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Funny: The Fast and the Furious

The Fast and the Furious

  • Brian saves Dominic from being arrested by the cops and explains why.
    Brian: I thought if I got in your good graces, you might let me keep my car.
    Dom: (With a grin) You are in my good graces, but you ain't keeping your car.
  • Vince's attempts to woo Mia when it's clear she's interested in Brian and his tantrums when they fail.
  • Brian brings the Supra to Dom's garage for the first time:
    Dom: What the hell is this?
    Brian: This is your car.
    Dom: I said a ten-second car, not a ten-minute car.
    Jesse: You could push this across the finish line, or maybe tow it...
  • Ja Rule's character being dissed by his girlfriend after the opening race, and the Big "NO!" he gives out when Brian passes him during the race.
  • After Dom crashes the Charger:
    Dom: That's not what I had in mind.

2 Fast 2 Furious

  • Brian and Bilikins go to Barstow to meet Rome to convince him to join up for the mission. Rome's first response to finding out that Brian's not a cop anymore is to right hook him. Bilkins' first response is to sit down on a lawnchair and eat some popcorn until they're done.
  • When Brian and Rome confront Markam over nearly blowing their cover at the shipping yard,, after it's all over, Rome steals his food.
    Markam: Hey! That's mine!
    Rome: So?
  • This.
  • Roman lighting the windscreen of Verone's cronies on fire so they can't follow them and blow their cover.
  • Roman's trolling the two drivers with the American cars.
    Rome: Use them bus tokens, patna!
  • During the scramble scene, the cops are following the cars they gave to Brian and Rome. (Which have been wired with GPS). Unknown to them, Brian and Rome swapped cars with Tej and Suki during the scramble, so the cops send a helicopter and a whole army of squad cars after the cars they think Brian and Rome are in. Tej's reaction upon getting out of the car and seeing this is absolutely priceless:
    Tej: Whoa, fellas, fellas. I know my tags are out of date, but damn!

The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift

  • The opening race scene, in which Sean hits a portable toilet and a piece of poop splatters on the camera.
    • The scene in the police station after the race, when he gives the Jerk Jock's girlfriend a bloody smile, and when the cop plays back video footage of the race:
    Sean: Can I get a copy of that?
  • Sean getting thrown out of the onsen - twice.
  • A deleted scene in which Earl (one of Han's buddies) gets tied to the top of Twinkie's car during a drift session.
  • The brief line in which Sean misinterprets the DK acronym for Donkey Kong, instead of Drift King

Fast and the Furious

Fast Five

  • Rome trying to get into the evidence locker in the Rio police station.
  • When Rome and Tej meet up in Rio:
    Tej: Aw, hell no. They really went and scraped the bottom of the barrel here, didn't they?
    Rome: Guess they did, considering your ass is here. When are you gonna give Martin Luther King his car back?
    Tej: As soon as you give Rick James his jacket back.
  • The entire remote control car scene.
    Tej: Beauty as in sheís gonna start off playing hard to get...and no matter how much I caress her, no matter how much I love the end, she still ain't gonna give up that ass.
    • Another Tej moment:
    Tej: So did he just like slap that ass, or did he grab and hold onto it?
  • Rome losing the quarter mile race, despite cheating.
  • When Hobbs goes to arrest Brian and Dom for the first time:
    Hobbs: Toretto! You're under arrest.
    Dom: Arrest? I don't feel like I'm under arrest. How about you, Brian?
    Brian: No, not a bit. Not even a little bit.
    Hobbs: Oh, just give it a minute. It'll sink in.

Fast and Furious 6

  • A lot of the banter between Tej and Roman
    • When they talk about how Shaw's gang are "evil twins" of the team
    • The Running Gag of Roman's large forehead
    • This exchange:
    Roman: Where the hell does this dude think he's going? We're on an army base, he's trapped!
    *cue giant cargo plane descending overhead*
    Tej: Wow, you just had to open your mouth. Now we've got this big-ass plane to deal with!
    Roman: That's not a plane, that's a planet!
    • More Roman ball-breaking from Tej:
    "You gotta work on your emotion, man. Your voice went from Shaggy to Scooby-Doo. THIS IS NOT WHAT WE ROO-ROO-ROOOOO!"
    • Both of them take a few shots on Hobbs when they learn they'll be working with him.
    Tej: So we working for The Hulk now? *goofily flexes his arms out in front of him*
    Roman: (as Hobbs walks in) Why do I smell baby oil?
    Hobbs: You keep running your mouth, you're gonna smell an ass-whoopin'.
    • ...which also becomes a call-back in the epilogue:
    Roman: (To Mia, as Hobbs and Elena walk in) Hey Mia! You better hide that baby oil! (Laughs)
    Hobbs: You better hide that big ass forehead.
    (Cue Spit Take from Tej.)
  • Roman, in true grade school fashion, teasing Han about Gisele for over a minute, only for Han to shut him down in two seconds by using Roman's own words to insinuate that Roman is overcompensating because all his girlfriends have a lot of bling. Kind of a retroactive Tear Jerker given how things turn out for them.
  • Hobbs's No-Holds-Barred Beatdown of one of Shaw's men in the interrogation room, doubles as a CMOA
  • When Hobbs calls Tej's phone, it comes up as "SAMOAN THOR". Doubles as an in-joke, since there's no evidence of Hobbs the character being Samoan aside from who plays him.
  • After Shaw's martial-arts enforcer kicks the crap out of Han and Roman and escapes, the two stagger to their feet, with Roman declaring, "No one needs to know about this. No one." Han agrees.
    • During the fight, the two are getting their butts kicked. Roman gets thrown into Han and they struggle to right themselves.
    Han: You go.
    Roman: No, you go!
  • While Hobbs is briefing the team, Roman gets sidetracked by a vending machine, but is confused by British money:
    Roman: Hey, uh, which one of these is, like, a dollar?
    *Hobbs shoots out the vending machine glass, spilling its contents*
    Hobbs: It's on the house.
    *Roman picks up a candy bar out of the pile*
  • What's better than Tej and Roman treating each other like Bros? Tej and Hobbs trolling like bros. Tej and Hobbs go to buy some cars from a car show and a haughty English salesman shows up and instantly makes racist remarks about Tej not being all blinged out and with a woman on each arm and how he couldn't afford the cars there, while assuming Hobbs is there as kitchen help. Meanwhile, Hobbs thinks Tej is going to steal them and repeatedly refuses to let him do so. Cue the cars being delivered at their base and the salesman thanking Mr. Parker for buying the cars and asking if there's anything else he can do for them. Tej and Hobbs make him hand over his shirt, pants and watch, walking away with only his underwear.
  • When the tank shows up:
    Tej: (With an Oh, Crap face) Uh, guys, we gotta come up with another plan. ([[Beat Beat]]) They got a tank.
    Roman: I'm sorry, did somebody just say a tank?
    Cue the tank driving by
    Roman: So, who's got a Plan B?
    Tej: "Plan B?" We need a Plan C, D, E; we need more alphabets!
    • During the tank chase:
      Roman: Somebody do something! I got a tank on my ass!
  • Oh and before anyone forgets, just remember the words on the airplane's tail before dealing with the group's resident Motor Mouth: IT'S ROMAN, BITCHES!
  • Hobbs heading to a control station to get camera footage in a sewer. Two of the guards are obviously on Shaw's payroll and try to turn him away when it comes to ask for it. Hobbs sees through them quite clearly but subtlety tells them that "it would be ridiculous" if that was the case. Needless to say the guards quickly get the hint.
FargoFunny/FilmFear and Loathing in Las Vegas

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