- Roland, after buying Eddie a sandwich with mayonnaise.
Roland: I'd prefer a topping that didn't look so much like come, myself.
- The character that is Earl Harrigan, featured in the sixth and seventh books. Can you say GAWD-BOMB?
- Roland's awkward adventure at the drugstore, culminating in him giving a clerk a Rolex watch to pay for some penicillin.
- Flagg's note with the smiley faces in Wizard and Glass.
- Cuthbert's quips in Wizard and Glass
Cuthbert: Dig it deep. We don't want the wind to blow it away.
Alain: (annoyed) Do you want to do it? Just so you can make sure it's done right?
Cuthbert: No, Al. You're doing fine for someone who's both blind and soft in the head. Go on.
- On Susan and Roland:
Cuthbert: She's tranced him. Whether she means to or not, she'll kill us all in the end. Wait and see if she don't.
Alain: You shouldn't say such, even in jest.
Cuthbert: All right, she'll crown us with the jewels of Eld and we'll live forever.
- In Song of Susannah, Roland knows who's the best at blitzing enemies with bullshit until an ambush can be sprung:
“Slow him down if you can,” Roland said. “It’s not wet enough in there yet.”“Slow down Andolini?” Eddie asked. “How do I do that?”“With your everlasting mouth!” Roland cried, and Eddie saw a wonderful, heartening thing: Roland was grinning. Almost laughing.
- Needless to say, Eddie manages.
- Eddie being confronted by the Customs officers in the aeroplane toilet in Drawing of the Three, if you're into that kinda thing...
- Virtually any time Roland gets to try food or drink from Eddie and Susannah's world, even food or drink that you or I would consider bland or unremarkable, his reaction is always hilarious. His first sip of Pepsi? Heroic B.S.O.D.. Eating a "tooter-fish" (tuna fish) sandwich from a commercial airline? It becomes his Trademark Favorite Food. Hell, he even greedily chomps down on KFC and takes a break from all the action to nab some sliced turkey from a deli in Maine. The only food from our side he explicitly doesn't like? Hotdogs from a New York stand.