The Legend of Zelda CD-i Games has just so much Narm through its bad writing and complete nonsense that it’s hard to take them seriously.
- The tutorial in The Faces of Evil.Link: When I'm crouching, you can make me do the duck walk. COOL, HUH?
Link: "My sword won't hurt anyone friendly. In fact, it makes THEM TALK!" - The opening cutscene of Link: The Faces of Evil.Link: Gee, it sure is BORing around here!
King Harkinian: Mah boi, this peace is what all true warriors strive FOR!
Link: I just wonder what GANON'S up to!- Bonus points for Link's doofy-looking spinning eyes in this scene when he stretches his arms.
- Gwonam, the Koridian wizard who gets the plot going and carries Link around the world map, is a source of these moments as well.
- His scroll, which only seems to read "Only Link can defeat Ganon" just as he says.
- "Squadallah! We're off!"
- The shopkeeper Morshu: "Lamp oil? Rope? BOMBS?? You want it? It's yours, my friend, as long as you have enough rubies."
- "Sorry, Link. I can't give credit! Come back when you're a little, MMMMM, richer!"
- The Crater Cove fisherman (named Anutu in the German manual) who gives Link the Power Sword just for pointing out the massive crab he caught is a Gohma.Anutu: "You're pretty good, here!"
- Also in Crater Cove, the unnamed woman butchering a fish who explains how she kept Fire Dairas locked away from the houses, if only because it's incredibly difficult to figure out what the hell she's saying.
- At Nortinka, there is a woman (Hamsha in the German manual) whose mobility relies entirely on some fountain which Ganon froze, rendering her frozen for most of the time. While there is some slight tragedy to how you can't permanently unfreeze her, the cutscene where you thaw her briefly is pretty amusing.Hamsha: "Here, have some Water of Life"
(repetitive stock gulping sounds play)
Hamsha: "My, you're thirsty...OH MY GOODNESS!!" (she freezes again) - Alora, the Abhorrent Admirer at Toyku Lighthouse.Alora: (walking towards Link seductively) "You're not afraid of dragons, are you?"
Link: (gulps) "O-of course not!"
Alora: "Then get my necklace back from Gleeok, okay? Pretty please?"
(She taps his nose, causing him to grimace)- When Link returns with her necklace, she gives him a wet kiss before mentioning her husband's transformation into an Abominom, fondling her breast as she does so.
- Ganon's first appearance in the game has him kidnapping Zelda from her bed somehow, rhyming as he does so.Ganon: "In the DARKEST nightmare hour,
when not moon or sun has risen,
I take Zelda in my power;
I shall keep her in my prison!" - In both Faces of Evil and Wand of Gamelon you get a glove upgrade. What is it, you might ask? The Power Glove. Yes, countless jokes have been made about this.
- Although the first cutscene featuring Suprena is Actually Pretty Competent by CD-i standards, the second one isn't safe from silliness.Suprena: "This shield both sword and spear deflects,
but cannot stop the vilest curse.
This crystal makes the shield reflect,
cursing the curser with twice the curse!" - The first boss, Goronu the necromancer, would be pretty scary if not for some lines of his."WAKE UP, SLEEPY-BONES!"
- After threatening to freeze Link for a year until the latter begs to join him, Goronu lets out a guffaw as his neck stretches out oddly.
- There's also his ambush attempt on Link where he disguises himself as Zelda before transforming back to his old self. As Dan Avidan put it...
Dan (as Goronu): "Now I wear the belly shirt!!"
- After threatening to freeze Link for a year until the latter begs to join him, Goronu lets out a guffaw as his neck stretches out oddly.
- The second boss, Harlequin, can be amusing to look at, and listen to, what with his pig motif and constant snorting.
- He dies by being deflated like a balloon, which is followed up by Link's laconic reaction to his body.
Link: "GOLLY!" (picks up his deflated remains) - "He's dead. Let's get outta here!"
- This:King Harkinian: I wonder what's for DINNER.
- What makes this line especially funny is that it comes after Zelda worrying about her father's safety in Gamelon, and the King's line immediately before the famous "dinner" sentence is "Enough! My ship sails in the morning." Following that up with wondering what's for dinner is a goofy Mood Whiplash that Internet culture has mocked for so long, especially if one fails to hear the sound of what presumably is a dinner bell (which is easy as said bell is rather quiet).
- And this:
- Even better are their faces here. Zelda looks completely uninterested with the giant beast-man standing at arm's length in front of her, while Ganon stares off like he's tripping balls.
- And after you defeat Ganon, which involves wrapping him in magic chains from a wand and sucking him into a book:
- Another one:Hektan: YOU'VE KILLED ME! (dissolves into a puddle)
Zelda: Good! (Stallone smile)- One can't help but get the impression she was trying to come up with a clever joke, but gave up and said that instead.
- ...Or was already frustrated to the point that she simply didn't even care what she said and just vented.
- One can't help but get the impression she was trying to come up with a clever joke, but gave up and said that instead.
- An underrated gem:Glutko: Oh goodie! Mashed Link for the main course!
- And many, many others. Every piece of cutscene dialogue is practically a Funny Moment by itself.
- Ganon catching prisoners.
- The face Ganon makes when he says "Or else you will DIE!" Looks like he just smushed his face against the camera!
- Link's face when he uses the Book of Koridai against Ganon shows that even he is sick of this game.
- Ganon's reaction to this Link using said book is comedy gold.
- In both Faces of Evil and Wand of Gamelon, Ganon dies from a single hit from the games' respective MacGuffins. And in both cases, his sprite suffers the generic death animation.
- For some reason, for most, if not all, of the villains, their dialogue when you face them include some variant of "you will die" or "you must die", and several of them say "you dare?" It gets repetitive, but that also makes it funny for some.
- "You saved me" and "take him away" are repeated as well, but they're used only once in each game.
- His introduction scene:
Gwonam: "See how Harlequin captures Koridians?"
Random Electronic Voice: "YOU LOSE."
Harlequin: "*snorts* Do you know what it means when you lose your last rubee?! Now you work for me! *turns a Koridian into a wolfman* Take him away! *snorts*" - Omfak's introductory sequence, in which, for a few moments, his head turns into the Dairy Queen lips just to eat a bird he cooked, even though both of his other forms would have been just as useful for such a task.
- Also, in his death sequence, his head (still DQ lips) explodes, causing a flock of birds to fly out.
- When you free Mayor Cravendish, he uses his knee to scratch his nose, and has to hold his wig down as he is released.
- Defeating Militron reveals that he is really a half-naked old man with several layers of flab.
- This little gem:Impa: Oh, my! It looks like everyone's been taken to Tykogi Tower!Mayor Cravendish: This is illegal, you know.
- Everyone in the game makes strange hand movements as they speak. When it's not creepy, it's this.
- In Wand of Gamelon, Duke Onkled is eventually revealed to have been Evil All Along and was responsible for King Harkinian's imprisonment on the island of Gamelon. His penalty sentence at the end of the game? To scrub all the floors in Hyrule. Instead of, you know, locking the traitor up somewhere like a competent judge would do. This is such a goofy idea for a penalty sentence coming from a King that it ends up being unintentionally funny. It's even referenced in Shovel Knight in both Shovel of Hope and Plague of Shadows, where King Knight, who had usurped King Pridemoor before the events of the game, is seen scrubbing the floor of his throne room in the end credits.
- At the end of Wand of Gamelon, King Harkinian and Zelda are both hilariously Off-Model as they proceed to give a big laugh. Zelda appears to be holding in a sneeze while Harkinian is squinting at the viewer in a vaguely threatening manner.
