Funny / The Muppet Movie

  • Statler and Waldorf's heckling at the beginning: "Private screening?" "Yeah, they're afraid to show it in public!"
    • Later, while the Show Within a Show is being fixed: "So, what do you think of the movie so far?" "I've seen detergents that leave a better film than this!"
  • Drinks on the house, and a fork in the road!
    • To explain the former, when the Bar Brawl at the El Sleazo starts to get out of control, Fozzie dresses up as the bartender and yells, "Free drinks! On the house!" the customers cheer and stampede out of the place. We cut to roof of the El Sleazo, with the bar patrons confusedly asking where the free drinks are.
    Fozzie: Works every time.
  • Meeting Big Bird on the side of the road.
    Fozzie: Hey, there, want a lift?
    Big Bird: Oh, no thanks. I'm on my way to New York City, to try and break into public television!
  • After the Electric Mayhem help disguise the Studebaker.
    Fozzie: I don't know how to thank you guys!
    Kermit: I don't know why to thank you guys.
  • Accidentally buying a $11.95 car.
    Gonzo: Less our twelve-dollar trade-in! You owe us a nickel.
    (Followed by a disgusted used car dealer—played by Milton Berle—holding a nickel.)
  • Gonzo's breathlessly excited commentary when flying via balloons.
    Gonzo: This is like flying! Maybe it is flying. I'M FLYING!!!
  • Steve Martin's cameo as the waiter.
    "Sparkling Muscatel, one of the finest wines of Idaho!"
    Prof. Krassman: When a German scientist says "hold on to your hat", it's not casual conversation! Hold on to your hat! Hat! Hold! Gut!
    • After they're rescued from their torture, Piggy and Kermit embrace for a romantic moment...before Piggy takes a call from her agent and books a commercial gig, walking out without saying another word to Kermit. Her muttering over the phone is really what makes the gag.
    Kermit: Hello? (Beat) Uh, Piggy, it's your agent.
    Piggy (sweetly): Thank you! (gruff sotto voice) Yea Morty what you got? (Beat) Commercial? (Beat) How much? Mmhmm. When? (Beat) Take it. (Hangs up, turns to Kermit) Um...bye!
  • Animal helping Bunsen test the sound equipment during the interlude of "The Magic Store":
    Animal: TESTING!
    (Bunsen's headphones jump around)
  • The 'Hare Krishna' Running Gag;
    • In the swamp...
    Bernie the Agent: I have lost my sense of direction!
    Kermit: Have you tried Hare Krishna?
    • At the El Sleazo Cafe...
    Kermit: '(About Fozzie)'' This guy's lost.
    Waiter: Maybe he should try Hare Krishna.
    • Culminating at the church where the Electric Mayhem are, with a sign that says "Lost? Have you tried Rev. Harry Krishna?"
  • Another Running Gag/Chekhov's Gag involving the introduction of Sweetums. Originally the "jack" for car dealer Berle, he starts chasing Kermit and company when he learns they're going to Hollywood. We see him one time in Miss Piggy's entrance scene, and then, finally, he crashes through the projector screen as the movie-within-the-movie finishes, finally catching up with everybody.
  • To prove this movie has No Fourth Wall, at one point in the movie Kermit hands the script to said movie over to Electric Mayhem to explain Kermit and Fozzie's story as to why they're traveling, as an alternative to summarizing the whole movie up to that point, since as Kermit points out, "it'll bore the audience!"
  • This exchange:
    Dr. Teeth: It's the man with the badge, the PO-lice, the cops, the fuzz, the P-I-...
    Miss Piggy: Don't you dare!
    Dr. Teeth: I wouldn't think of it.
  • Kermit rolling through town on his bicycle before nearly getting himself run over by a steam roller.
    Kermit: (Stares upon his destroyed bike) Hmph. That's pretty dangerous, building a road in the middle of the street! I mean, if frogs couldn't hop, I'd be gone with the Schwinn.
  • Fozzie driving through a forest, looking around appreciatively. "Ahh, a bear in his natural habitat. (Beat) A Studebaker."
  • Fozzie's standup:
    Fozzie: There was this sailor, who was so fat...
    Fat Sailor in Audience: How fat was he?! (smashes bottle on table)
    Fozzie: Uh...he was so fat that everybody liked him, and there was nothing funny about him at all.
    • "I'm a professional! I've had three performances!"
  • Swedish Chef's description of the malfunctioning projector, ending with "Der flip flip flip flip flip!"
    Chef: Der flim is okey-dokey!
  • Kermit and Fozzie crashing into Gonzo on the highway:
    Kermit: Fozzie, look at that funny little truck.
    Fozzie: Yeah, cute huh?
    Kermit: No, it's coming straight at us! (Everybody in both cars scream and panic, then the truck vanishes) ....We missed it!
    Gonzo: (Emerging from their rooftop) Oh??? You call that a miss?!
  • The exchange between Fozzie and Gonzo in the car:
    Gonzo: I always wanted to go to Bombay, India, and become a movie star.
    Fozzie: You don't go to Bombay to become a movie star. You go where we're going, Hollywood!
    Gonzo: Sure, if you want to do it the easy way.
    (Beat)
    Fozzie: (singsongy) We picked up a weirdo...
  • El Sleezo Cafe is filled with outrageous stereotypes of all shapes and sizes. Apparently, it's the bar that all jokes walk into.
  • When the Electric Mayhem is introducing themselves to Kermit and Fozzie...
    Floyd: Show 'em what you do, Animal!
    Animal: Ah, what do! Eat drums! (Begins gnawing on his cymbals)
    Dr. Teeth: No no, beat drums! Beat drums!
    Animals: (Stops) ...Beat drums! Beat drums! (Begins head butting his drums)
  • Miss Piggy singing "Never Before, Never Again", accompanied by a mockingly saccharin love montage. Especially funny is the end of the song when Piggy tries to hit a high note, and goes completely off-key.
  • In the ghost town scene when Kermit encounters a rain barrel that plays loud music. Dr. Bunsen Honeydew explains what it is.
    Kermit the Frog: (As the barrel plays Lady of Spain) YIKES! (Calmly) What is that?!?
    Dr. Bunsen Honeydew: That is one of my latest invention, A Musical Rotating Rain Barrel.
    Kermit the Frog: Oh, Yeah!
    Dr. Bunsen Honeydew: You see, I am Dr. Bunsen Honeydew, And this is my assistant, Beaker. We live here perfecting useful inventions. Come in, Come in!
  • Fozzie and Kermit enter an old church to see the Electric Mayhem jamming out...
    Fozzie: They don't look like Presbyterians to me.

Meta

  • The labeling of the Blu-Ray, "The Muppet Movie: The Nearly 35th Anniversary Edition", hangs a lampshade on Disney's tendency to release anniversary editions of their movies either one year early or one year too late. (e.g. the Mary Poppins 50th Anniversary Edition, which was released during the year of its 49th anniversary.)

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