- In particular, at the conclusion of Wolf's trial, the judge proclaims: "We've heard the evidence, most of it quite ridiculous." An outraged Wolf takes umbrage at the "most" and snaps: "Some of it!"
- "That's not funny." "...it'll get funnier if we keep doing it."
- The vast majority of Tony's lines, as he has a tendency to lampshade things that the fairy tale characters do or say in a particularly snarky manner.
Tony: What is it with you people? What kind of twisted upbringing did you have? You know, why can't you just say, 'Oh, that'll be 100 gold coins'? Why does it always have to be, 'No! Not unless you lay a magic egg, or count the hairs on a giant's ass!'?
- Wendell gets one when he and Virginia stay at her grandmother's apartment. Roland, the grandmother's poodle, barks at him continuously for a few minutes before Wendell knocks him by hitting him on the head.
- Virginia hitting Wolf over the head with the vase at her grandmother's apartment when he tried to kiss her.
- He just breaks out a big grin after she does this.
- During the Red Riding Hood scene at Grandma's apartment:
Wolf: (speaking of the meat cleaver in his hand) Oh, no! How did this get here?
- When they go back to rescue Tony from the prison:
Wolf: Okay, how about, I wear the shoes, and then you touch me, 'cause if you're touching me we'll both be invisible.
Virginia: No way. You're lying, you just want the shoes for yourself! (Actually just about any scene with the magic shoes is hilarious.)
- When the heroes are Storming the Castle and encounter the Knights and Knaves:
Tony: What is the point of having a door with a horrible death behind it? WHAT DOES THAT ACHIEVE? (throws frog through door)
Wolf: I guess it's the other door.
- As she goes to chase after the dog Wendell:
Blabberwort: He can't escape, we're in a prison!
- At the Huntsman's treehouse:
Wolf: I've always wanted to say this...'Love of my life, let down your lustrous locks!
(Virginia throws her hair down at him, hitting him right in the face)
(As he's climbing)
Wolf: Look out below, close your eyes!
Tony: What is it?
Virginia: I do not have—
(And a bit later)
Wolf: I've just found another gray one!
- Wolf's description of how he wants his lamb prepared at the restaurant:
"No, no! "Rare" implies dangerously cooked. When I say rare I mean just let it look at the oven in terror, then bring it out to me."
- The Troll King momentarily intrigued when his children describe a "fever that only strikes on Saturdays."
- Anything with the Village Idiot
Tony "It's no use, the man is a complete idiot."Idiot "If only! Now my father, he was a complete idiot. I'm still a half-wit!"(later, after the magic water starts shooting from the well) "FINALLY! I am a ''complete'' idiot!!!"
- Although the rest of the scene swings from sad to creepy, Tony singing "A Whiter Shade of Pale" while having a Mushroom Samba. Especially when the mushrooms start doing the backing vocals.
Funny / The 10th Kingdom