- This great line from the Pilot:
Leo: I do not appreciate the ocean. *beat* I tend to sink.
- Cartel enforcer hears someone clearing his throat behind him, turns around, sees a smiling Leo and gets hit by a truck.
- "Two Eggs. Toasts...Bacon."
- Walter arguing that the designated hitter rule is more un-American than al Qaeda. Leo's response to it as well:
Leo: You can't get more un-American than actually trying to destroy America.
- Walter trying to knock down a satellite dish with a baseball:
Walter: You have to become both the projectile and the target. (throws the ball, only for it to miss completely.)
Leo: Maybe you forgot to become the projectile.
- Add one Alien Conspiracy theorist to one Industrial/Military Complex Conspiracy theorist = Hilarity Ensues
- Johnny, about Walter: "Why is it that when you randomly show up, other people go to jail?"
- "Great work, Human Internet. I'll be back when i need y'all to search for some porn."
- Small one but in "Eye of the Storm", the Finder has trouble (and needs help to) find... the images tab on a web page.
- Walter gets tasered and his Sherlock Scan notices one woman and two full laundry baskets. He asks how she carried them both. She replies "There's only one basket." He covers one eye, and sure enough there is only one basket. "It's a really good taser."
- Willa's response to Walter trying to speak Spanish to a mobster:
Willa: He's gonna kill you just so you'll stop murdering his language.
- Willa on a caffeine high was extremely entertaining.
- "The Inheritance": A short guy with a temper fights Leo, who is huge. Literally nobody involved takes him seriously.
- Guy: Defend yourself!
Leo: Against what?