calls Mr. Perkins "Gilbert" not a few second later.
      • When trying on engine driver outfits, Archie finds a whistle in one of the pockets. You can probably guess what happens next.
      • Mr. Perkins tells Archie to chuff in a circle to practice railway signals. He says he feels silly, to which Mr. Perkins replies with "you don't look silly". Immediately followed by him turning to the viewers, and saying that he does indeed look silly. Archie even calls him out on it. Mr. Perkins' response? "Nothing, nothing".
      • When Archie runs a red signal, Mr. Perkins chases him, telling him to stop. Then they both crash into eachother.
      • Next, Mr. Perkins teaches Archie how to read a map. First Archie doesn't unroll the map at all, mistaking it for a big white hill. Then he looks at the map from the wrong side, mistaking it for a big frozen lake. Finally, he holds the map upside down, misreading "China Clayworks" as "Skrowyalc anihc".
      • The final scene has Archie answering a phone call from The Fat Controller, much to Mr. Perkins' dismay. What happens next? He goes through the call flawlessly. Even going so far as to mention Truth In Fiction details about Edward's driving axels and connecting rods.

Mr. Perkins' Storytime