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Funny: The Island
  • The conversation that went nowhere, fast.
    Bartender: Well, it's your lucky day, Captain Kirk. He's in the can.
    Lincoln: He's in a can?
    Bartender: Takin' a dump.
    Bartender: Tell you what, Bubba, you're fixing to get on my nerves. First door on the right.
    Lincoln: Thank you.
    • Then Jordan and the Bartender.
    Bartender: (to Jordan) Something to drink? Jack?
    Jordan: Yes, please.
    Bartender: Straight up? (Jordan looks up at the ceiling)
  • Don't you just looove those 'first meetings'.
    Tom Lincoln: Why is my insurance policy sitting in my fuckin' sofa?
  • A construction worker's reaction after seeing Jordan and Lincoln surviving a Michael Bay action sequence that wrecked a building:
    Worker: Jesus must love you!
  • Jordan finally figures out this "sex" thing and demonstrates it to Lincoln.
    Lincoln: Why didn't we ever do this before?
    Jordan: Shut up!

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