Funny: The Railway Series

Toby the Tram Engine
  • In Dirty Objects, James mocks Toby's shabby paint. Toby has the last laugh in the conversation.
    "James," he asked, "why are you red?"
    "I am a splendid engine," answered James loftily, "ready for anything. You never see my paint dirty."
    "Oh!" said Toby innocently, "that's why you once needed bootlaces; to be ready, I suppose?"
    James went redder than ever and snorted off.

Duck and the Diesel Engine
  • The Barber telling off Duck for scaring his customer rather then crashing into the Barber Shop, then covering his face in shaving foam.
    Barber: It's only an engine.

Stepney the Bluebell Engine
  • From the beginning of "Bluebells of England", Percy is singing about the bluebells, which Douglas finds it annoying.
    Douglas: If you must sing, Percy, can't ye sing in tune?!