Funny Main Webcomic
The Three Mushketeers
This is only the beginning.
A webcomic bent on being funny sometimes fails its job by making bad jokes. This comic, however, certainly doesn't.
Warning: There's unmarked spoilers!
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"We will...buy you a candy bar at Circle K or something." "YOU'VE GOT YOURSELF A DEAL!"
"Sorry, I don't speak nutcase."
"ULTRA SUPER SPECIAL ANNOYING SINGING ATTACK!"
"How long have you been there?" "About three and a half hours..."
"Attack, my spherical Goomba army!" "These things are the precise reason I don't play Super Mario World anymore."
"We're here! We're sphere! Get used to it!" "...I don't visit San Fransisco anymore either"
"Oprah Winfrey Attack!"
"It looks like Gamefreak...has just been fired!" "YEEEAAAAAHHHHH!!!!"
"Are you Professor E. Gadd?" "Yabbo yaboo!" "No, I think he's Fred Flintstone."
"THERE! ARE! FOUR! LIGHTS!"
"Feels great to be back to my old self! Although I have a sudden desire to be the center of attention..."
"I guess Mason and I were wrong. It's not Stewie Griffin." "You guys owe me 50 coins!"
"Wow! He can create things with mere words. Think about it: Mason solves world hunger!"
"I removed his mouth. What, you like hearing him speak?!"
" Fourteen! Fourteen Goombas! Ah ah ah!"
"You're still having to pay me, doc."
The page picture.
"Attack Formation Delta!!" "What was that?" "I dunno. It just sounded cool."
"You mean you want him to speak?" "That's what I said!"
"Well, that's not how I was going to restore Mason's mouth, but that works too..."
"If one of us you wish to be, please answer these riddles three!"
This image. ◊
The entire Christmas comic.
"That cheapskate! She owed me 200 coins!"
"I've been following you for the past six hours with my super stalking ability!"
"That's just creepy. NEXT!"
"Well, one night, my mommy and daddy loved each other very much..." " NO!"
"Yes, but he doesn't have cable."
The Mason Mobile ◊. "To the Mason Mobile!"
"Do you want to know who's going to get in our way?" "Gary freaking Oak."
"Must you resort to petty name-calling?"
"I'll play the catchy tune and get it stuck in your heads!" "You monster!"
Inspector Gadget "How are you going to pay us, master?" "Let's see... I have three bottle caps, a button, and some pocket lint!"
"I left biscuits in the oven at home. I'm sure they're burnt by now!"
"QUICKIE! GET OUT OF MY LABORATORY!"
"I have some very important business elsewhere..." " We now return to Sanford and Son..."
"Do you accept Visa?" "Now you're talking..."
"Well, on very rare occasions they cause heart attacks but we should be fine."
" We're underwater, guys!" "Duh."
"The ocean is filled with the most hideous creatures around." " Do you guys want to go jellyfishing with me?" "It's hideous."
"Taking down this Christmas tree underwater is going to be a pain."
"I need it for my plan to turn all of the water's oceans into Coca Cola!"
"Whatever you say, Kamek."
"Be glad that I have cable!"
"Can you define 'work' please?"
"Prepare to be defeated, Galactic Petey! I have some Weed B-Gone!"
"It...didn't work? It seemed to work fine on that Bulbasaur earlier..."
"That's because you have no fingers."
"Now I've wasted a perfectly good musical number! Get the heck away from me, jerks!"
This conversation, which also doubles as Getting Crap Past the Radar, considering this is a family comic.
Mason: Can we use your pipe?
Creepy Toad: What makes you think I carry one of those cancer-causing things?
Solar: No, stupid. He meant the Warp Pipe you're standing in front of.
Creepy Toad: Oh, certainly!
"It's not that bad. Come on, sing with me! The sewers, the mighty sewers..."
"I got a rock."
" I'M NOT MASON!" "Please never, ever do that again."
"Question 1: How do you say the word "embarrassed" in Spanish?"
"Oh, come on! I like how it wouldn't have made any sense if you answered it the hard way!"
"What in the world would make you think chocolate is a round food?"
"Oh, I thought she said brown food!"
"If I can't quiz you to death, I'll CRUSH YOU LIKE ANTS!"
"Look, cute rats. No, NO!! GET THESE THINGS OFF ME!!!"
"That was a tough fight." "Of course it was. It's not like we ever defeat anything in one hit or anything!"
Cut to Villains Anonymous. "Thank you for this session, Ralph. All five of us have been defeated by the Mushketeers in a single hit."
"One time I put a quarter up my nose and it came out a week later!"
"Good...Because otherwise I'd have to take a rusty screwdriver and-"
"This outfit was at the dry cleaner."
"I have HAD it with these monkey-fighting Cobrats on this Monday to Friday plane!"
"All three of you are good to go with your luggage... but we're a little troubled about the guy with the red hat. The Weed-B-Gone, coins and highly dangerous magic wand are all fine but why in the world do you have three issues of In Touch magazine?"
"It's not like that! I'm carrying them for someone else!!!"
"They're Hebrew National Franks."
"They must have been working for Mr. Bones." "...Leon Schuster?"
"I'm sorry, Mason, but if you ever, ever make such a horrible pun ever again I'll have to barbeque you."
"I stored them safely within the confines of my-" "WE DON'T WANT TO KNOW!" "...Hat."
"You lied to me Geico Gecko!" "Di'n't yew save at leas' fifteen percen' on caw insuwance?"
"That's Mr. Bones. Max HP is 21, Attack is 100, Defense is 100, and Speed is 84. He was probably a real Koopa Troopa...long, long ago..." "His hidden weakness is to hear late 1960's hit rock pop singles!"
Neptune Heart Attacks... !!!!!
6 The entirety of Issue 71. ◊
"Wait, I'm not a torch! I'm-" (Anton blows Solar Blaze out) "...One of the fighters."
"They will be fighting our lowest-ranked fighters, Ed, Edd n Eddy!" "Don't jump to conclusions, guys, I think this is purely coincidental..."
"Mushketeers win! "
TOUCALITY! "Too easy!" "Piece of cake!" " ...Entire cake. ◊"
"Our Mushketeers gave a real whoopin' to Bundt..." "Bundt, by the way, was delicious!"
"No! I'm reminded of my highschool days!"
(Flashback) "It's swirly time, nerd!"
"I need a crowd for my puppet shows, don't I?" "You monster!"
"Hmm... I think I'll have me some Filet-O-Toucan tonight." " "
You monster! "Your chin! It's hilarious!"
" Nice going, Mason. ◊"
" Gah, I can't stand Neptune's stunning good looks! ◊"
"Woah, it's Solar from summer camp! I remember the time you ate a snail. Gnarly, dude!" "I TOLD YOU TO NOT TELL ANYONE ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED IN SUMMER CAMP!"
" MILKSHAKE BRINGS ALL THE GOOMBAS TO THE YARD!!!" It defeats Tucayo.
"EEYUCK! I've been slobbered!"
"How many coins was that again?" "I WAS KIDDING!! IT'S ON THE HOUSE!!"
"Me regret nothing."
"So Mother BRAIN was the one you were scrubbing the feet of? Is there going to be any more style clashing?"
"Soon, they'll realize the barrier is nothing more than Hot Wheels packaging!"
"ARE YOU TELLING US THIS WHOLE JOURNEY WAS FOR A CANDY BAR?!"
"If those weren't the real Mario Bros., then did I really kidnap Princess Peach?" "All another illusion." "I think I'm gonna be sick..."
"Heh heh, I mean MY planet, Homertopia. Suckers! No one will dare to drop another dome on Springfield with these aliens protecting it..."
"Gee, I hope Gamefreak sure doesn't give me some pie. That'll surely, uh, kill me." "Nice try."
"HOW THE HECK AM I FLOATING IN THE AIR?!"
"We're proposing a treaty to kick Gamefreak's rear for forgetting to lock us up like everyone else!"
"For the last time, Urchin, that wasn't the song!"
"Edgar has now become Tedgar. Farewell..." "63 issues of buildup for THAT?!" "I'd say more than 63..."
"So, Mason, how long should we barrage him?" "Until he becomes a corpse state in which he could barely be considered alive." "Yikes."
"I thought as Oprah, Mason would give me a free car."
"Looks like Solar is delivering the final blow." "I see what you did there."
"I hope you realize if it goes to space it might-" "LA LA LA, I'M NOT LISTENING!"
"But why are you in charge of the arrest?" "For the pun in the fourth panel."
YOU MANIACS! YOU BLEW IT UP! CURSE YOU! CURSE YOU ALL TO THE UNDERWHERE!