Funny / The Needle Drop

• In the I'm With You review, Anthony lets Cal Chuchesta "give some background information on the band":
  Cal: Thank you, Anthony. Uhh, the uhh, the band, the Red Hot Jalepino Pepper is a uhh, super duper group. Rock, rock music, that's very funky, with a lot of bass...
  (Anthony sighs)
  Cal: Like dom dom dolom. And uhh, their first album came out befur Anthony was burn. And uhh, California.
  (Anthony, baffled, looks at the camera and claps sarcastically.)
  Cal: Thank you. Thank you.
• The Unknown Pleasures review opens with this gem:
  Anthony: We're gonna be talking about Joy Division's Unknown Pleasures
  Cal: Total classic! Good classic right there!
  Anthony: I agree!
  Cal: Number one shirt! The best shirt ever!^context The album cover is a pretty popular shirt design.
  Anthony: (Annoyed) This is not just a T-Shirt.
  Cal: Of course it's a shirt! Best shirt ever! I've seen it.
  Anthony: (Looks it camera for a bit like he's trying to hold something in, before letting out an angry grunt that is edited to repeat a few times)
• Cal Chuchesta's brief stint working at MTV.
• Oh dear god... his review of Filthy Frank's album Pink Guy. How? Well, Anthony's biggest complaint is that it wasn't offensive enough. Then he goes on and ramble about things that completely weren't on the album like 30 Rick Ross and a Beyonce feature and that the song "Kill Yourself" didn't make him want to kill himself.
  • Cal's part. For one thing, Cal is dressed like Anthony and states he's staying out of the review, confirming it's going to be "Low-Cal". Before saying after a Beat, FUNNY!.
• Cal's song, "iwas throwin up (on a teusdeay)".
  • As well as "coco (teh drenk!)".
  • If the cocoa song wasn't bad enough, Cal got Filthy Frank and Pink Guy for the remix.
    • The moment when Cal compliments himself and then thanks himself.
  "Get your butt to the store, and buy me a baby seal! Cuz that's...the deal! (Good rhyme!) Thanks! (You're welcome!)"
• The start of the To Be Kind review. Cal is standing by a sign that spoils the review, letting the audience know that the album will get a 10/10. Anthony angrily demands that Cal cover up the sign, and Cal obliges by standing in front of it. He then stays there, even while he's talking to Anthony.
• The start of the Government Plates review. While Anthony talks, Cal is grinning excitedly and holding up a piece of paper with "10/10" written on it. Anthony then states that he was feeling nothing more than a 6 on the record. Cut to Cal, with a mortified expression on his face, as the paper falls from his hands.
• Anthony and Cal's cameo in Frank Jav Cee's "how to review an album". Anthony is watching a video of Frank reviewing his own album, and he is superimposed over a vinyl collection via green screen. Cal doesn't know what green screen is and repeatedly compliments the collection, even saying that Frank is "a better music man" than Anthony.
  Cal: Listen to 'em in the car...(cut to Anthony with a blank expression)...listen to 'em in the shower...
  Anthony: Or...outside.
  Cal: Listen to 'em out—
  Anthony: OUTSI—
  (Smash Cut to Cal standing in the backyard shivering and holding a vinyl)
• From Anthony's review of Death Grips' "Birds":
  Cal: AYE PAPPED A MALLY, AND I'M SWEATIN'! WOO!
• The ending to his review on the album Darker Witchcraft by Trap Them. After Anthony scores the album, Cal comes in complaining that he's not interested in the obscure bands Anthony reviews (all while Anthony looks at the audience and quietly says "I hate Cal Chuchesta") and screws up Trap Them's name by calling them "Mouse Trap" as he says they're "not a good band" and says they would only be good if "they'd be number one on the cherts". Cue Anthony giving a huge "SHUT UP!" to Cal as he jumps in fright and storms off.
• In Anthony's review of The Pop Group's new album Citizen Zombie, Cal interrupts him and asks if the band really are pop music. As Anthony tries to explain that isn't the case, Cal interrupts him again and insists they "gotta be real, gotta be that real pop-", to which a furiously Anthony screams "WE'RE NOT GONNA GO THERE!!", causing Cal to hit the wall and slide down it slowly. Anthony then just continues the review like nothing.
• In his Powers That B review, Anthony tries keeping the viewer waiting for just a bit longer ("Susthony Spencetano" indeed) before giving the review, before Cal finally caves in and shouts, "REVIEW THE DANG ALBUM ALREADY! GINNY DEBT 10!"
  • And Anthony's reaction afterwards.
  "God..DAMMIT!"
• In his Currents review, when Anthony notes on the album's new sound, we have Cal going into meltdown with "I DON'T LIKE CHANGE!"
• EVERYTHING off of Anthony's review of Cal Chuchesta's "mixtape" 'The New CALassic', just the surreal and abstractness of the review.
  • The beginning just being Anthony looking he's regretting everything at the moment while Cal is dancing in the background, asking him to review his mix tape.
• During the 'Cal is in Hell' arc, Anthony gets a hold of the contract Cal signed with the Damon, only to find out it was literally just a piece of paper that says "YOU GO TO HELL". Anthony is obviously not amused.
• From his review of Miley Cyrus and her Dead Petz: WHY DEY PUT DA DICK IN DA PUSSY?
  • "(Beat) Fuck you."
  • This was continued into the comments where Anthony posted four comments all saying "WHY THEY PUT THE DICK IN THE PUSSY?"
  • "Okay, you smoke pot? So does everyone else and no-one cares."
  • WHAT DOES IT MEEEEAAAAAAAN?!
  • The beginning of the review simply has Cal begging Anthony not to review the album...and Anthony just has a blank expression.
  Cal: No, Anthony, no! Don't do it! Don't pap a Miley!
  • "....Fuck it. Strong 1. *exits*"
• In his Pound Syndrome review, Cal gets confused over Hopsin's name.
• Anthony's Every Open Eye review has Cal proclaiming his love for "Laurey". Anthony then reprimands him for being a sexist pig.
• The opening for the review of The Incredible True Story by Logic features Cal doing a dramatic reading of a youtube comment.
• The spoof of the opening monologue from "Let's Go Crazy" in the Purple Rain review.
• His review of the Star Wars Head Space compilation is a thorough thrashing, and as a bonus, the typical "Listen" link in his description instead links you to this clip.
• His entire 50-minute video for Corey Feldman's Angelic 2 The Core album, mainly due to the album just being that incredibly So Bad, It's Good, and Anthony's frequent hysterical reactions to its sheer incompetence. Some more specific examples, though:
  • "If you just kinda want to laugh at it a little bit, if you really want to make yourself question whether or not you should live, and y'know, get those suicidal thoughts bubbling up in your head, please, listen to this whole record, because that's going to happen!"
  • Anthony's sheer contempt at the bizarre skits (which inexplicably disappear halfway through the album without resolution), especially with how despite them clearly being a Charlie's Angels reference, they're introduced using the intro sound to the Adam West Batman TV show.
  • This bit:
  Female Backup: Come on boy, play with me...
  Corey Feldman: *in his growly singing voice* I wanna get a taste...
  Anthony: (stops the song) "Ooh, I don't want to hear about Corey Feldman tasting anything in a sexual manner."
  • (while slowly spinning in place) "How is this legal? How is this allowed? How is this okay? Shouldn't someone go to jail? Shouldn't someone be in prison?"
  • "Goddamn! I can't say no to the beat! I can't say no to the beat!"
  • "We're already in this deep, we're already this close to killing ourselves. Let's just take that extra step and see if that happens."
  • "'Bring the stars up to the moon'? The stars are farther away than the moon."
  • (referring to a godawful jazz-inspired piece) "Y'know, it's stuff like this that when people say 'White people ruin everything,' I know that's not true, but in the face of this, I can't come up with a retort."
  • "'Thinking about my niece?' I know he didn't say 'knees,' but 'my niece?' I get he's a concerned uncle."
• His NOT GOOD of The Chainsmokers' Memories...Do Not Open — in which he slams it for being incredibly clichéd, shallow, disingenuous, and downright patronizing to its teenage audience to the point of insult — is hilariously yet poignantly summed up in the last 20 seconds.
  "It's not this album's sound as much as what it sounds like that makes it so terrible to my ears, because this album sounds like a fake polaroid."
  "This album sounds like nothing bad ever happened to you."
  "This album sounds like you have at least two friends with trust funds."
  "This album sounds like your mom paid for your concert tickets."
  "This album sounds like your only concern in life is when Kylie Jenner is posting to Snapchat again."
  "This album sounds like you spend too much time on your phone."
• From "SIRI PICKS THE BEST ALBUMS":
  • "Siri, what is the best Hopsin album?" ... "It is Ra-" "JOKING, THERE'S NO GOOD HOPSIN ALBUM"
  • The best Can album? "Blood by Kendrick Lamar is number 1."
  • Siri picking Dopethrone as the best Electric Wizard album and the best Ghost album.
  • For the last question, Anthony chooses The Rolling Stones:
    Anthony: Siri, what is the best Rolling Stones album? *under his breath* If you say it's the new one^note Blue and Lonesome I will fucking kill you.
    Siri: Anthony, your language!
• Anthony's scathing review of Eminem's Revival features some deadpan readings of the worst bars on the album, accompanied by a lackluster crowd booing sound effect.
  • Anthony's rendition of the "Framed" hook is accentuated with the video being rotated in a hilariously low-budget effect:
    Anthony: I was fraaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAaaaaamed! He got nothing to do with meEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
• The NOT GOOD of Future's "Hndrxx" in its entirety is a hilarious roasting, especially as Anthony addresses Future's attempts at being sensual or sexy. This culminates in the mention of the "Gushy, gush, so soaky" line, which he's so enamoured with that he listed it as one of the genres in the video description.
  Anthony: I can't think of four words that would end sex faster than "Gushy gush so soaky." If anybody's willing to take one for the team and do a bit of a social experiment; in the middle of sex, just... "Gushy gush, so soaky!"
• SIRI PICKS THE BEST ALBUMS AGAIN
  • Anthony asking Siri what the best Lil B album is was somehow interpreted as, "Siri what is the best little bitch album". A second attempt causes Siri to respond with, "Best of Bobby Bland, B.B. King and Little Junior Parker", prompting Anthony to correct it manually.
  • "Siri, what is the best Pink Floyd album?" is asked, and right when Anthony vocally speculates that it's The Dark Side of the Moon, Siri immediately answers with exactly that, much to Anthony's frustration.
  Anthony: Fuck you! It's not! It's overhyped! It's overrated, ok? It's not even their most ambitious musical statement.
  • "Siri, what is the best New Order" album?" is met with, "It is Order", prompting Anthony to give his iPhone a spanking.
• SIRI PICKS THE BEST ALBUMS ONCE MORE
  • "Siri, what is the best U2 album?" (beat) "It is ''Rather You Than Me". And Siri gives the same answer on a second attempt.
• Cal's dance moves in the NOT GOOD of The Nostalgia Critic's The Wall, plus Anthony's deadpan Nostalgia Critic-themed parody of "Another Brick in the Wall (Part 2)".
• Usually at the beginning of the Let's Argue videos, Anthony will play bass. Once, though, he holds the bass over his head and just shouts "DOOBITY-BOP!" over and over again.
  • In another, he presents us with a masterpiece of a song:
    Anthony: Put Let's Argue on my screen, to be on Let's Argue's the American dream, if I'm on Let's Argue I'm gonna scream, AHH AHH AHH AHH AHH AHH AHH AHH AHH AHH AHHHHHH
• Try not to laugh at Anthony's "review" of Blarf's album, Cease & Desist. If Anthony belching at the camera for four minutes straight won't make you laugh, Cal Chuchesta will:
  Cal: Burp!
  * More belches from Anthony*
  Cal: Buuuurp!
  * A few more belches from Anthony*
  Cal: Burp!
  * A couple more belches from Anthony*
  Cal: I'm burping! I'm burping too!
  * Anthony keeps belching*
  Cal: I'm all burped out, I tell ya.
• His Rapper Tier List where he ranks the most famous rappers based on their height.
  • It becomes even funnier when he had to rank Shaq (who had a disastrous rap career) the only S-tier because he's 7'1".
• Anthony accidentally gives Hopsin's No Shame "a light to decent 7" before catching himself.
  Anthony: Oh fuck. Light to decent 7. What am I on crack?
• Every Nav review - all of which are a NOT GOOD - has a few gems.
  • The Reckless review contains an infamous Fantano deadpan lyric reading from "Glow Up" and "Just Happened", the latter of which Anthony can't help but snicker at.
    Anthony: "When I'm fucked up you're the one I'm always hitting / When I lost you I feel like I lost my kidneys" - LIKE I LOST MY KIDNEYS! The demise of our relationship has resulted in me going to regular dialysis treatments!
  • Bad Habits has Anthony reminding Nav that despite his posturing, the rap game wouldn't be any different without him...using as evidence the time Nav tried to retire from music and the entire internet laughed at him so hard he got mad and un-retired.
  • Good Intentions and Brown Boy 2 begins with an anime parody intro of Anthony and Cal being cornered by the titular albums, and Anthony saving both their lives by saying the albums are "NOT GOOD", despite his warning that "saying it a third time could be dangerous!"
  • Emergency Tsunami has Anthony calling out his entire audience expecting him to give every Nav release a NOT GOOD before immediately caving and doing just that. The biggest compliment he gives the album is that sometimes the beats are so good he wishes someone else was rapping over them.
  • Demons Protected by Angels is Anthony's first non-NOT GOOD review of a Nav project...because the review script was written by an AI. Anthony keeps breaking down laughing at the absurd tangents that the AI decides to go on. The final rating: 4 out of stars.
  Anthony: "On top of being an incredible artist, Nav is also a — (wheeze) — a devout Christian."
• While talking about Trout Mask Replica, he references the album's infamous impenetrability:
  Anthony: But this is still an album that, without a doubt, I could show to numerous people who've never heard of it, young and old, and I will most likely get the response of: WHAT ARE THEY DOING?!
• His review of Trapt's Shadow Work, which is presented as a Top 10. None of the 10 spots goes to one of the songs present in the album and he talks about different versions of the song "Headstrong" that don't even exist.
  Anthony: Coming in at number 7, we have the sex-positive rager: "Headstrong". Over the years, Trapt has proven themselves not just to be a band open to musical experimentation, but sexual experimentation, and with tantric riffs and sensual lyrics, they certainly put those proclivities in very bold lettering on this particular song, showing that when it comes to Trapt, the head is always strong.
• The Let's Argue episodes about the worst lyrics of all time lead Anthony to surprised laughter several times.
  Anthony: "I have a daughter, I'm buying her Baby Birkin / Fucked her good" (laughing) "and got her legs hurtin'", from the man Gunna!
  Anthony: Big Sean on "I Do It", "she put that thong on my groin groin and then it" (wheezes) "go boing"?! (laughing)
• During his review of Machine Gun Kelly' Mainstream Sellout, one of his complaints about the song "Emo Girl" is how non-specifically MGK describes the titular protagonist. And then, he decides to do a similar song, but about football players. Behold this masterpiece.
  Anthony: He wears pants and he sleeps with a night light / Drives a car and he flushes the toilet
• His review of First Two Pages of Frankenstein by The National is just ten minutes of the melon sleeping, all of which is shot exactly like one of his regular reviews.
• From his review of Honestly, Nevermind by Drake:
  Anthony: That final part of the song is about how a pussy is calling Drake's name.
  Anthony: You gotta be doing some crazy shit to the pussy for it to go "Aubrey".
• When talking about "We Love You", from Avenged Sevenfold, and the strange mouth noises heard on this track:
  Anthony: IS THIS GOO-GOO GAH-GAH METAL? WHAT THE F-
• During his Classics Week review of Lincoln by They Might Be Giants, Anthony describes how the band's tone has always been so uniquely and identifiably "nerdy", which he quantifies as not being the "Hollywood" kind where a character is portrayed as "nerdy", "but when they take their glasses off, they're actually really sexy." Cue Anthony — the Internet's Busiest Music Nerd — then taking a long, silent beat contemplating his statement before slowly taking his glasses off and smiling awkwardly at the camera.

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