Funny / The Last Wish

  • In the short story "The Last Wish", Geralt and Dandelion find and accidentally free some kind of a demon. Geralt tries to banish the demon by saying an exorcism (in unknown language) taught to him by some priestess. The demon immediately flees, but returns later in a state of absolute fury. Turns out that the demon is a Literal Genie, and the "exorcism" is just a prank the priestess played on Geralt, which roughly translates to "go and screw yourself". The genie had to do exactly that.
  • In "The Edge of the World" Geralt and Dandelion go to see village wise woman to find out about the "Devil" that is troubling the town. She digs up an old book about monsters, quoting this gem about Witchers:
    A witchman, mumbled the woman. Called by some a witcher. To summon him is most dangerous, albeit one must; for when against the monster and the vermin there be no aid, the witchman can contrive. But careful one must be—
    Eeee... But careful one must be to touch not the witchman, for thus the mange can one acquire. And lasses do from him hide away, for lustful the witchman is above all measure—
    —though the witchman greatly covetous and greedy for gold be, mumbled the old woman, half-closing her eyes, giveth ye not such a one more than: for a drowner, one silver penny or three halves; for a werecat, silver pennies two; for a plumard, silver pennies—