Funny: The Daily Show And The Colbert Report
aka: The Daily Show
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- November 4, 2008: The end of the 2008 election special, where the cast suffer an epic Heroic BSOD upon learning that the punditry is over and that they don't need to cover the election any more. This results in Stephen Colbert putting on dark glasses and large earmuffs to try and block out the reality of Obama's election, Rob Riggle's "grieving process" (involving him losing his pants, for some reason known only to himself), and Aasif Mandvi, having previously been in 'Pakistan', bursting in to plead Jon Stewart not to let it end:
Jon Stewart: Aasif... You're in Pakistan!
Aasif Mandvi: I am too upset to be confined by your logic, Stewart!
- Oprah's appearance, giving rally tickets to the entire audience.
Stephen: Jon, your rally is supposed to be all about sanity. And that was completely insane.
- October 30, 2010: The Rally to Restore Sanity And/Or Fear. All of it.
- Cat Steven's Peace Train vs. Ozzy Osbourne's Crazy Train. The winner: Love Train.
- Stephen Colbert emerges from the stage like a Chilean miner.
- Dressed as Evel Knievel, to boot.
- The Mythbusters appear to perform experiments with the audience on The Wave and jumping-based earthquakes. Particularly when Adam declares Jamie to be "like Chuck Norris."
- The Stephen Colbert puppet and John Oliver dressed like Peter Pan.
- "The puppet should melt too!"
- Stephen panics about "corbamite" in his drinking water.
- In the Christmas Episode, Elvis Costello watching the gruesome deaths of the Jonas Brothers. Also Elvis Costello's Take That aimed at David Bowie near the end of the special.
Jon: I have candles...
- Jon Stewart trying to explain Hanukkah to Stephen gives us this:
Stephen: (engrossed) What're those?!
Jon: (beyond irritated) THEY'RE CANDLES!!
- May 2, 2011: Stephen believing that Seal Team Six (The team responsible for killing Osama Bin Laden) consists of Rambo, John McClane, Batman, Master Chief, Lara Croft, Vin Diesel, and Po.
Stephen: And I hope I am never again this happy over someone's death. And I'm sure - I know that if I saw myself in the mirror, I would be appalled by the look on my face... (pulls out a hand mirror) Nope, I like this!
Jon: I suppose I should be expressing some ambivalence about the targeted killing of another human being, and yet... uh, no.
Jon (after showing clips of people warning of possible reprisals): Yes, we shouldn't have killed him. 'Cause now the terrorists are going to want to attack us. But you know what? Even when they do, you know who won't see it? Bin Laden, 'cuz we shot out his eyes, and now he lives in a pineapple under the sea.
- Jon and Stephen's Ham-to-Ham Combat wherein Stephen transfers power of Colbert SuperPAC over to Jon.
Narrator: If Mitt Romney really believes corporations are people...then Mitt Romney is a serial killer.
- How about the followup when Stephen got his SuperPAC back?
- Speaking of, some of the attack ads were also damn good.
- September 20, 2012: Both of their reactions to the recent evidence that Jesus was married:
Stewart: That is some pure, uncut sitcom bait. (announcer voice) He can raise the dead, but Heaven help him when he forgets to put down the toilet seat. Yes, Kevin James is Jesus in The King of Kings.
Colbert:You know things are gonna change, when I go to confess my sins, you know he's gonna tell her, you can't have secrets in a marriage. She's gonna offer her two cents. "You're really gonna forgive him for that? Normal people don't do that with Glade plug-ins." Oh, and listen up, he can forget that beard and the robe. From now on it is clean shaven and a polo shirt. And when he comes again in glory it's gonna be in a minivan.
- July 16, 2013: What caused the power outage at the end of The Daily Show the night before? Stephen, despondent/furious over John Oliver filling in for Jon, had cut the power himself.
- September 3, 2013: Jon is back from the Middle East, but he doesn't seem to be his American self. So John Oliver and Jessica Williams use a Big Mac defibrillator, which turns him into Larry the Cable Guy. Then, John Oliver injects Jon with a needle, but it turns him into Moses, then Freddie Mercury, then Miley Cyrus, before finally becoming Hitler. Out of ideas, they call in Stephen, wearing a hazmat suit, to actually beat some sense into him with a baseball bat. You must see it to believe it.
- September 24, 2013: After winning their first Emmy for Outstanding Variety Series, breaking The Daily Show's ten year domination of the category, Colbert attempts to call Jon to gloat about breaking his streak. However, Jon shows up, tries to be magnanimous in defeat, but when Colbert keeps trying to rub it in, Jon points out that since he's an Executive Producer of The Colbert Report, he still won, keeping Stewart's streak intact.
- Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert beautifully demonstrate a massive loophole in a law that supposedly prevents super-pacs from coordinating with political candidates.
- December 18, 2014 (Colbert's Finale): The Daily Show's moment of zen that night (which came after the Report's last episode when Stephen tossed to Jon one last time) featured a Daily Show/Colbert Report toss outtake from 2010.
Stephen: (playing with a toy monkey) I love you, Jon Stewart! I love you! (puts toy down) Please tell me that was the toss!Jon: I have no problem with it. Can we do that?Producer: No.Jon: (disappointed) All right, let's get back into our funny characters. (woodenly) Hey Stephen! How are you doing?Stephen: I'm getting angry at liberals!Jon cracks up
- August 6, 2015 (Jon's last show):
Jon: How am I Frodo, why aren't you Frodo?
- Who else would give Jon his final send-off for his last day on the Daily Show but Stephen, who would then immediately use The Lord of the Rings as a metaphor for Jon's time on the show.
Stephen: You can't stop anyone, 'cause they don't work for you anymore. Huge mistake Jon.
- Before Stephen thanks Jon on behalf of everyone, Jon tries to get out from behind his desk and bail, only for Stephan to move to cut him off saying:
The Daily Show with Craig Kilborn
- (Nothing as of yet, but here just in case.)
- "...so you hate him because he's anti-semantic?"
- Not to mention: "Arr, I'm Cap n' Trade!"
- Pretty much any time things don't go as planned.
- The Tek Jansen theme song. Pretty much every line.
Tek Jansen, Alpha Squad Seven, facing the future of courage!
Killing the aliens! Loving the aliens!
Sometimes loving, then killing the aliens!
Tek Jansen, wearer of starsuits, surfing the comet of danger!
Foiling his enemy, Thurmond Chang
And those affiliated with the Thurmond Chang Gang!
- The message that you get if you try accessing the Colbert Report or Daily Show via the Internet, if you live in the UK.
- The Australian one encourages you to be cheered up because while you may not have access, you still have kangaroos and boomerangs.
- Apparently Canadians aren't allowed to watch because of our "overly polite attitudes."