Funny / The Crystal Maze

  • One contestant was supposed to get the crystal out of a treasure chest, but for some strange reason he seemed more interested in a skeleton that served no purpose other than decorating the test chamber. Richard O'Brien tried to help the contestant out by telling him to "look at the chest." So the contestant grabbed hold of the skeleton via its ribcage and tried to drag it out of the chamber, which resulted in much yelling from his team-mates about how that wasn't the "chest" that Richard was talking about.
  • Another had a contestant putting together pieces of a puzzle which would then tell him a button he had to press on a wall, the wall containing buttons next to codes representing directions (U2 = Up 2, D4 = Down 4) etc, with each direction leading to another button forming a path to the crystal. The person had to press U3 then continue from there, but he spent most of the remaining time trying to figure out what to do next. Eventually when he came out as the timer ran out, a somewhat exsaperated Richard pulled the contestant back into the room and solved the puzzle for him!
    Richard: Now we go Left 2! Let's get the hell out of here!
  • This game from Series 1 is one of the most hilarious failures in the entire run. From the contestant falling in the water immediately upon reaching the far side of the beam, to her attempts to get the cage containing the crystal by throwing the pole with the hook at it, to her finally hooking the cage containing the crystal with 7 seconds left... only to drop it into the water (automatically forfeiting the crystal) and fall in herself immediately afterwards, to her teammate calling Richard a "horrible man" for locking her in and protesting that she was "almost out of the door", to which Richard replies, "She was in the water more than she was out of the door!", it is two minutes of pure comedy gold. For a time a clip of that game (the contestant dropping the cage into the water and falling in after it) even made it into the opening titles.
  • The one crystal attempt at the crystal dome mentioned on the main page also qualifies.
  • Ed Tudor Pole's first appearance in a non-holiday special had him telling the contestants that if anyone did not make it out of the game before time runs out, they'd be locked in "for two months".
  • The collections of outtakes, in addition to including the usual scenes of crew members accidentally getting in shot or props and scenery not working as planned, feature plenty of staggeringly inept performances at the various games, this time accompanied by the director's audio track. Evidently, the crew were thinking the same things as the viewers when watching some of the more clueless contestants, laughing hysterically or grumbling in utter disgust at how they could misunderstand a game so completely.
    (during the game in which the contestant seems more interested in the prop skeleton than the treasure chest)
    "Where do we get them!?"
  • The 2016 Stand Up To Cancer celebrity special with Stephen Merchant has some brilliant gags:
    • Michelle Keegan being utterly inept in the Aztec Zone.
    • "Why are we running, this bit isn't timed!"
    • Merchant during the Crystal Dome:
    Look at them. Like Sam Allardyce grabbing at fivers!