Funny / The Taking of Pelham One Two Three

  • Unwilling to make a decision over whether to pay the ransom, the Major asks his wife what she thinks.
    Mayor's Wife: I know a million dollars sounds like a lot of money. But just think what you'll get in return.
    Mayor: What?
    Mayor's Wife: Eighteen sure votes.
  • Rico: "I've worked out how they're going to get away. They're going to fly the train to Cuba."
  • Garber, trolling the Japanese metro officials around because he thinks they can't understand him: "There's our artist in residence. And right through here is our operations lieutentant, Mr Rico Patrone, who on weekends works for the Mafia."
  • Everything said by and to Caz Dolowicz before his demise.
    Caz: "You're like the captain of a ship, you're supposed to go down with it!" Old lady: "Horseshit!"
    Caz: "Why don't you go grab a goddamned aeroplane like everyone else?!" Grey: "Because we're afraid of flying!"
  • Rico has a list of motormen dismissed for cause, and therefore possible suspects. There's 74 of them, but most are dead, rehired, moved out of the area, etc. "...and one who's a member of the New York Police Department."
    Garber: That's our man right there.
  • As Garber takes the Japanese officials into the transit police HQ and begins talking about it:
    Garber: Things are usually jumpin' pretty good in here.
    (The next scene shows bored police officers doing make-work to kill time, and the office is clearly not to full capacity.)
  • At the beginning of the 1974 film, Garber is asked to act as tour guide for a deputation of senior officials from the Tokyo transit system. He asks them to follow him and walks off, launching into a bored recitation of the usual spiel about how the New York City metro system has X thousand miles of track, etc. Then he realises that they're not following him, and infers that they don't speak English. As the first act unfolds, his explanation to them of what they're seeing gets more and more ridiculous (since he assumes that they don't understand what he's saying). Finally, when it's become clear that there's a hijack underway, he tells someone to "...get these monkeys outa here, will you?" The leader of the deputation says in perfect English, with a friendly smile, "It is all right, Lieutenant Garber. We can find our own way out." They all bow politely and leave. It's worth it just for the look on Walter Matthau's face.
  • After speculating the whole time about whether the undercover cop is a man or a woman, it turns out to be the guy dressed as a hippie. Except when Garber gets there he's unconscious with his face down, and Garber assumes he's a woman.
  • When the crowd starts shouting angrily down the street, Garber's partner correctly infers that the mayor has arrived.