"We have a giraffe. There you go son, now get out of here you bother me."
For one without the titular character, Stanley's replacement car breaks down in the middle of a bridge. He gets out to see what's wrong, gets burned when trying to open the hood, and angrily kicks the car. That then falls apart in the funniest way possible.
The Mask: Hold me closer Red. It's getting dark. (cough, cough cough) Tell Auntie Em to let Old Yeller out. (cough- cough, cough) Tell Tiny Tim I won't be coming down this Christmas. (COUGH, COUGH COUGH) Tell Scarlet Idogive a damn. (COUGH, fart) Pardon me. (dead)
Which is immediately followed by The Mask being handed an Oscar and tearfully thanks an audience that has appeared on the bottom of the screen while the two thugs around him are standing around wondering what the hell is going on, even as they unconsciously try to make themselves look respectable.
Doyle: Really big sunglasses... Cop:: Bike horn... Doyle: Small mouth bass... Cop:: Bowling Pin... Doyle: (snap) Aaaaa! Mouse Trap... Cop:: Rubber Chicken... The Mask: A little to the left... that's it. Doyle: (squeezes a stress reliever toy a few times) mmmm, I don't know. Funny eyeball glasses? The Mask: I've never seen those before in my life. Cop: Bazooka? The Mask: I have a permit for that. Doyle: Picture of Kellaway's wife... The Mask: Uh oh! Kellaway: What?! [sees the picture of his wife in a sexy outfit] MARGARET! YOU SON OF A BITCH! The Mask: Geez! I figured you had a sense of humor. After all... YOU MARRIED HER! Kellaway: (wordless rage) The Mask:(SLAP SLAP SLAP SLAP SLAP SLAP!) That's gotta hurt! Eheheheheh! (zooms away)
What really sells it is that the picture of Kellaway's wife has it written "Call Me Lover 555-9371"
In the last fight with Dorian. "I hope you can enjoy your victory with one friggin' eye!" (poke)
Stanley trying to convince the mask expert (played by Ben Stein) that the mask is magical. He's not amused.
"Somebody stole your pajamas?"
The Mask trying to not wake Mrs. Peanman...only for an bouncing alarm clock to jump out of his pocket. He deals with this the only way he can: try to smash it with a giant mallet.