* Chunk is the source of many of the film's great funny moments.
** Chunk spilling strawberry milkshake on himself after pressing the cup against the window while watching the police chase.
--->'''Chunk''': Aww, shit!
** His BlatantLies about meeting Michael Jackson.
--->'''Chunk''': Okay Brand, Music/MichaelJackson ''didn't'' come over to my house to use the bathroom. But [[Music/JanetJackson his sister]] did!
** Chunk drops the statue.
--->'''Chunk''': [[{{Irony}} I'll bet you guys thought I was gonna drop it, huh?]]
** Chunk glues the penis on the statue upside down. It's even funnier when Data completely loses it and falls off-camera laughing after Brand's line. Also, how Mikey had first said that was their mom's "favorite piece"... followed by Mouth quipping "You wouldn't be here if it wasn't."
--->'''Chunk''': Look, how's that? How's that?\\
'''Mikey''': Oh you idiot! You glued it upside-down!\\
'''Brand''': You dork! If God made us do it that way, we'd all be pissing in our faces!\\
'''Chunk''': Looks fine to me.
** And Chunk and Mouth thought Mrs. Walsh saw it.
--->'''Mrs. Walsh''': What is that?\\
'''Chunk''': Oh shit, what?
** The entire confession scene where Chunk spills his guts to the Fratellis. Jake enjoys listening to them, especially the fake puke story.
--->'''Jake:''' I'm beginning to like this kid, ma.\\
'''Ma Fratelli:''' [[MoodWhiplash HIT PURÉE!]]
** This dialogue:
--->'''Chunk:''' Pizza...\\
'''Everyone:''' Shhh.\\
'''Chunk:''' Pepperoni...\\
'''Everyone:''' SHHHHH!!
** Meeting Sloth for the first time:
--->'''Chunk:''' Come on, let me out! ''(looks back, laughing nervously)'' Hi sir, my name is Lawrence. Sometimes people call me Chunk.\\
''(Sloth turns to Chunk, revealing his deformed face)''\\
''(Chunk starts to panic)''\\
''(Chunk starts hopping around. Sloth smiles and decides to hop around too.)''\\
'''Chunk:''' ''HELP!!! LET ME OUT OF HERE!!!!''
** "''Captain'' Chunk!"
** When the Fratellis found the doubloon.
--->'''Chunk:''' I told you so. ''(they look down to see Chunk eating Jake's ice cream)'' See you guys, you never believed me. I said there was gonna be buried-- ''(Jake snatches the ice cream from him)''\\
''(Chunk still has the spoon, Jake grabs it too. Chunk starts crying.)''
* When Mr. Perkins shows up to serve the developer's papers.
-->'''Brand''': My dad's not home, Mr. Perkins.\\
'''Perkins''': Is your mommy here?\\
'''Brand''' No, actually she's out at the market buying Pampers for all us kids.
* When Mouth sticks his tongue through a picture.
--> '''Mouth''': Mikey? Mikey? Come on, help me feel like a woman. Come one, give me a nice wet lickery kiss.
* When Brand gets tied to the chair.
--> '''Brand''': I'm gonna hit you so hard when you wake up your clothes are gonna be out of style!
* When the Fratellis find the body of Chester Copperpot.
-->'''Jake:''' ''(checking the wallet)'' Looks like they picked him clean, Ma.\\
'''Mother Fratelli:''' Sure, right before they ''ate'' him.\\
'''Francis:''' Stupid.
* "I'll show you a tremor!" (slap)
* From the deleted scene of the store:
-->'''Mouth:''' It's okay, Brand. Just remember we're all here for you. ''(Mouth takes the map from Brand's pocket)'' Here's to good friends...\\
'''Mouth, Data, and Chunk:''' ♪ Tonight is kinda special! ♪\\
'''Brand:''' ''(pushes Mouth)'' Get out of here!
* When the boys arrive at the Lighthouse Restaurant, feigning being customers. They simply ask for water, but Mouth takes it over the top asking for more as the others tell him to shut up. Mama Fratelli simply grabs him around his cheeks, saying they "only serve tongue".
* When the Goonies came upon under a wishing well:
-->'''Mouth:''' ''(looking at coins)'' President Lincoln... George Washington... Uh, Creator/MartinSheen...\\
'''Stef:''' Martin Sheen?! That's President Kennedy, you idiot!\\
'''Mouth:''' Well, same difference! I mean, [[LameComeback he played Kennedy once]]!\\
'''Stef:''' Oh that's real smart! It's nice to see you're using your brain!\\
'''Mouth:''' Yeah? Well, at least I ''have'' a brain!\\
'''Stef:''' You're so stupid, Mouth!\\
'''Mouth:''' Oh yeah?\\
'''Stef:''' Yeah! ''(Mouth makes a "stupid" face at her)'' ''[[BigShutUp SHUT UP!!]]''
* After Francis falls prey to Data's "slick shoes".
-->'''Jake''': ''(flinches)'' Ooh!\\
'''Ma Fratelli''': Francis? Sweetheart, are you okay??\\
'''Francis''': ''(high-pitched whimper)'' ...''[[AC:no]]''.
* The scene where Mouth is forced to remove some of the treasure from his person.
-->'''Ma Fratelli:''' You're so quiet all of a sudden. You're the one they called Mouth, right?\\
'''Mouth:''' ''(shakes his head)'' Mm-mmm!\\
''(She sticks her fingers into his mouth and pulls out a pearl necklace)''\\
'''Ma Fratelli:''' Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha... ''(still pulling)'' Oh my god. ''(finally got it all out)'' Is that all?\\
'''Mouth:''' Mm-hmm.\\
''(She hits the back of his head, making him spit out all the coins.)''\\
'''Ma Fratelli:''' Oh. My. ''God.''\\
''(Mouth spits out one last coin)''
-->'''Jake:''' Remember, we were gonna get your teeth fixed, but we spent the money on Francis' toupee--\\
'''Francis:''' ''[[BelievingTheirOwnLies I DON'T WEAR A HAIRPIECE!!]]''
* Mikey tries to tell everyone what he saw (Sloth).
-->'''Mikey:''' I swear on my life! They've got it... an 'IT!' A giant 'IT!' They got it chained to the wall! When it came into the light it was all gross and distorted, and, and the parts were mixed around!\\
''(Data, Chunk, and Mouth were disgusted, while Brand rolls his eyes)''\\
'''Brand:''' Yeah, kinda like your brain, right lame-o? Say goodbye to your little pals.
* Mrs. Walsh asks Mouth, who can speak Spanish, to translate her instructions to Rosalita, who doesn't know any English. Mouth takes this opportunity to [[TrollingTranslator "translate"]] for Mrs. Walsh.
-->'''Mrs. Walsh:''' Pants and shirts are in the second. Just throw them all into cardboard boxes. Forget the suitcases. Clark, can you translate all of that?\\
'''Mouth:''' Why certainly, Mrs. Walsh.\\
'''Mrs. Walsh:''' That's wonderful.\\
'''Mouth:''' ''[to Rosalita, in Spanish]'' The marijuana goes in the top drawer. The cocaine and speed in the second. The heroin in the bottom. Always separate the drugs.\\
'''Rosalita:''' ''[Stares after him with a bewildered look on her face]''\\
'''Mrs. Walsh:''' Now Rosalita, this is the attic. Mr. Walsh doesn't like anybody up here, ever. That's why it's always open.\\
'''Mouth:''' ''[in Spanish]'' Never go up there. It's filled with Mr. Walsh's sexual torture devices.\\
'''Rosalita:''' ''[Stares at the open attic door until Mouth touches her shoulder, startling her]''\\
'''Mrs. Walsh:''' This is my supply closet. You'll find everything you need: brooms, dustpans, insect spray. I would really like the house clean when they tear it down. Clark, can you translate?\\\
'''Mouth:''' ''[in Spanish]'' If you do a bad job you'll be locked in here with the cockroaches, for two weeks without food and water.\\
'''Mrs. Walsh:''' Okay, Rosie? Okay? You're going to be very happy here. Come on, Clark, we've got much more to do. You're so fluent in languages!\\
'''Rosalita:''' ''[in Spanish while looking around, frightened]'' My God, I'm in a crazy house!
* Andy in hysterics just before the gang finds Chester Copperpot's corpse. Her actress mentioned in the cast commentary that her schoolmates heckled her for ''years'' about it.
--> "I should've let him look at my body! Don't I have a beautiful body? Don't I have a beautiful body!?"
* FoeYay at its finest:
-->'''Stef''': You know your voice is kind of nice when your mouth isn't screwing it up.\\
'''Mouth''': Yeah, and your looks are kind of pretty, when your face isn't screwing it up.
* Brand is about to move aside a boulder in the tunnel.
-->'''Stef''': Brand, God put that rock there for a purpose... and, um... I'm not so sure you should, um... move it...
* The cast commentary is full of hilarious moments.
** Jeff Cohen and Martha Plimpton both like engaging in SelfDeprecation, pointing out the cornier scenes or instances of SpecialEffectFailure.
** Kerri Green admits that she got teased often for Andy's hysterical cries of "Don't I have a beautiful body!?".
** Josh Brolin mentions that "reading a [Constantin] Stanislavski book" was involved in the mental debate over [[SeriousBusiness whether Brand should retain wearing a headband as a trait of his character]].
** Sean Astin's runaway success since ''Lord of the Rings'' is frequently poked at.
** During the scene where Andy accidentally kisses Mikey and Stef wanders in, this hilarious exchange ensues.
-->'''Richard Donner:''' Oh, look at Stef here. "Heh heh! That's right, kiss him!"
-->'''Martha Plimpton:''' *''seductively''* [[ThePeepingTom I like to watch.]]
** It's pointed out how odd it was that they had Stef lose her glasses, and not [[BlindWithoutEm take full advantage of the trope for comedic purposes.]] Martha Plimpton shrugs it off to her simply being a bad actress.