Funny: The Nostalgia Chick 2013 Episodes
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The Fellowship of the Ring
- She opens the review with a resigned facepalm, showing her disappointment with The Hobbit.
- She snuck a copy of the Bible in between the various fantasy books in her picture of the typical fantasy bookshelf.
- Pointing out that Galadriel's "For none live who remember it" opening narration, for all its refined delivery, is pretty off-the-mark since she, Elrond, Saruman, and Gandalf are clearly still around.
- Addressing Frodo's ability to carry the One Ring in the most blunt way.
Chick!Gandalf: I get the Ring, I could become this (Sauron), or this (Balrog). You? Worst case scenario, this:Gollum: See what Sméagol finds?Chick!Gandalf: Because you do not matter and you have no power.
- After a quick bitch on how Elrond is too craggly to be an elf, squee-flailing when she finds out he could have been played by David Bowie.
- Launching into the final minutes of the review with a sweet, optimistic look at why it was important the film came out when it did...and capping it off with one more look at the Frodo fall counter.
- "Did you just make Boromir fall down too?"
- "TOM F**KING BOMBADIL"
- Playing the Xena: Warrior Princess theme song over the entire section about Arwen, which is actually about how she mostly doesn't fit that image.
The Two Towers
- Her briefly squeeing over Gollum.
''I once stood in line to see Andy Serkis. Got a picture and everything. He smelled nice.
- Ending the review with the Frodo Fall Counter.
- The music accompanying the shot of the orc carrying the torch? the Olympics theme.
The Return of the King, Part 1
- The Nostalgia Chick spending most of the latter half of the review gushing about her OTP: Éowyn/Merry!
- Regarding how Éowyn defeats the Witch-King:
"Cliche? Yes. Awesome? (whispers) Fuck yes."
- Her intensity of what can only be called shipping of Merry and Éowyn.
"That is not subtext, that is text."
The Return of the King, Part 2
- Her face when showing off the gigantic box set.
- Revisiting the Frodo fall counter.
- Her disbelief at the appearance of the eagles.
Chick: Sometimes, the needs of the plot outweigh the needs of the logic.
- She actually hired a Sassy Gay Friend.
- Rantasmo's opening and closing lines.
"Oh hey, Lindsay. What's up? [Beat] Girlfriends?""Sassy Gay Friend, out!"
- Lampshading the film's Ho Yay between Frodo and Sam.
- Her imitation of the film's Ending Fatigue, until finally she just tells us there's nothing more to see.
- Directly after criticizing Legolas's role as Captain Obvious, we get this:
Gimli: Never thought I'd die fighting side-by-side with an elf.Legolas: What about side-by-side with a friend?Nostalgia Chick: Baaaaaw okay I forgive your stupid one-liners, Legolas.
Return to Me
- Her constantly lampshading the weirdness of the premise for the movie (a widower falling in love with a woman who got his wife's heart in a surgery), including her Fridge Logic at the title in the end.
Disney Needs More Gay
- Chick and Nella in bed very Les Yay-ish which works greatly because of the subject.
- "My rights and dignity have been systematically marginalized... guuuuuurrrrrlll."
- The Chick attempting to make a Pet Homosexual out of Rantasmo and failing.
- Nella being relegated to the obligatory strawman. Remember that Nella is bi.
- At the end of the video both the Chick and Rantasmo both yelling "GUUURRRLLL!".
- Rantasmo is clearly made uncomfortable when the Chick talks about her right for her, as a female, to have a Gay Best Friend, and later when she excitedly goes on about the Disney princesses having gay friends as a positive result of more gay representation. That's some good acting.
Top Ten Music Videos of the Nineties
- Lindsay finds herself muscled out of her own game by Buzzfeed, and thus starts turning to other Nineties lists, ranging from "Top Ten Boy Band Jorts of the Nineties" to "Top Ten Death Cults of the Nineties."
- Her sheer excitement over Korn's "Freak on a Leash". Just the way she vividly describes how the bullet blows things up and her describing the band's members being in a "bullet hole world".
- Clapping in sheer glee over "I'd Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That)".
Helicopters at sunset. Helicopters at sunset. I should have known.
- Followed by her crushed reaction when she finds out it was directed by Michael Bay.
- This bit. The Chick's amused tone helps:
Backstreet Boy: Am I sexual?Chick: No, you're a mummy!
The Addams Family
- Lindsay (seemingly) having a difficult time snapping her fingers to the intro.