Funny: The Three Mushketeers
This is only the beginning.
A webcomic bent on being funny sometimes fails its job by making bad jokes. This comic, however, certainly doesn't.
Warning: There's unmarked spoilers!
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- "We will...buy you a candy bar at Circle K or something." "YOU'VE GOT YOURSELF A DEAL!"
- "Sorry, I don't speak nutcase."
- "ULTRA SUPER SPECIAL ANNOYING SINGING ATTACK!"
- "How long have you been there?" "About three and a half hours..."
- "Attack, my spherical Goomba army!" "These things are the precise reason I don't play Super Mario World anymore."
- "We're here! We're sphere! Get used to it!" "...I don't visit San Fransisco anymore either"
- "Oprah Winfrey Attack!"
- "It looks like Gamefreak...has just been fired!" "YEEEAAAAAHHHHH!!!!"
- "Are you Professor E. Gadd?" "Yabbo yaboo!" "No, I think he's Fred Flintstone."
- "THERE! ARE! FOUR! LIGHTS!"
- "Feels great to be back to my old self! Although I have a sudden desire to be the center of attention..."
- "I guess Mason and I were wrong. It's not Stewie Griffin." "You guys owe me 50 coins!"
- "Wow! He can create things with mere words. Think about it: Mason solves world hunger!"
- "I removed his mouth. What, you like hearing him speak?!"
- "Fourteen! Fourteen Goombas! Ah ah ah!"
- "You're still having to pay me, doc."
- The page picture.
- "Attack Formation Delta!!" "What was that?" "I dunno. It just sounded cool."
- "You mean you want him to speak?" "That's what I said!"
- "Well, that's not how I was going to restore Mason's mouth, but that works too..."
- "If one of us you wish to be, please answer these riddles three!"
- This image.◊
- The entire Christmas comic.
- "That cheapskate! She owed me 200 coins!"
- "I've been following you for the past six hours with my super stalking ability!"
- "That's just creepy. NEXT!"
- "Well, one night, my mommy and daddy loved each other very much..." "NO!"
- "Yes, but he doesn't have cable."
- The Mason Mobile◊. "To the Mason Mobile!"
- "Do you want to know who's going to get in our way?" "Gary freaking Oak."
- "Must you resort to petty name-calling?"
- "I'll play the catchy Inspector Gadget tune and get it stuck in your heads!" "You monster!"
- "How are you going to pay us, master?" "Let's see... I have three bottle caps, a button, and some pocket lint!"
- "I left biscuits in the oven at home. I'm sure they're burnt by now!"
- "QUICKIE! GET OUT OF MY LABORATORY!"
- "I have some very important business elsewhere..." "We now return to Sanford and Son..."
- "Do you accept Visa?" "Now you're talking..."
- "Well, on very rare occasions they cause heart attacks but we should be fine."
- "We're underwater, guys!" "Duh."
- "The ocean is filled with the most hideous creatures around." "Do you guys want to go jellyfishing with me?" "It's hideous."
- "Taking down this Christmas tree underwater is going to be a pain."
- "I need it for my plan to turn all of the water's oceans into Coca Cola!"
- "Whatever you say, Kamek."
- "Be glad that I have cable!"
- "Can you define 'work' please?"
- "Prepare to be defeated, Galactic Petey! I have some Weed B-Gone!"
- "It...didn't work? It seemed to work fine on that Bulbasaur earlier..."
- "That's because you have no fingers."
- "Now I've wasted a perfectly good musical number! Get the heck away from me, jerks!"
- This conversation, which also doubles as Getting Crap Past the Radar, considering this is a family comic.
Mason: Can we use your pipe?
Creepy Toad: What makes you think I carry one of those cancer-causing things?
Solar: No, stupid. He meant the Warp Pipe you're standing in front of.
Creepy Toad: Oh, certainly!
- "It's not that bad. Come on, sing with me! The sewers, the mighty sewers..."
- "I got a rock."
- "I'M NOT MASON!" "Please never, ever do that again."
- "Question 1: How do you say the word "embarrassed" in Spanish?"
- "Oh, come on! I like how it wouldn't have made any sense if you answered it the hard way!"
- "What in the world would make you think chocolate is a round food?"
- "Oh, I thought she said brown food!"
- "If I can't quiz you to death, I'll CRUSH YOU LIKE ANTS!"
- "Look, cute rats. No, NO!! GET THESE THINGS OFF ME!!!"
- "That was a tough fight." "Of course it was. It's not like we ever defeat anything in one hit or anything!"
- Cut to Villains Anonymous. "Thank you for this session, Ralph. All five of us have been defeated by the Mushketeers in a single hit."
- "One time I put a quarter up my nose and it came out a week later!"
- "Good...Because otherwise I'd have to take a rusty screwdriver and-"
- "This outfit was at the dry cleaner."
- "I have HAD it with these monkey-fighting Cobrats on this Monday to Friday plane!"
- "All three of you are good to go with your luggage... but we're a little troubled about the guy with the red hat. The Weed-B-Gone, coins and highly dangerous magic wand are all fine but why in the world do you have three issues of In Touch magazine?"
- "It's not like that! I'm carrying them for someone else!!!"
- "They're Hebrew National Franks."
- "They must have been working for Mr. Bones." "...Leon Schuster?"
- "I'm sorry, Mason, but if you ever, ever make such a horrible pun ever again I'll have to barbeque you."
- "I stored them safely within the confines of my-" "WE DON'T WANT TO KNOW!" "...Hat."
- "You lied to me Geico Gecko!" "Di'n't yew save at leas' fifteen percen' on caw insuwance?"
- "That's Mr. Bones. Max HP is 21, Attack is 100, Defense is 100, and Speed is 84. He was probably a real Koopa Troopa...long, long ago..." "His hidden weakness is to hear late 1960's hit rock pop singles!"
- Neptune Heart Attacks... 6!!!!!
- The entirety of Issue 71.◊
- "Wait, I'm not a torch! I'm-" (Anton blows Solar Blaze out) "...One of the fighters."
- "They will be fighting our lowest-ranked fighters, Ed, Edd n Eddy!" "Don't jump to conclusions, guys, I think this is purely coincidental..."
- "Mushketeers win! TOUCALITY!"
- "Too easy!" "Piece of cake!" "...Entire cake.◊"
- "Our Mushketeers gave a real whoopin' to Bundt..." "Bundt, by the way, was delicious!"
- "No! I'm reminded of my highschool days!"
- (Flashback) "It's swirly time, nerd!"
- "I need a crowd for my puppet shows, don't I?" "You monster!"
- "Hmm... I think I'll have me some Filet-O-Toucan tonight." "You monster!"
- "Your chin! It's hilarious!"
- "Nice going, Mason.◊"
- "Gah, I can't stand Neptune's stunning good looks!◊"
- "Woah, it's Solar from summer camp! I remember the time you ate a snail. Gnarly, dude!" "I TOLD YOU TO NOT TELL ANYONE ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED IN SUMMER CAMP!"
- "MILKSHAKE BRINGS ALL THE GOOMBAS TO THE YARD!!!" It defeats Tucayo.
- "EEYUCK! I've been slobbered!"
- "How many coins was that again?" "I WAS KIDDING!! IT'S ON THE HOUSE!!"
- "Me regret nothing."
- "So Mother BRAIN was the one you were scrubbing the feet of? Is there going to be any more style clashing?"
- "Soon, they'll realize the barrier is nothing more than Hot Wheels packaging!"
- "ARE YOU TELLING US THIS WHOLE JOURNEY WAS FOR A CANDY BAR?!"
- "If those weren't the real Mario Bros., then did I really kidnap Princess Peach?" "All another illusion." "I think I'm gonna be sick..."
- "Heh heh, I mean MY planet, Homertopia. Suckers! No one will dare to drop another dome on Springfield with these aliens protecting it..."
- "Gee, I hope Gamefreak sure doesn't give me some pie. That'll surely, uh, kill me." "Nice try."
- "HOW THE HECK AM I FLOATING IN THE AIR?!"
- "We're proposing a treaty to kick Gamefreak's rear for forgetting to lock us up like everyone else!"
- "For the last time, Urchin, that wasn't the song!"
- "Edgar has now become Tedgar. Farewell..." "63 issues of buildup for THAT?!" "I'd say more than 63..."
- "So, Mason, how long should we barrage him?" "Until he becomes a corpse state in which he could barely be considered alive." "Yikes."
- "I thought as Oprah, Mason would give me a free car."
- "Looks like Solar is delivering the final blow." "I see what you did there."
- "I hope you realize if it goes to space it might-" "LA LA LA, I'M NOT LISTENING!"
- "But why are you in charge of the arrest?" "For the pun in the fourth panel."
"YOU MANIACS! YOU BLEW IT UP! CURSE YOU! CURSE YOU ALL TO THE UNDERWHERE!