Only someone as awesome as Claude Rains could make this bit of dark humor funny.
Griffin: I hope your car's insured, Kemp: I'm afraid there's going to be a nasty accident in a minute... a very nasty accident.
Payback is a bitch, ain't it?
After escaping a police stake-out with a patrolman's pants (It Makes Sense in Context), Griffin puts them on and goes skipping down the street singing "Nuts in May," sending the townsfolk screaming.
Anytime Mrs. Hall screams in the film. To quote James Rolfe: You'll be so annoyed, you'll actually find yourself laughing about it!
The fact that her screaming gets annoying to the point that her own husband, who had been injured by Griffin, tells her to shut up.
The montage of the populace locking up their doors against the Invisible Man ends with one guy declaring "I'll keep him out!" while he nails his door shut.
Several times in the film a character will say something along the lines of "He could be standing in this room right now!". And every time, the other characters will look around nervously. What do they expect to see?
A visitor to the Agency demands to see the Invisible Man
Official: Eberts, get this invisible man in here at once!
Eberts: But, sir, I don't know what he looks like.
While in Quicksilver Madness Stage 5, Darien beats up a mime.
During "Diseased," Claire needs Arnaud's knowledge to cure Darien's current predicament. As Quicksilver Madness has taken effect, Claire convinces Darien not to kill Arnaud and instead take it out on his house.
"DIE, CUCKOO CLOCK! DIE!"
Early in the episode, following a chase sequence and some gun play.
Arnaud: Tag, you're dead. (Arnaud pulls the trigger and finds he's out of bullets) Darien: See, now I'm always gonna know you said that.
Darien having to use a walker after throwing his back out.
The Official at Bobby's fake funeral. "That was his term of endearment for me. 'Fat Man.' I'd like to suggest that we retire that nickname in honor of Bobby Hobbes."
In "Separation Anxiety," the Official and Eberts are watching a sappy, cliched soap opera. Both are engrossed by it, with the Official looking like he's on the verge of tears.
Man: I love you! Woman: And I love your father, and we're getting married! But before I walk down the aisle, there's something you should know - I'm pregnant and the baby is yours! Eberts: That bitch.
The soap opera is given a nod in "Johnny Apocalypse," as Eberts is watching it at his home.
"You're still a bitch."
The kid plays video games with Darien and kicks his butt. Later, the kid plays the same game with Eberts and... well, who knew Eberts was such a gamer?
From "The Devil You Know," after the raid ends in disaster, the Keeper tries to make Darien see the positives - specifically none of the FBI agents being killed in the blast.
Darien: From now on, the glass is half full. Claire: Much better. Darien: Unfortunately, it's filled with blood.
Darien: By the way, I want my tombstone to say, "Too late, he's already dead." You know, just in case more people show up wanting to screw my life over.
From the "Pilot," Darien tries to buy time with Arnaud and his thugs with a shotgun and an unusual hostage maneuver.
"NO ONE MOVE OR THE GLAND GETS IT!"
Darien: What, you never had an invisible friend? Hobbes: I had invisible enemies.
In "Germ Theory," Hobbes is reassigned to help Eberts with paper work.
Eberts: Great news, Robert. I was able to pull a few strings and managed to get you you're very own staple remover. Hobbes: That's great. You know, I'm a highly trained, decorated field agent, Eberts. I could kill a man right now with my bare hands. Eberts: But can you collate?
Eberts later says, "I love the smell of toner in the morning."
Hobbes and Eberts discuss the importance of paper work.
Hobbes: I have met three presidents. I have captured terrorists. I deserve to die in action, Eberts, not just to be filed away! Eberts: What you regard as inconsequential dental forms are in fact more, much more. Hobbes: Oh God. Eberts: They are in fact symbols, symbols of America. When all the world will little note, nor longer remember what we have done today in these hallowed halls, I tell you this with no degree of uncertainty that forms filed in triplicate are the very foundation of democracy. Why do we file, Robert, why? One word... Freedom.
In "Enemy of My Enemy," while wheeling Arnaud away to a cell, Eberts smacks him in the back of the head.
Arnaud: What did you do that for?! Eberts:Payback.
In "The Three Phases of Claire," Claire is injected with an experimental truth serum. At first, she's simply compelled to speak the truth, but it starts to affect her mind. She begins hearing imaginary voices, which concern Darien and Hobbes. When the "conversation" becomes about Hobbes, though, he gets concerned for different reasons.
Hobbes:(to Claire) What's he talkin' about? Darien:Oh my God! Hobbes: Is he talkin' about me? Darien: I don't know which one of you is more paranoid. Hobbes: What's that supposed to mean? Darien: You actually care what an invisible voice inside her head is saying about you? Hobbes: Yeah, I know about invisible voices, all right. I know all about them. And if that voice is sayin' somethin' bad about me, I got the right to know what he's sayin'! I wanna know!