Funny / The Fisher King

  • Jack dealing with a Keet customer (played by Kathy Najimby):
    Customer: What I'm in the mood for is sort of a Katherine-Hepburny, Cary-Granty kinda thing. Nothing heavy; I couldn't take heavy. Something zany! I'm looking for something zany... or something modern would be fine, too, like a Goldy-Hawny, Chevy-Chasey kinda thing - you know, funny! I want to laugh. I have to laugh tonight, really. Oh, do you have anything with that comedian, he's on that show that's on the radio? You know, the guy who says, "Hey, forgive me!" I get such a kick out of the way he says that! He's so goddamn adorable! That would be perfect! Didn't he make a movie?
    (Jack tosses her a porno)
    Customer: Ordinary Peepholes?
    Jack: It's a big-titty, spread-cheeky kinda thing.
  • The transvestite's dance for Lydia. Lydia's startled reaction and Jeter's delivery of the line, "You must be she." really sell it.
    Jack: I can't believe I'm on a first name basis with these people.
  • Jeter steals a lot of scenes in this movie. The Central Park equestrian trail is one of them.
    Jeter (hysterical): No! I want a debutante on a horse to step on me!
    • And immediately afterwards, when Jack and Parry take him to the emergency room:
    Jeter (still hysterical): No, please! I don't want to be here; I was born in a place like this! ...I want to go. Please let me go.
    Jack: Where do you want to go?
    Jeter: A nice place that I know about.
    Jack: We can go there later.
    Jeter (horrified): We can't go there tonight.
    Jack: Maybe we can. Where do you want to go?
    Jeter: Venice.
  • Parry rescuing Jack from the teens is both this and a Crowning Moment of Awesome. Parry shoots one of them in the nuts with a plunger for starters and proceeds to insult them before calling in his crew of hobos to frighten them off.
  • After rescuing Jack, Parry brings him to a den full of hobo's. The hammy way Parry and John the hobo address each other is priceless, as they both start randomly screaming and then stop to calmly greet each other.
    John: How are you tonight?
    Parry: Not bad John. And you?
    John: Can't complain.
    • Immediately after that, Jack's arm catches on fire from the bonfire they were sitting at, and he begins frantically waving it around and screaming until he finally puts it out and collapses. Parry and the other hobos just stare and begin applauding.
  • Tom Waits' cameo as the disabled war veteran Jack chats to in Central Station.
    Veteran: See, I'm what you call kind of a moral traffic light, really. I'm like saying, "Red. Go no furthur." Bwooi! Bwooi! Bwoooi!
  • The Central Park scene. Parry decides to go au naturale, trying to convince Jack to do the same. Then he starts dancing:
    Parry: Free up the little guy! Let him flap in the breeze!
    • Then Jack's rant to Parry before that:
      Jack: I'm talking to the little people!
      Parry: Are they here?
      Jack: They're saying "Jack, go to the nearest liquor store, findeth the Jack of Daniels, that ye may be shit-faced!" Doolang! Doolang!
      Parry: They said that?
      Jack: You are out of your fucking mind!
      Parry: Bingo!
    • The next part shows Jack lying down with Parry, still naked, in the grass watching the night sky, during which Jack says this:
      Jack: What if some homophobic jogger runs by and kills us to get back at his father? "Jack Lucas, found dead next to a dead, naked man. The two were dead and his companion was naked." I hate it when they use the word "companion." It's so insinuating. Probably boost the sales of my biography. The public has a fascination with celebrity murders involving nakedness.
  • The dinner scene at the Chinese Restaurant.