Funny / The Spy Who Loved Me

The Film

  • "What's the matter, sailor? You never seen a major take a shower before?"
  • The ending:
    M: 007!
    Gogol: Triple X!
    Defense Minister Grey: Bond, what do you think you're doing?
    Bond: (beat) Keeping the British end up, sir! (closes curtain)
    • Cue a big band reprise of "Nobody Does It Better".
  • Jaws, in the ruins, watches Bond and Anya escape in the telephone van. He picks up a huge boulder...and drops it on his foot. He doesn't scream, but his pained grimace is priceless.
  • Also, at the ruins: Bond single-handedly knocks down the scaffolding and says, "Egyptian builders!" This reportedly got the biggest laugh out of the Egyptian governmental advisors—the producers were concerned that they'd veto the line.
  • YET AGAIN in the ruins, when Anya and Bond try to escape in the van whilst Jaws rips the van apart, the entire scene is one MASSIVE snark fight between Bond and Anya.
    Bond: Thanks for deserting me back there...
    Anya: Every women for herself, remember?
    Bond: Still, you did save my life...
    Anya: We all make mistakes, Mr. Bond.
  • After Q gives Bond his new car:
    Bond: Q, have I ever let you down?
    Q: Frequently!
    • Thankfully for Q, the car survives the film, just like the Little Nellie from You Only Live Twice.
  • Meta-example: During a scene where Bond and Anya are walking through the desert, someone decided to put the soundtrack from Lawrence of Arabia over the action as a joke. It got such a good reaction that the cue made it into the final cut.
  • Roger Moore is at his cheeky best in this movie. The entire van sequence is priceless thanks to his continuous snarky commentary on Anya's driving. Best part - this was all ad-libbed, since no one knew that Barbara Bach couldn't drive stick.
    Now try R. That's "backwards".
    • And afterwards on the boat.
    Anya: I took a survival course in Siberia.
    Bond: Yes, I heard a lot of your people do.
  • Every time Jaws is thrown out of a vehicle or falls off a cliff, he fixes his suit and tie and walks away as if nothing happened.
  • Probably the only time someone pulls a No-Sell on Bond's Catch-Phrase:
    Bond: My name is Bond. James Bond.
    Max Kalba (unimpressed): What of it?
  • Stromberg dies with part of his face buried on a plate of lettuce. What a way to go.
  • Even the opening titles get one. Bond swaggers up to a squad of marching soldier girls and they become literal pushovers when faced with so much sexy.

The Novel