Funny: The Rachel Maddow Show

  • Says Rachel of what she will do to you if you "get lemon juice from anything other than a piece of fruit" while mixing a drink:
    Rachel: ...I will hide under your bed at night and grab your ankles when you wake up in the morning and terrify you forever. In my other life, I'm a goblin.
  • Her reaction to Louisiana governor Bobby Jindal's disastrous rebuttal to Barack Obama's 2009 State of the Union address:
    "Um. Ehh...ummm. Uh buh buh... [...] I know I'm paid to talk for a living. I am incapable of doing what I'm paid to do right now. I'm absolutely stunned."
  • Rachel is "accused" of being a Lesbian Vampire. Her response? "Oh no! They're onto me!"
  • Declaring "I'm old" after Ke$ha called her out for mispronouncing her name as "Keisha."
  • 11/14/13 : Rachel Maddow's impression of a pro-life group (who wanted to stop Romneycare) getting distracted. Fun starts at 10:30 into the video.
    Rachel: SQUIRREL!
  • Rachel's description of Richard Engel hijacking her rundown meeting to explain a Very Important Thing That Happened In Iraq. (It was important, and Richard did a very good job explaining it, but... he still hijacked Rachel's rundown meeting and it was hilarious.)
    Rachel: So this afternoon, we were having our news meeting for the show, like we do every day at lunchtime-ish. And while we were meeting, Richard Engel came by. Now, Richard is a world traveler. Literally, that‘s his job as NBC‘s chief foreign correspondent. So it‘s always nice to see Richard here at the office and we all said, 'Hi, Richard, it‘s great to see you!'

    But then he didn't leave. He was just hanging around while we kept going on with the meeting. I was like, 'Richard, do you want to add something to the meeting here?' And he said, 'YES! Let me tell you what just happened in Iraq. There‘s this huge deal that just happened.' And so he starts talking to all of us about this huge deal. And I notice his hand is twitching while he's talking. So I give Richard the pen for the whiteboard and he proceeds to diagram the huge deal that just happened in Iraq and what it means for the thousands of Americans who are still in Iraq right now and what‘s going to happen next.

    He finishes up... and we‘re all totally impressed and I said, 'Man, I wish you could do exactly that on the show tonight. Everybody who watches our show should just see what you just showed us. That was so amazing.' And so we make it so! NBC‘s chief foreign correspondent, Richard Engel. Richard, thank you for hijacking the meeting today.
  • When reporting how she's doing on her March Madness bracket, and how her score is identical to President Obama's, she makes a rare (for her) foray into Insane Troll Logic here.