Funny / The Mask

  • When Stanley breaks into Kathy's apartment to steal back the Mask, he gets smashed over the head with a lamp. Two police officers show up and get smashed with a lamp by Big Head. One of them draws his guns and shoots Big Head between the eyes. Big Head hits him with a lamp and goes to the fridge to grab a beer. Then one of the police officers wakes up... and hits Big Head over the head with a lamp. Big Head... pulls out two revolvers and shoots both of them dead.
    Kathy: "You... you killed him! My god, you killed him!"
    Big Head: "Hey, don't blame me, you're the one with all the lamps!"
  • For one without the titular character, Stanley's replacement car breaks down in the middle of a bridge. He gets out to see what's wrong, gets burned when trying to open the hood, and angrily kicks the car... which then proceeds to fall apart in the funniest way possible.
  • The Mask trying to not wake Mrs. Peenman with a "shh" to the audience... only for an bouncing alarm clock to jump out of his pocket. He deals with this the only way he can: by trying to smash it with a giant mallet.
    The Mask: *smashes clock* Snoooooooze!
  • "Look, ma! I'm roadkill!"
  • Squeeze Me Gently.
  • The whole scene with the alley punks.
    Punk: Hey, Mister, you got the time?
    The Mask: As a matter of fact I do, cubby! [Produces a pocket watch] LOOK AT THAT!! It's exactly two seconds before I honk your nose and pull your underwear over your head! [DING! HONK! YOINK!]
    • "We have a giraffe. There you go son, now get out of here, you bother me."
    • Then the condom. "Sorry, wrong pocket."
    • "And for you...a French Poodle!" *PAF* "Sorry, son, the dog was rabid; had to put him down." (That particular thug's crestfallen expression is what sells it.)
    • "A TOMMY GUN!"
  • "Somebody stole your pajamas?"
  • "It's PARTY time! P-A-R-T-Why? Because I gotta!"
  • The Oscar Bait scene:
    The Mask: Hold me closer, Red. It's getting dark. (cough, cough, cough) Tell Auntie Em to let Old Yeller out. (cough... cough, cough) Tell Tiny Tim I won't be coming 'ome this Christmas. (COUGH, COUGH COUGH) Tell Scarlet I do give a damn. (COUGH, fart) Pardon me. (dead)
    The Mask (as Elvis): Thank you very much. *swivels hips to dodge bullets*
  • Stanley trying to convince the mask expert, Dr. Neuman (played by Ben Stein), that the Mask is magical. Neuman is not amused.
  • The Extended Disarming scene in the park, in which the Mask has unusually deep pockets:
    Doyle: Really big sunglasses...
    Cop: Bike horn...
    Doyle: Small-mouth bass... wow!
    Cop: Bowling pin...
    Doyle: [snap] Aaaaa! Mouse Trap...
    Cop: Rubber chicken...
    The Mask: A little to the left... that's it.
    Doyle: [squeezes a stress reliever toy a few times] mmmm, I don't know. Funny eyeball glasses...
    The Mask: I've never seen those before in my life.
    Cop: Bazooka...
    The Mask: I have a permit for that.
    Doyle: Picture of Kellaway's wife...
    Kellaway: What?!
    The Mask: Uh-oh!
    Kellaway: [sees the picture of his wife in a sexy outfit] MARGARET! YOU SON OF A BITCH!
    The Mask: Geez! I figured you had a sense of humor. After all... YOU MARRIED HER!
    Kellaway: [wordless rage]
    The Mask: [SLAP SLAP SLAP SLAP SLAP SLAP!] That's gotta hurt! Eheheheheh! [zooms away]
    • What really sells it is that the picture of Kellaway's wife has it written "Call Me Lover 555-9371"
  • "Cuban Pete". Especially when Doyle briefly joins in.
    Kellaway: Start dancin' and I'll blow your brains out.
  • "Sure, Stanley Ipkiss is gonna fall right into my lap!" And not even two seconds later...
  • In the last fight with Dorian.
    Stanley: I hope you can enjoy your victory with one friggin' eye! (poke)
  • After taking innumerable bullets as he jumps behind the bar at the Coco Bongo, The Mask emerges with this:
    The Mask: Did you miss me? (chugs down a cocktail, which immediately pours from his gunshot wounds) I GUESS NOT!
  • Stanley's friend Charlie brings in The Cavalry: "Officers! Arrest those men! [Beat] I've Always Wanted to Say That."
    • Kellaway takes back his gun from him: "Give me that gun!"
  • "Not the cheese, the keys".

Animated Series
  • In the episode Sister Mask, when Pretorius is turned from a huge spider into a ball and controlled by his own mind-control device, he lets out a Big "NO!".
  • The two-part crossover with the Ace Ventura animated series was chock full of hilarious moments, although one of the best was in "Have Mask, Will Travel", when the Mask managed to briefly wind up on Ace's ass. That bit was hilarious on its own, but what made it even funnier was what happened when Stanley got it back.
    The Mask: Let's bring this party to a close. But first! And I do mean "butt" first... EWWWWWW! (Pulls a sink out of nowhere and begins scrubbing his face frantically) I know where it's been, I know where it's been, I KNOW WHERE IT'S BEEN!
  • In "Fantashtick Voyage", The Mask indirectly causes Milo to become sick with a computer virus, so Stanley leaves behind a prerecorded tape for The Mask to let him know about Milo's situation. It naturally has a few The Tape Knew You Would Say That moments, but it's the very end of the tape that gets this troper every time.
    Video!Stanley: You do something about this, buddy. Or so help me, I will stick this mask in the Smithsonian, where NO ONE will ever wear it again! (puts on the mask)
    Video!Mask: (panicked) IN THE NAME OF HEAVEN, DO IT, MAN! I THINK HE MEANS IT!!!
  • "Mutiny of the Bounty Hunters" has Stanley watching over his neighbor's infant son who wanders off chasing a bird. The baby puts on the Mask and yells "BIRDIE!" "BIRDIE!" in a deep, raspy voice.