Carey: Aren't you going to miss your brother (while Cody's at math camp), Zack? Zack: Yeah, right, like I'm gonna miss a bunch of nerds going *mock chant* "two, four, six, eight, why can't we get a date?"
In Cookin' with Romeo and Juliet:
London: Maddie, that Romeo and Juliet book has a happy ending right? * beat* Maddie:Yeah! * London leaves as Maddie walks away, shaking her head and mouthing no*
The pie fight scene. Freaking hilarious.
"Happy Hanukkah London."
Maddie's school is about to play against another school.
Nun: Now, girls, before we pound these losers into the ground, let us pray. Dear Lord, please let us pound these losers into the ground.
In "The Arwin That Came to Dinner," when Lance broke up with London:
Lance: I hope we can still be friends.
(London throws a vase at his head. He ducks and the vase shatters against the door.)
Lance: Maybe not close friends.
When the nuns give London and Maddie a fake baby to take care of
Nun: If you don't take care of it, I shall know.
London: You mean? (points up at the sky terrified)
Nun: No, dear, it has a voice recorder in the back.
The twins find an old video tape that shows their mother giving birth to them and later reveals that she used to get them mixed up. They call her out on this:
Cody: Any other secrets from us, mom? If that is your real name.
Carey: I am your mother. Do I need to show you the beginning of the tape again?
The twins are trying to help Arwin win a hotel engineer competition. The advice they give him is so think of a happy place so there's less pressure. We get this exchange (or something along the lines of it):
Cody: The race is going to start soon Arwin. Got your happy place?
Arwin: Well at first it was me and mother on a lovely tropical cruise. But then a storm hit and the waves were huge and then her wheel chair rolled off the side and I yelled 'Mother! Throw me the house keys!'
Zack: Okaayyy. How bout thinking about a nice cookie?
This exchange (don't remember exactly how it goes):
Mom: Okay...what do you say I keep this job and get you a babysitter?
Cody: W-w-w-wait! You just said we were little men!
Mom: Okay, a little men sitter.
From "The Suite Smell of Excess", when the boys wind up in a parallel universe...
Cody: Could this get any weirder?
Female!Esteban:(Enters) Room service!
Zack: That would be a yes!
From "Super Twins", the boys get superpowers, and so does Mr. Moseby, who calls himself "The Meanager"... which apparently is his nickname among the staff, much to his confusion. "What nickname?"
In "The Ghost of 613", Cody jumps into Maddie's arms a la Scooby-Doo... then he tries it again and she doesn't catch him, and he falls to the floor.
This scene from "Moseby's Big Brother:"
Spencer: Oh, and since I'm apologizing, I'm sorry I shaved "dork" in your hair when you were five.
Moseby: You said that was the hair gremlin!
Spencer: I lied.
Moseby:WHAT?!(gets up)PEOPLE CALLED ME "DORK HAIR" FOR YEARS! Including Mom.
Spencer: Don't be mad just because Mom liked me best.
Moseby: Oh-ho-ho, she did not. You know the reason why she treated you better.
Spencer: Don't go there.
Moseby: Oh yeah.
Spencer: Don't go there!
Moseby: Yeah, because you were lactose intolerant!
Moseby:(laughs, then mocks him in a singsong voice) Who's afraid of cheese, who's afraid of cheese?
And the fight that ensues afterwards, which continues during this part:
Cody: It's been thirteen years in the making and I don't want us to end up like Mr. Moseby and his brother! (Cody and Zack both turn and watch as Moseby runs by with Spencer on his back giving him a noogie)
Moseby: Burning, burning, burning, burning! (runs out of view)
Zack: If we do, can I be Spencer? He's rich, he gets all the babes, and he's winning. (both turn and watch as Moseby comes back into view)
Moseby: Get off my back! (flings Spencer off of him, but Spencer crawls back and bites him on the ankle, making Moseby scream in pain) My foot! Ow! (limps off)
Cody: This is what I mean! I don't want to keep everything bottled up inside for thirty years and then wind up hating you!
Zack: You'd hate me?
Cody: Eventually. (both turn and watch as Moseby walks by with Spencer clinging to his leg like a toddler)
From when Moseby is upset with the boys for losing an important Japanese entertainer
Moseby: (After knocking over a bulletin board set with plastic letters) Ohh. I landed on my A.
Carey attempts to disguise her presence on Zack's date by pretending to be a "singing chef" whenever his date comes back. The second time this happens:
Carey (singing): I recommend the crème brûl-ée!
Sarcastic Waiter (also singing): I recommend you go a-way!
Carey is asked out by a barbershop quartet, so Zack and Cody convince her to go so she doesn't figure out what they're doing. Before she leaves this gem is given
Mellow Notes: (singing) We, promise this date will really be tops.
Carey: (also singing) If I'm not back by 10 call the cops.
During the Christmas episode, Mr. Moseby tells Arwin to use an old furnace to heat the hotel and fuel it with old furniture. He walks off, utterly delighted and singing loudly about burning chairs. Later, he tries to take a chainsaw to Moseby's desk.
Moseby: Not the front desk!
Arwin: It's so big and wooden!
In "Graduation", Kurt comes over and gives Zack his electric guitar as a graduation gift.
"Starship Tipton": the entire episode, but especially this exchange:
Zack: Now let's go kick some alien butt! ...Assuming they have butts. Cody: Zack, do not let your emotions control you. We must approach this conflict logically. Zack: (makes a "what are you on" face)
Cody's Log: Galatic time, 43.8 Cronos. In two Earth minutes, we will be crossing into Anterian Space. Luckily, I have extensive knowledge in both astro-physics and space telemetry.
Zack's Log: Hurry up dipstick, we're down to one minute!
Even better a little later (first part paraphrased):
Cody's Log: Perhaps the Anterians have chosen not to pursue war- *ship gets rocked by an energy blast* Ahhhh! Great Gas Giant!We're all gonna die!
From "I Brake for Whales":
Marcus: Oh no! Now instead of recording whale sounds for my new single, I'll be recording 'Help me, there's a propellor stuck in my eye!'
There's one in "Breakup in Paris" where Zack and Woody attempt to blend in with the French people to escape a pursuer. And by 'attempting to blend in' we mean they muttered in gravelly tones OHOHOHOHOHO FRERE JACQUES OUI OUI OUI.
Also from the movie we get this while Zack and Woody are skydiving while Stephanie is after them.
Zack: (Stephanie throws 2 shoes at them) Well, at least he ran out of shoes (A lot of shoes fall on them) What the heck?!
And while Cody and Bailey are fighting
Cody: If the shoe fits (All those shoes fall on him) What the heck!?
And from the episode where Cody goes to Antarctica and Artio Vintali comes to the S.S. Tipton, we get this explaining why London needs Artio Vintali's clothes.
London: I grew up with a father who was never around with 14 (phone dings) 15 stepmoms.
The entirity of the fairy tale parody episode.
From "The Play's The Thing":
Zack: Aw, you will. You just need some...fresh meat! (walks and speaks like a zombie)
Cody: You're an idiot.
London: (comes out from behind the curtain wearing a costume of the moon) Ooh, ooh! Shiny shiny shiny!
Carey: You've always been smart. Ever since you were born and you cut your own umbilical cord.
Cody: I had to. Zack wrapped it around my neck.
"Goodbye, seniors, goodbye class, high school you can-"
"THEY'RE TAKING APART THE STUPID SEA SCHOOL, YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYyaayy...uh..."
From the episode Show and Tell: "His badge is a cookie!"
Through a series of events, Zack, Cody and their mother end up being forced to taste test terrible sodas. When they're let go, Carey, blindfolded, grabs two ninjas (there to stop them from escaping) and starts to walk towards the door.
Japanese Businessman: Those aren't your sons.
Carey: Oh I know.
Zack's response to an old woman who would repeatedly show up in various episodes to hit someone with her purse.