- Nearly any scene involving Porthos.
Porthos: I just said you're praying. Are you deaf too? I know you're blind, because if you'd seen the tits that just walked out of here, you'd have tears in your eyes.Aramis: Sometimes there are more important things in life than a good pair of tits.Porthos: Aramis, if you can name me one thing - one single thing - that's more sublime than a plump, pink nipple between my lips, I'll build you a new cathedral.Aramis: Forgiveness.Porthos: Forgiveness?(Beat)Porthos: Forgive me! Forgive me.
Athos: What is Porthos doing?
- When he goes to the brothel to get his clothes done for the ball, he shoves a gun up a belligerent patron's ass and threatens to pull the trigger.
- When he goes out to hang himself:
- Louis' scenes with Pierre, his chief adviser.
Louis: But Paris is the most beautiful city in the world. Why should my people feel anything but pride and contentment?Pierre: Of course, your majesty, I'm sure they are content. And proud. But they are also starving.Louis: Now, about these riots. We have stocks right now on the wharf, don't we? Distribute that.Pierre: But Majesty, that food is spoiling. That is why it was not sent to the army.Louis: Then you must hurry.Pierre: What...an excellent idea, Your Majesty.
Louis: You're the new chief adviser. Execute him for distributing rotten food. And the next time there are rioters - shoot them.(Pierre and the new adviser stand there in Stunned Silence, before the new adviser lamely tries to console Pierre)
- After Louis has a conversation with D'Artagnan: