- From "Shakespeare's Sister:"
I thought that if you had an acoustic guitar
Then it meant that you were a protest singer
Oh I can smile about it now
But at the time it was terrible.
- "Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now" is about the persistence of depression, but it takes a far more darkly comedic and self-deprecating perspective than it gets credit for.
I was looking for a job, and then I found a job
and heaven knows I'm miserable now...
- Later in the song, the narrator flees in terror from a woman who offers to sleep with him. It's how he makes it sound like it was the only rational thing to do that really makes it.
- The narrator's absurd "Just Joking" Justification in "Bigmouth Strikes Again."
- From "The Queen is Dead:"
So, I broke into the palace
With a sponge and a rusty spanner
She said, "Eh, I know you, and you cannot sing"
I said, "That's nothing, you should hear me play piano"
- "He killed a policemen when he was thirteen / and somehow that really impressed me..."
- The morbidly hilarious "Unhappy Birthday," in which the narrator matter-of-factly commits suicide halfway through.
- From the same song: "I've come to wish you an unhappy birthday / 'cause you're evil and you lie / and if you should die, I may be slightly sad /but I won't cry."
- Morrissey's reaction to t.A.T.u.'s cover of "How Soon is Now:"
Interviewer: Did you hear t.A.T.u's version of 'How Soon Is Now'?
Morrissey: Yes, it was magnificent. Absolutely. Again, I don't know much about them.
Interviewer: They're the teenage Russian lesbians.
Morrissey: Well, aren't we all?