Funny: The Man in the Iron Mask

  • Nearly any scene involving Porthos.
    Porthos: I just said you're praying. Are you deaf too? I know you're blind, because if you'd seen the tits that just walked out of here, you'd have tears in your eyes.
    Aramis: Sometimes there are more important things in life than a good pair of tits.
    Porthos: Aramis, if you can name me one thing - one single thing - that's more sublime than a plump, pink nipple between my lips, I'll build you a new cathedral.
    Aramis: Forgiveness.
    Porthos: Forgiveness?
    Porthos: Forgive me! Forgive me.
    Athos: What is Porthos doing?
  • Louis' scenes with Pierre, his chief adviser.
    Louis: But Paris is the most beautiful city in the world. Why should my people feel anything but pride and contentment?
    Pierre: Of course, your majesty, I'm sure they are content. And proud. But they are also starving.
    Louis: Now, about these riots. We have stocks right now on the wharf, don't we? Distribute that.
    Pierre: But Majesty, that food is spoiling. That is why it was not sent to the army.
    Pierre: excellent idea, Your Majesty.
    • After Louis has a conversation with D'Artagnan:
    Louis: You're the new chief adviser. Execute him for distributing rotten food. And the next time there are rioters - shoot them.
    (Pierre and the new adviser stand there in Stunned Silence, before the new adviser lamely tries to console Pierre)