Funny: The Frighteners

  • The hot ghost-on-mummy action scene:
    Judge: I like it when they lie still like that!
  • Cyrus' rant to Frank after the latter threatens to send him and Stuart back to the cemetery:
    Cyrus: Well, you can pull this, Frank! I'm about to go like Jesse on yo' ass! I'mma find me some other black ghosts, and then organize a march! The African-American Apparition Coalition—the A double-A C. And let me tell you somethin', Frank—there ain't nothing worse than a bunch of ticked-off brothers that's already dead!
  • Cyrus' rant about Frank's car:
    Cyrus: Man, I hate that trunk!
    Frank: I don't want you guys spreading your ectoplasmic muck all over the car seat.
    Cyrus: Well, ain't that a bitch? The ectoplasm's the only thing sticky enough to hold the damn car together! Look, Frank, I'm sorry 'bout your pus-yellow, piece-of-shit Volvo, but we ain't riding in the damn trunk no more, you understand? We would like to cruise with some style, man!
  • In the director's cut, Cyrus tells Stuart he's not being assertive enough with Frank and gives an excellent example of how he should approach their friend/employer:
    Cyrus: You just gotta go up to him, look him in the eye, and say "Hey, Frank...GIMME WHAT I WANT OR I'MMA BUST YO ASS!"
  • "Ah, the ol' express bus to Hell—no lines, no waitin'!"
  • Agent Milton Dammers has...issues:
    Dammers: (to Sheriff Perry) You are invading my territorial bubble!
  • A behind-the-scenes one: Apparently, any time Michael J. Fox tried to say "Judge!", he said "Doc!" instead.
    Michael J. Fox: Doc! "Doc?" I did it again! Wrong fucking movie...
  • In the director's cut, Frank is in the shower when Cyrus' head appears out of the drain so he can talk to Frank. Frank eventually tells Cyrus he has to pee and he's not getting out the shower. Cyrus promptly vanishes down the drain.
  • Also from the director's cut: Frank is accosted by The Grim Reaper (not Bartlett) and scared out of his mind. Then, The Grim Reaper turns out to be...Stuart and Cyrus in disguise. Frank is far from amused, angrily tells the two to never pull that stunt again, and stalks off. When Stuart then enthusiastically suggests trying a white sheet next time, Cyrus rolls his eyes upward at him and delivers this gem:
    Cyrus: Nuh-uh. Ain't gonna be no white sheet, brah.
  • Frank running over Ray's garden gnome while backing his car out of the Lynskeys' lawn, and Ray's damn near distraught over the loss of his garden gnome.
    Ray: Oh! Budzo! My Budzo! My Budzo! (yelling after Frank as he drives off) I got your license plate number, YOU BASTARD!!!
  • During Stuart and Cyrus' haunting of the Lynskey household, one of the ghosts causes a Raggedly Ann doll to tug at Lucy. Lucy just screams, but Ray screams, jumps up, grabs a pillow, and starts hitting the doll as it backs away and eventually stops.
    • While kitchen tools are floating through the air, Ray gets conked in the head by a pan (or something) immediately after mentioning "It's nothing that the police can't handle!"