- From "Shakespeare's Sister":
I thought that if you had an acoustic guitar
Then it meant that you were a protest singer
Oh I can smile about it now
But at the time it was terrible.
- "Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now" is about the persistence of depression, but it takes a far more darkly funny and self-deprecating perspective than it gets credit for.
I was looking for a job, and then I found a job
and heaven knows I'm miserable now...
- Later in the song, the narrator flees in terror from a woman who offers to sleep with him. What really makes it funny is how he makes it sound like it was the only rational thing to do.
- The narrator's absurd "Just Joking" Justification in "Bigmouth Strikes Again".
- From "The Queen Is Dead":
So, I broke into the palace
With a sponge and a rusty spanner
She said, "Eh, I know you, and you cannot sing"
I said, "That's nothing, you should hear me play piano"
- "He killed a policemen when he was thirteen / and somehow that really impressed me..."
- The morbidly hilarious "Unhappy Birthday", in which the narrator matter-of-factly commits suicide halfway through.
- From the same song: "I've come to wish you an unhappy birthday / 'cause you're evil and you lie / and if you should die, I may be slightly sad /but I won't cry."
- Morrissey's reaction to tATu's cover of "How Soon Is Now?":
Interviewer: Did you hear t.A.T.u's version of 'How Soon Is Now'?
Morrissey: Yes, it was magnificent. Absolutely. Again, I don't know much about them.
Interviewer: They're the teenage Russian lesbians.
Morrissey: Well, aren't we all?
- The band's appearance on the kid's show Charlie's Bus, which finds them joining a bunch of schoolchildren on board a double-decker bus. This scene is a particular standout:
Young Girl: Where are we going?
Morrissey: We're all going mad.
Young Girl: I thought we were going to Kew Gardens.
(Morrissey turns to the camera with a smirk)
- "Frankly, Mr. Shankly", where the narrator snarks constantly to their boss while talking about their desire for musical fame.
"But sometimes I'd feel more fulfilled
Making Christmas cards with the mentally ill"
"Oh, I didn't realise that you wrote poetry
I didn't realise you wrote such bloody awful poetry Mr Shankly"
"Frankly, Mr Shankly, since you ask
You are a flatulent pain in the arse
I do not mean to be so rude
But still, I must speak frankly, Mr Shankly, give us money"
- Any of Morrissey's attempts at dancing.
- For those mercifully unaware, Morrissey's dancing can and may include: Morrissey lying down on the stage, Morrissey ripping off his shirt, Morrissey being hugged by stage-crashing audience members, Morrissey brandishing placards and Morrissey throwing flowers at the audience, as well as overdramatic gesturing, unnerving hip gyrations and a blatant disregard for anything approaching gracefulness. A classic example of Morrissey dancing is The Smiths performing "Still Ill" on The Tube.