Funny / The Dark Tower

  • Roland, after buying Eddie a sandwich with mayonnaise.
    Roland: I'd prefer a topping that didn't look so much like come, myself.
  • The character that is Earl Harrigan, featured in the sixth and seventh books. Can you say GAWD-BOMB?
  • Roland's awkward adventure at the drugstore, culminating in him giving a clerk a Rolex watch to pay for some penicillin.
  • Flagg's note with the smiley faces in Wizard and Glass.
  • Cuthbert's quips in Wizard and Glass
    Cuthbert: Dig it deep. We don't want the wind to blow it away.
    Alain: (annoyed) Do you want to do it? Just so you can make sure it's done right?
    Cuthbert: No, Al. You're doing fine for someone who's both blind and soft in the head. Go on.
  • On Susan and Roland:
    Cuthbert: She's tranced him. Whether she means to or not, she'll kill us all in the end. Wait and see if she don't.
    Alain: You shouldn't say such, even in jest.
    Cuthbert: All right, she'll crown us with the jewels of Eld and we'll live forever.
  • In Song of Susannah, Roland knows who's the best at blitzing enemies with bullshit until an ambush can be sprung:
    “Slow him down if you can,” Roland said. “It’s not wet enough in there yet.”
    “Slow down Andolini?” Eddie asked. “How do I do that?”
    “With your everlasting mouth!” Roland cried, and Eddie saw a wonderful, heartening thing: Roland was grinning. Almost laughing.
    • Needless to say, Eddie manages.
  • Eddie being confronted by the Customs officers in the aeroplane toilet in Drawing of the Three, if you're into that kinda thing...
  • Virtually any time Roland gets to try food or drink from Eddie and Susannah's world, even food or drink that you or I would consider bland or unremarkable, his reaction is always hilarious. His first sip of Pepsi? Heroic B.S.O.D.. Eating a "tooter-fish" (tuna fish) sandwich from a commercial airline? It becomes his Trademark Favorite Food. Hell, he even greedily chomps down on KFC and takes a break from all the action to nab some sliced turkey from a deli in Maine. The only food from our side he explicitly doesn't like? Hotdogs from a New York stand.