Funny: The Fifth Element

  • "Sir! We have a survivor!" "Where is he?" (cut to armored glove with charred forearm bones)
  • The entire ZF-1 sequence, and all the crap that happens just before and during the space plane's takeoff.
  • "GIMME THE CASSSH!!!"
  • "Sir, are you classified as human?" "Uh, negative, I am a meat popsicle."
  • Korben to Leeloo, after tearing away from a cop car:
    Korben: We're lucky. If they don't chase you after a mile, they don't chase you.
    [Four cop cars come after them]
    Korben: Maybe it's two miles ...
  • The Diva's epic dance moves.
  • The scene where we learn the box was a decoy, excellently intercut between Zorg and the Mangalores in one location and Leeloo and Cornelius in another.
    Zorg: This case is empty.
    [Leeloo laughs derisively]
    Cornelius: What do you mean, empty?
    Zorg: Empty. The opposite of full. THIS CASE IS SUPPOSED TO BE FULL! [long, awkward pause] Anyone care to explain?
    Leeloo: [sustained rambling in the Divine Language, occasionally gesturing]
    Cornelius: The guardians ... gave the stones ... to someone they could trust ...? Who ... who took another route ...? She's supposed to contact this person ... in a hotel ... and she's looking for the address. Easy.
    Leeloo: [points to the computer screen as it rapidly zooms in] That.
    David: It-it's planet Fhloston, in the Angel Constellation!
    Cornelius: [relieved] We are saved.
    Zorg: [exasperated] I am screwed.
    Aknot: You asked for a case. We brought you a case
    Zorg: A CASE WITH FOUR STONES IN IT! NOT ONE OR TWO OR THREE BUT FOUR — FOUR STONES! What the Hell am I supposed to do with an empty case?!
    Aknot: [completely deadpan] We're warriors, not merchants.
    Zorg: BUT YOU CAN STILL COUNT! It's easy; look at my fingers! Four stones — [Aknot tries to look away but gets slapped] — four cratesnote . ZERO STONES, ZERO CRATES!!! PACK EVERYTHING UP! WE'RE OUTTA HERE!
    [Aknot, enraged, roars; the Mangalores all point their guns at Zorg]
    Aknot: We risked our lives! I believe a little compensation is in order! [other Mangalores rumble in agreement]
    Zorg: Well ... guess you boys are merchants after all. [beat] Leave the one crate. For the cause.
  • Korben's bet with the merchant on the contents of his latest mail, but the guy's delivery(and the cat) sells it:
    Merchant: [excitedly] You are fired! [frowns]
    Cat: Meow!
    Korben: Well, at least I won lunch.
  • Leeloodallasmultipass.
    • And by extension, "MOOOOOOOOOOOOLTIIIIIIIIIIIPAAAAAASSSSSSS!"
      Korben: YES, HONEY, SHE KNOWS IT'S A MULTIPASS! Anyways, we're in love.
    • The entire scene at the airport check-in.
      Checkin Attendant: Mr. Dallas?
      David: [extremely nervous] Uh ... yeah?
      Check-in Attendant: Congratulations on winning the contest!
      David: [breathes a sigh of relief] Oh right, okay.
      Attendant: Sorry for the mess.
      David: The mess?
      Attendant: [points to the giant trash piles] The garbage.
      Leeloo: [as Korben walks up and David stutters] Ah, jaja hamas!
      Korben: Phew, made it! I was so afraid I wasn't going to make this flight, so I sent, uh, [picks up multipass] David, here, to come and pick up my boarding pass, but now David has to go! Thank you, bye! [tosses David aside] I am Korben Dallas.
    • The scene gets better from there: After Korben cuts off David, tries to quiet Leeloo ("She knows it's a multipass!"), and takes his rightful spot in the hotel, a pair of Mangalores also try to forge their way in as Korben and his wife; a silent alarm is triggered as they're tagged as hostile aliens (it doesn't help that the one trying to pass as Korben has trouble keeping his real form hidden) and causes a firefight with police inside the station. Then after that, Right Arm tries to bluff his way in as Korben as well and the clerk has had enough of this crap:
      Attendant: [skeptical] Dallas? Korben Dallas?
      Right Arm: That's me!
      Attendant: Look, I only have one Korben Dallas on my list and he's already checked in.
      Right Arm: That's impossible! I am Korben Dallas!
      Attendant: Sorry, boarding has finished! [booth closes and she goes down a chute]
      Right Arm: I need to talk to someone! I don't believe this! [bangs on the window in frustration and activates the security turrets]
      Automated voice: This is not an exercise! This is police control!
      Right Arm: [puts hands up] Sorry, sorry!
    • Then Right Arm has to explain himself to Zorg that he's not on the ship, which puts Zorg in a state of disbelief ("Are you making fun of me?"), causing him to blow up Right Arm; this scene is intercut with Ruby getting in the pants of a stewardess, Cornelius sneaking onto the ship, and liftoff. It's a big giant ball of insanity and hilarity.
  • There's also the scene where Korben Dallas headshots the Mangalore leader in the guise of negotiating. One gets the sense that this is something General Munro is known for.
    Korben: Anyone else want to negotiate?
    First Mate: Where'd he learn to negotiate like that?
    President Lindberg: [staring at the General] I wonder.
    [General Munro fidgets and looks away shyly]
  • Ruby shoves his microphone in Korben's face and ends up smacking the flight attendant behind him in the side of the head.
  • The amazing moment when Ruby finds the bomb in the hotel.
    Cornelius: [stares at the bomb with an Oh Crap! face, turns to Ruby] It'saitsaitsaitsa—
    [alarm goes off]
    Ruby: [staring at the bomb] K-Korben, m'man, y-you know how to stop this, right?
    [Korben stares wordlessly at the bomb, then looks at Ruby]
    [Cut to all four of them running for their lives to find the escape pods.]
  • "Lady, I only speak two languages — English and Bad English!"
    • Keep in mind, this was in the midst of Willis' action film career, primarily riding on the Die Hard series.
  • Korben's "wake up" slap that he gives to Father Cornelius after he passes out.
  • It's really brief, but look at Korben's face right when Father Cornelius whacks him on the head with the medal so that he can steal his tickets to the cruise. I promise, you will hurt yourself laughing.
  • At long last, after Leeloo saves the world, David yells "YEAH!" and scares the shit out of Ruby, prompting his very dramatic exit.
    Ruby: WHAT'S WRONG WIF YOU?! Whatchoo screamin' for?! Every five seconds there's a bomb or somethin'! I'm leaving. BZZZT! [flourish, storms off]
  • The Oh Crap! look on the scientist's face when he realizes Korben and Leeloo are making out (and possibly in mid-coitus, we can't see below their shoulders ... although the "give them 5 minutes" strongly implies it ...), right when the President wants to talk to them on LIVE TELEVISION.
  • The President's attempt to speak with Korben's mother. He is instantly horrified and confused and passes the phone off to someone else to take care of. Meanwhile, Korben's mother continues ranting until the scene switches to Korben and Leeloo.
  • Ruby is holding a gun to the head of a Mangalore as Korben gathers up the stones. Korben accidentally spooks him and the gun goes off. Then we get this gem:
    Ruby: [patting the Mangalore's bloody head] Sorry, sorry! Think he's gonna be okay?!
  • Korben's Big Damn Heroes moment when he saves Ruby by shooting a man-sized hole in the floor above him, which causes Ruby to fall down to his level ... screaming like a girl, of course.
  • Korben's complete and utter refusal to play along with Ruby's silly radio antics, giving him one word answers to his questions each time.
    Ruby: BOP IT, D-MAAAAAAANNN!
    [shoves the microphone cane into Korben's face as his entourage crowds around him, waiting for Korben to speak]
    Korben: Umm ... hi.
    • What makes this possibly even funnier is how Ruby lampshades this before the opera starts:
      Ruby: And now it's time for Corbie's word of the day! [gets uncomfortably close to Korben] So tell me, ma man! You happy ... in the big world?
      Korben: Thrilled. [frustrated expression from Ruby]
  • Korben steals a kiss while Leeloo's unconscious. Leeloo responds by putting a gun to his head.
    Korben Dallas: What does "ecto gammett" mean?
    Father Cornelius: Uhm ... "never without my permission."
    Korben Dallas: [beat] Thought so.
  • Zorg deactivates the bomb he placed on the Fhloston Paradise ship with five seconds to go ... just in time for the Mangalores to set up their own bomb, set to five seconds. For the honor.
    Zorg: Oh no.
  • Zorg finally gets his hands on the box, opens it and gives an Evil Laugh, then breaks down in tears.
    Zorg: They're not here! [bites hand]
  • The music that plays during funny scenes.
  • A Funny Background Event for your enjoyment — when Leeloo is holding the gun on Korben after he wakes her up, right after he asks for the gun back, watch Bruce Willis' face and you'll see him whisper, "Call me!" to Leeloo before Cornelius rushes him out the door.
  • When General Munro cheerfully informs Korben that he's won the Fhloston Paradise contest.
    Munro: [grinning shamelessly] Uh-huh. Congratulations!
    • Then right after when Korben stuffs Munro and his aides into the fridge.
      Munro: Who is it? Who is it?
      Korben: Uh ... my wife!
      Munro: You're remarried?
      Korben: Yes! No! I just met this girl, I'm gonna marry her, I love her, but she hates the military! She knows the military ruined my last marriage and she can't have anything to do with it! If she sees you guys here, she's gonna kill me! [Munro and his aides look at each other] Trust me, you just gotta hide somewhere! You gotta help me! You just gotta hide somewhere!
      Munro: We'd love to help, but I mean, there's only one door. Where can we hide? [staring in disbelief as Korben knocks down the fridge shelves] Major, we don't have time for this.
      Korben: It's just for one minute! [sends Munro's captain and Major Iceborg into the fridge] Thank you so much, you have no idea how much you're helping me! [stuffs Munro in] You have no idea! I'm gonna be happily married ...
      Munro: Major! MAJOR! The three of us won't fit in here!
      Korben: Sure you will!
      [Korben strains to stuff them in, then closes the door and sends the fridge down]
      Munro: MAJOR! Ow, ow, my foot! MAJOR! MAJOR!
    • Then at the end of the scene, after Cornelius hits him with the Medal of Honor and steals the tickets, Korben opens the fridge, where Munro and his aides are frozen. He says "I'll take the mission," takes the briefing paper, and closes the door again.
  • Korben complaining about how he got mugged to his mother, when you remember how said mugging actually went down.
  • All scenes with the cab computer.
    Cab: You've just had an accident.
    Korben: [desperately trying to avoid oncoming traffic] YES! I know I just had an accident, you daffy bastard!
  • The two cops getting their lunch from McDonald's.
    Cop: I'm too old, too tired, and too hungry to go chasing some hot rod. [interrupts his colleague who's flirting with the drive-thru attendant] And I'm definitely too thirsty.
    Korben: LOOK OUT!!! [sideswipes the cop car, causing him to spill his drinks and knocking over their Big Macs]
    Cop: [after a moment] ... whoa.
    • And then they're the lead pursuit car because Korben ruined their lunch! And eventually they crash into a truck filled with discarded McDonald's meals.

Previous

Index

Next