Funny / The Untouchables

The 1987 film

  • Wallace taking a sip from a barrel of liquor at the end of his Let's Get Dangerous! scene, a bit of Fridge Brilliance behind his satisfaction implies that he's enforcing a law he doesn't believe in.
    • Given that he was an accountant who'd just single-handedly stormed a bridge full of gangsters, he might have just needed some liquid courage.
  • Nitti "is in the car"
  • Malone's comment on the stammering first potential recruit: "There goes the next chief of police."
  • Malone recruiting George Stone.
    Malone: I said you're a lying member of a no-good race.
    Stone knocks the clipboard out of his hands and points his gun under his chin.
    Stone: That's a lot better than you, you stinking Irish pig.
    Malone:... Oh I like him.
    Ness: Yeah I like him too.
  • Malone gets fed up chasing one of Capone's men at the Canada border:
    Malone:(shoots Tommy gun in the air, causing man he's chasing to stop and put his hands in the air) Alright! Enough of this running shit!
  • Capone's baseball bat scene? Horrifying. The other gangsters' extremely calm and mildly discomforted reactions? Priceless. Even when Capone is smacking a traitor to death, many simply frown or furrow their brows, while the waiters are completely indifferent while watching. Maybe this has happened before...
  • When the Mounties jump the gun and preemptively start the raid, an exasperated Malone just says " Oh what the hell? You gotta die of something!"
  • Malone, despite being the grizzled Knight in Sour Armor (or maybe because of it), is also made of funny. He knees a Capone flunky in the balls when he demands a warrant, and adds, "How do you think he feels now? Better, or worse?"
  • After Wallace and George are murdered, Ness goes to Capone's hotel to confront him calling him a "son of a bitch". Capone, with his wife and son at the time, takes umbrage at this remark, and replies: "You talk to me like that in front of my son? FUCK YOU AND YOUR FAMILY!"
  • Upon meeting nerdy Federal accountant Oscar Wallace, Malone, looks at him for like two seconds and says, "You carry a badge? Carry a gun!" and hands him a big assed shotgun. Wallace takes it in stride, clearly enjoying this thrilling new aspect of the job.