- Statler and Waldorf's heckling at the beginning: "Private screening?" "Yeah, they're afraid to show it in public!"
- Later, while the Show Within a Show is being fixed: "Well, how do you like the film?" "I've seen detergents that leave a better film than this!"
- Kermit rolling through town on his bicycle before nearly getting himself run over by a steam roller.
: (Stares upon his destroyed bike)
Hmph. That's pretty dangerous, building a road in the middle of the street! I mean, if frogs couldn't hop, I'd be gone with the Schwinn
- Fozzie's standup:
Fozzie: There was this sailor, who was so fat...
Fat Sailor in Audience: How fat was he?! (smashes bottle on table)
Fozzie: Uh...he was so fat that everybody liked him, and there was nothing funny about him at all.
- "I'm a professional! I've had three performances!"
- When the Bar Brawl at the El Sleazo Café starts to get out of control, Fozzie dresses up as the bartender and yells, "Okay boys, drinks are on the house!" The customers cheer and stampede out of the place. We cut to roof, with the bar patrons confusedly asking where the free drinks are.
Fozzie: Works every time.
- During the "Moving Right Along" number:
- Fozzie driving through a forest, looking around appreciatively. "Ahh, a bear in his natural habitat. (Beat) A Studebaker."
- Meeting Big Bird on the side of the road.
Fozzie: Hey, there, want a lift?
Big Bird: Oh, no thanks. I'm on my way to New York City, to try and break into public television!
- "We're moving right along / Hey LA, where've you gone?" "Send someone to fetch us / we're in Saskatchewan!" Cue Kermit and Fozzie driving past a baffled Mountie.
- After the Electric Mayhem help disguise the Studebaker.
- Accidentally buying a $11.95 car.
Gonzo: Less our twelve-dollar trade-in! You owe us a nickel.
(Followed by a disgusted used car dealer—played by Milton Berle—holding a nickel.)
- Gonzo's breathlessly excited commentary when flying via balloons.
Gonzo: This is like flying! Maybe it is flying. I'M FLYING!!!
- Steve Martin's cameo as the waiter.
- Mel Brooks' cameo as an Herr Doktor soon after.
- After they're rescued from their torture, Piggy and Kermit embrace for a romantic moment...before Piggy takes a call from her agent and books a commercial gig, walking out without saying another word to Kermit. Her muttering over the phone is really what makes the gag.
Kermit: Hello? (Beat) Uh, Piggy, it's your agent.
Piggy (sweetly): Thank you! (gruff sotto voice) Yea Morty what you got? (Beat) Commercial? (Beat) How much? Mmhmm. When? (Beat) Take it. (Hangs up, turns to Kermit) Um...bye!
- Animal helping Bunsen test the sound equipment during the interlude of "The Magic Store":
(Bunsen's headphones jump around)
- The 'Hare Krishna' Running Gag;
- Another Running Gag/Chekhov's Gag involving the introduction of Sweetums. Originally the "jack" for "Mad Man" Mooney, he starts chasing Kermit and company when he learns they're going to Hollywood. We see him one time in Miss Piggy's entrance scene, and then, finally, he crashes through the projector screen as the movie-within-the-movie finishes, finally catching up with everybody.
- To prove this movie has No Fourth Wall, at one point in the movie Kermit hands the script to said movie over to Electric Mayhem to explain Kermit and Fozzie's story as to why they're traveling, as an alternative to summarizing the whole movie up to that point, since as Kermit points out, "it'll bore the audience!"
- This exchange:
Dr. Teeth: It's the man with the badge, the PO-lice, the cops, the fuzz, the P-I-...
Dr. Teeth: I wouldn't think of it.
- Swedish Chef's description of the malfunctioning projector, ending with "Der flip flip flip flip flip!"
Chef: Der flim is okey-dokey!
- Kermit and Fozzie crashing into Gonzo on the highway:
Kermit: Fozzie, look at that funny little truck.
Fozzie: Yeah, cute huh?
Gonzo: (Emerging from their rooftop) Oh??? You call that a miss?!
- The exchange between Fozzie and Gonzo in the car:
I always wanted to go to Bombay, India
, and become a movie star.
Fozzie: You don't go to Bombay to become a movie star. You go where we're going, Hollywood!
Gonzo: Sure, if you want to do it the easy way.
Fozzie: (singsongy) We picked up a weirdo...
- El Sleezo Cafe is filled with outrageous stereotypes of all shapes and sizes. Apparently, it's the bar that all jokes walk into.
- When Teddy Savalas tells Madeline Khan she'll get warts from touching Kermit, Kermit informs him it's just a myth.
El Sleezo Tough: Yes, but she's my myth.
Kermit: No, no, myth, myth!
"Myth" (Carol Kane): Yeth?
- And again when Hopper claims his operation is expanding, just like frogs do.
Kermit: That's a myth.
Hopper: A what?
Kermit: Myth! Myth!
Myth: (appearing behind the billboard) Yeth?
- When the Electric Mayhem is introducing themselves to Kermit and Fozzie...
Floyd: Show 'em what you do, Animal!
Animal: Ah, what do! Eat drums! (Begins gnawing on his cymbals)
Dr. Teeth: No no, beat drums! Beat drums!
Animals: (Stops) ...Beat drums! Beat drums! (Begins head butting his drums)
- Miss Piggy singing "Never Before, Never Again", accompanied by a mockingly saccharin love montage. Especially funny is the end of the song when Piggy tries to hit a high note, and goes completely off-key.
- In the ghost town scene when Kermit encounters a rain barrel that plays loud music. Dr. Bunsen Honeydew explains what it is.
Kermit the Frog: (As the barrel plays Lady of Spain) YIKES! (Calmly) What is that?!?
Dr. Bunsen Honeydew: That is one of my latest invention, A Musical Rotating Rain Barrel.
Kermit the Frog: Oh, Yeah!
Dr. Bunsen Honeydew: You see, I am Dr. Bunsen Honeydew, And this is my assistant, Beaker. We live here perfecting useful inventions. Come in, Come in!
- Fozzie and Kermit enter an old church to see the Electric Mayhem jamming out...
Fozzie: They don't look like Presbyterians to me.
- Kermit as a movie director.
Kermit: Miss Piggy, you look beautiful!
Miss Piggy: Thank you!
Kermit: (aside) Hollywood talk.