Funny / The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind

  • Din is a rather... unusual Redguard encountered north of Gnisis. He apparently lost his mind when he was bitten by a slaughterfish, and his fever is making him say very interesting things, like: "Muddled? Where? No! Don't play in the muddled. You'll get a dirty mind."
  • When wandering the countryside, you might run into a naked Nordic barbarian standing around. He claims a witch stole his clothes. Elsewhere, you might encounter another Nordic barbarian claiming a witch stole his clothes. And a third. There's also one in Tribunal, but he insists that he was only naked because of the heat, and complains that everybody thinks a witch stole his clothes.
  • ABCs for Barbarians. It's Exactly What It Says on the Tin - an alphabet book meant to educate barbarians on how to read.
  • Speaking of books, Boethiah's Pillow Book.
    No words can describe what you see. Or what you think you see.
  • And of course, there's always The Lusty Argonian Maid...
  • When your character is fighting and someone hits them, normally they grunt or give a gasp of pain, but on occasion, they'll yell "Stoooopid!"
  • Crassius Curio. Besides the Squick he is simply so funny.
  • There's a spell called Emasculate that you can buy. It drains endurance. And there are a couple of bedrooms where you can find potions of Fortify Endurance under or behind the bed.
  • Dagoth Ur's reaction when you start attacking the Heart of Lorkhan.
  • The "Favors for Orcs" quest. It involves two orcs trying to hide from the guards for whatever reason, and you must play messenger boy between them. The first gives you a note to give to the other orc, saying that he's hiding "by the tree near a rock and another rock". He says that he's "good at hiding, so if you don't see me, that's where I am". When the quest is over, your journal notes that you "feel a bit stupider for ever having talked to either one of them".
  • Speaking of orcs, Ghorak Manor in Caldera has a few humorous areas. Creeper, the friendly Scamp with the 2nd most gold to barter in the vanilla game is on the 2nd level. Elsewhere, there is a female orc in a bedroom wearing armor up top... and nothing down below.
  • The note you have to deliver as proof that the Gateway ghost has finally disappeared.