Funny / The Fast and the Furious

The Fast and the Furious

  • Brian saves Dominic from being arrested by the cops and explains why.
    Brian: I thought if I got in your good graces, you might let me keep my car.
    Dom: (With a grin) You are in my good graces, but you ain't keeping your car.
  • Vince's attempts to woo Mia when it's clear she's interested in Brian. First he tells Brian to wash his car and wear a nice dress and that he'll put him on the street (As a hooker) and in response, Mia asks Vince about that resturant he wanted to take her and upon finding out everything she needs to know, she tells Brian to take her there and Vince storms out of the house.
  • Brian brings the Supra to Dom's garage for the first time.
    Dom: What the hell is this?
    Brian: This is your car.
    Dom: I said a ten-second car, not a ten-minute car.
    Jesse: You could push this across the finish line, or maybe tow it...
  • The Big "NO!" Edwin (Ja Rule) gives out when Brian passes him during the first race, and being dissed by his girlfriend after it.
  • After Dom crashes the Charger:

2 Fast 2 Furious

  • Brian and Bilkins go to Barstow to meet Rome to convince him to join up for the mission. Rome's first response to finding out that Brian's not a cop anymore is to right hook him. Bilkins' first response is to sit down on a lawnchair and eat some popcorn until they're done.
  • When Brian and Rome confront Markham over nearly blowing their cover at the shipping yard, after it's all over, Rome steals his food.
    Markam: Hey! That's mine!
    Rome: So?
  • Suki's quote when she jumps the bridge.
  • Roman lighting the windscreen of Verone's cronies on fire so they can't follow them and blow their cover.
  • Roman mocking the two drivers with the Camaro and Challenger, after beating them in a pink-slip race.
    Roman: Use them bus tokens, patna!
  • During the scramble scene, the cops are following the cars they gave to Brian and Rome. (Which have been wired with GPS). Unknown to them, Brian and Rome swapped cars with Tej and Suki during the scramble, so the cops send a helicopter and a whole army of squad cars after the cars they think Brian and Rome are in. Tej's reaction upon getting out of the car and seeing this is absolutely priceless:
    Tej: Whoa, fellas, fellas. I know my tags are out of date, but damn!
  • Roman getting rid of Roberto.

The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift

  • The opening race scene, in which Sean hits a portable toilet and a piece of poop splatters on the camera.
    • During the slow-motion crash scene, we get to see all sorts of debris getting flung around in Sean's car, including a prominently featured bottle of Tabasco sauce.
    • The scene in the police station after the race, when he gives the Jerk Jock's girlfriend a bloody smile, and when the cop plays back video footage of the race.
    Sean: Can I get a copy of that?
  • Sean mockingly calls DK "Asian Justin Timberlake" on their first encounter.
  • Sean getting thrown out of the onsen - twice.
  • A deleted scene in which Earl (one of Han's buddies) gets tied to the top of Twinkie's car during a drift session.
  • The brief line in which Sean misinterprets the DK acronym for Donkey Kong, instead of Drift King.

Fast and Furious

Fast Five

  • Rome trying to get into the evidence locker in the Rio police station.
  • When Rome and Tej meet up in Rio:
    Tej: Aw, hell no. They really went and scraped the bottom of the barrel here, didn't they?
    Rome: Guess they did, considering your ass is here. When are you gonna give Martin Luther King his car back?
    Tej: As soon as you give Rick James his jacket back.
  • The entire remote control car scene.
    Tej: Beauty as in she’s gonna start off playing hard to get...and no matter how much I caress her, no matter how much I love the end, she still ain't gonna give up that ass.
    • Another Tej moment:
    Tej: So did he just like slap that ass, or did he grab and hold onto it?
  • Rome losing the quarter mile race, despite cheating.
  • The bathroom exploding on the cop that was confrontational with Roman earlier.
  • When Hobbs goes to arrest Brian and Dom for the first time:
    Hobbs: Toretto! You're under arrest.
    Dom: Arrest? I don't feel like I'm under arrest. How about you, Brian?
    Brian: No, not a bit. Not even a little bit.
    Hobbs: Oh, just give it a minute. It'll sink in.

Fast and Furious 6

  • A lot of the banter between Tej and Roman.
    • When they talk about how Shaw's gang are "evil twins" of the team
    • The Running Gag of Roman's large forehead
    • This exchange:
    Roman: Where the hell does this dude think he's going? We're on an army base, he's trapped!
    *cue giant cargo plane descending overhead*
    Tej: Wow, you just had to open your mouth. Now we've got this big-ass plane to deal with!
    Roman: That's not a plane, that's a planet!
    • More Roman ball-breaking from Tej:
    "You gotta work on your emotion, man. Your voice went from Shaggy to Scooby-Doo. THIS IS NOT WHAT WE ROO-ROO-ROOOOO!"
    • Both of them take a few shots on Hobbs when they learn they'll be working with him.
    Tej: So we working for The Hulk now? *goofily flexes his arms out in front of him*
    Roman: (as Hobbs walks in) Why do I smell baby oil?
    Hobbs: You keep running your mouth, you're gonna smell an ass-whoopin'.
    • ...which also becomes a call-back in the epilogue:
    Roman: (To Mia, as Hobbs and Elena walk in) Hey Mia! You better hide that baby oil! (laughs)
    Hobbs: You better hide that big ass forehead.
    (Cue Spit Take from Tej.)
  • Roman, in true grade school fashion, teasing Han about Gisele for over a minute, only for Han to shut him down in two seconds by using Roman's own words to insinuate that Roman is overcompensating because all his girlfriends have a lot of bling. Kind of a retroactive Tear Jerker given how things turn out for them.
  • Again, when Roman talks about Shaw's crew.
    Roman: I'm sittin' here lookin' at these images, it's like we're huntin' our evil twins! Well look at this black dude right here he's handsome, clearly that's me! We got a white Hobbs, this is Han. Tej... an African in a beanie, that's like your Mini-Me man! (laughs) Yo Brian! (Brian turns to look at Roman) When did you do this photo shoot? (Brian laughs and flips off Roman) I'm just playin' man. I know you're the prettiest blonde around here, ha.
  • Hobbs's No-Holds-Barred Beatdown of one of Shaw's men in the interrogation room, doubles as a CMOA
  • When Hobbs calls Tej's phone, it comes up as "SAMOAN THOR". Doubles as an in-joke, since there's no evidence of Hobbs the character being Samoan aside from who plays him.
  • After Shaw's martial-arts enforcer kicks the crap out of Han and Roman and escapes, the two stagger to their feet, with Roman declaring, "No one needs to know about this. No one." Han agrees.
    • During the fight, the two are getting their butts kicked. Roman gets thrown into Han and they struggle to right themselves.
    Han: You go.
    Roman: No, you go!
  • While Hobbs is briefing the team, Roman gets sidetracked by a vending machine, but is confused by British money:
    Roman: Hey, uh, which one of these is, like, a dollar?
    *Hobbs shoots out the vending machine glass, spilling its contents*
    Hobbs: It's on the house.
    *Roman picks up a candy bar out of the pile*
  • What's better than Tej and Roman treating each other like Bros? Tej and Hobbs trolling like bros. To elaborate: they go to a riverside car auction to get some cars, where a haughty English salesman shows up and instantly makes discriminatory remarks at them, mistaking both for kitchen helo. (It also did not help that the snob criticized Tej for not being a "Balla", and Hobbs for being a Military man.) As the chap left, Hobbs thought that Tej was Planning on stealing them and repeatedly refuses to let him do so. Cue the cars, a few minutes later, being delivered to their base and the salesman thanking Mr. Parker for buying the cars and asking if there's anything else he can do for them. Tej and Hobbs make him hand over his shirt, pants and watch, walking away with only his underwear (For consolation sake though, they did allow the poor fellow to keep the coat.)
  • When the tank shows up:
    Tej: (With an Oh Crap! face) Uh, guys, we gotta come up with another plan. (Beat) They got a tank.
    Roman: I'm sorry, did somebody just say a tank?
    Cue the tank driving by
    Roman: So, who's got a Plan B?
    Tej: "Plan B?" We need a Plan C, D, E; we need more alphabets!
    • During the tank chase:
      Roman: Somebody do something! I got a tank on my ass!
  • Oh and before anyone forgets, just remember the words on the airplane's tail before dealing with the group's resident Motor Mouth: IT'S ROMAN, BITCHES!
  • Hobbs heading to a control station to get camera footage in a sewer. Two of the guards are obviously on Shaw's payroll and try to turn him away when it comes to ask for it. Hobbs sees through them quite clearly but subtlety tells them that "it would be ridiculous" if that was the case. Needless to say the guards quickly get the hint.

Furious 7

  • Brian's introduction, complete with the series' staple gear shifting close-up a minivan.
  • While Dom and the rest of the crew (minus Letty) are discussing the plan to rescue Ramsey, Tej is busy playing on his smartphone. Becomes Fridge Funny when they are finally putting the plan into action, especially with the first shot of the sequence being the game that Tej was playing.
    • Roman begins complaining about how he should be the leader and come up with the plan. Dom immediately asks him on his opinion, prompting Roman to mumble how he didn't mean it right now. And as everyone else comes up with ideas, he keeps making excuses for why it wasn't him.
  • The plan to rescue Ramsey involves Dom, Brian, Letty, Tej, and Roman falling out of a jet in their cars and parachuting their way down. Roman chickens out at the last minute, and Tej activates his chute to pull him out of the jet.
    Roman: Hey man, listen. I'm sorry to let you all down, okay? I'mma go ahead and stay up here.
    Tej: No, brother. I'm sorry to let you down.
    Roman: What?
    (Tej then flips a handleld remote switch, which then pops open a parachute from Roman's Camaro.)
    Roman: What do you mean, you so-
    (Cue his car getting dragged out of the plane, as Roman frantically hits the brakes, to no avail.)
    Roman: Tej! What are you doing?!
    (Then, just as his Camaro gets finally dumped out of the aircraft and starts flailing about in mid-air...)
    Roman: TEEEEEEEJ! (still screaming while frantically kicking the brakes) I HATE YOU TEJ!!!
  • Even funnier once the crew finally touches down.
    Dom: Car check, call it in.
    Letty: Check.
    Tej: Check.
    Brian: I'm good; let's do this.
    (While they are riding down the mountain road...)
    Roman: (Still with his parachute deployed) Hello? Please, man. Get me outta here, somebody! No, the trees!
    Brian: (Looks at his side mirror) Ah, shit.
    Dom: Sit tight, Roman; we'll come back for you.
    Roman: This is not the plan!
  • Again during the rescue mission on the mountain road...
    Tej: Bulletproof baby! Can't touch this! Doodododoo...
  • The Noodle Incident involving Ramsey and her Arabian friend Safar:
    Safar: (Approaching the crew) Tried to call dibs on Ramsey, two years ago. Her knee, my balls. You don't wanna do that.
  • Kara catches Letty with the security guard she just KO'd.
    Letty: Would you believe I knocked him out with my charm?
    Kara: You're not that charming, bitch.
  • Roman distracts everyone at the party by singing a horribly butchered version of "Happy Birthday" which causes Tej to cringe at how bad it is.
  • When Mr. Nobody has been injured after Shaw's ambush, his "last words" urge Dom to try the Belgian Ale he offered him earlier in the film.
  • Speaking of Roman (again), the way he lampshades the Predator that they are getting away from during the final battle; serves as a Call Back to the last movie, too:
    Roman: First a tank, then a plane... Now a spaceship?!
  • Dom meets Hobbs' daughter. "My dad said... he kicked your ass once."
  • "Dom, Dom! Cars don't fly!"

The Fate of the Furious

  • At one point Hobbs is locked up in prison and is right across the cell of Deckard Shaw. He is not pleased at all.
    Hobbs: I will beat you like a Cherokee drum.
  • Roman Pearce, the series' Butt Monkey, is being attacked and trying to flee, and yet can't escape his attackers. Why? He's driving an orange Lamborghini, something Tej lampshades to him.
    Roman: Why are they shooting at me?
    Tej: I don't know. Maybe because you're in a orange Lamborghini.
    Roman: Shut up, Tej!